In what Universe do you think these/this packed lunch would be acceptable...?

[Showmeyours]

Opinions sought on the following...thank you in advance. (Photos available of first two descriptions for those that like that sort of thing...and in case ex is still stalking me - yeah, 'loving care', because you say so).

PL1- two slices of white bread and butter (crusts off), small packet of Walkers Sensations Thai sweet chilli crisps, Dairy Milk Oreo chocolate bar.

PL2 - two slices of white bread and butter (crusts off) with cheese, small packet of (MN fave) Pom bears, 75g packet of strawberry 'laces'.

Week 2: One child on 'school lunch'. Child two given packed lunch consisting of - Two slices of white bread and butter (crusts off), four 'Maryland' brand chocolate chip cookies.

For avoidance of drip-feeding, I'm Mum in this. 'Lunches' provided by the in out laws. Children are on the cusp of teens, and 'starving' most of the time.

Just bread and butter - no sandwich filling?

I don't know what I would do but they really are shit lunches.

Totally agree that there are not acceptable. Can the DC not suggest other things. I'm assuming you are not around when the lunches are being made up

YANBU. Why are in laws doing it and not Dad?

Sorry - I assumed that Dad is your ex and in laws are doing those lunches on ex's days, is that right? If not, then you need to prepare their packed lunches and take that job from in laws.

Are these every day? Might be worth avoiding rifts if it's just once a week and they get fed properly the rest of the time. Or as 123rd said, could the kids suggest a few ideas, or at least ask for more food if they're really hungry after those?

But yes, not good at all.

Why are the inlaws providing food?

Very poor.

Thank you for lovely sensible replies (truly), I am not a lone voice in the mist of a 5 year post separation battle after all.

I am not there for the making up of these packed lunches - DC 10 and 11, it's not their fault.

Ex and family were highly acclaimed restaurateurs as a career/business and self-confessed 'gastronomes'...pheasant sandwiches for my ex at 16 years (eons ago) old - family story told with pride, over and over again during the marriage. Drip feed alert...in-laws (proudly) refused to ever serve chips at their high class establishment. I love a good chip so I do, no wonder my marriage failed!

But seriously, two children are being being provided with this food by people who eat only the very best of the best.

Can you just insist on school dinners.

That's terrible. Can you arrange for them to have school lunches when they are over There?

That's borderline vindictive and cruel. Awful.

Ex's work schedule changed at very last minute (...again) and his family took over 'his' weekend for the first time ever.

Court ordered contact (his) normally has 2 after school until 6pm - he sends next day packed lunch on these days - and they are only, marginally, less dismal imho.

Smitff That's borderline vindictive and cruel. Awful.

Not just me then? Thank you.

Just wish you were my Judge.

I read the OP and assumed this was for a very fussy 4/5-year-old.

At 10/11 that's just ridiculous. They could comfortably eat that "lunch" as a break time snack and still be claiming starvation by 11am.

Could you link to the generally crap but at least vaguely authoritative Change4Life stuff? From memory it says a packed lunch should contain carbs, protein, dairy and vegetable/fruit/salad.

Arrange for them to have school lunches.

That's disgraceful! I hope he is reading!!!

my 6 year old would see that as a snack. Its far from a lunch.

My kids wouldn't have eaten that little in late primary years, I'm pretty sure DS barely has any more now (yr9).
It's food, it's not poison.

What everyone else says. Awful lunches. Not enough for a 10 and 11 year old. Could they try to ask for more? (I have 'relatives' who eat well but would accidentally starve my children with a bit of rubbish. They just misjudge what children eat. We have to eat again later.)

All the replies are very gratefully received, thank you.

It may sound like a petty battle to some, but it's just the latest in a long line of coercive control from ex and family. Another example - children only eat dinner at ex M I L 's when she has family visitors. Children are given food (brought from freezer of Ex) to eat before being sent to living room (and told to stay there) whilst the adults/visitors eat a home-cooked meal.

The ONE year (in the past 5) ex was (work related - but changeable as I have found out to my cost) 'available' to be with children over the Christmas period, he never brought up any suggestion at all that he wanted to spend time with them. Many emails, texts, Lawyer letters later, he finally understood that he could specify any and all times/days/dates he wished.

He finally 'asked' for Christmas Day 1- 6pm. No problem said I.

He fed one child a bowl of buttered pasta, and the other an 8" supermarket pizza - of which he ate two slices. Dropped off children at 6pm and headed to family victorian feast Christmas Dinner.

Do I take this (very shit packed lunches provided by supposedly 'loving' family...this is the very least of it) back to Court? I have not managed to protect my children so far even with far more serious concerns. FML.

Well, that would be the last Christmas Day he'd get. He and his family really look after themselves, don't they?

I would try to get a teacher to complain about the lunches - that would hold more weight.

Do your children actually want to see their dad? He sounds incredibly selfish.

MrsHathaway a packed lunch should contain carbs, protein, dairy and vegetable/fruit/salad...yes, yes, yes, my thoughts, and actual provision when it's 'my turn'...

I know what they like/dislike, and promote, urge, inform, suggest, that they actually eat the balanced and mixed diet I provide for lunches (and all other meals - plenty of 70's generation level treats included too, I'm no luddite). No compulsion, just responding to their food preferences (within reason) eat it or don't eat it.

Just raging that self confessed life-long gastronomes can lawfully claim 'loving care' of childen/grandchildren whilst providing food like this, and flouting his Court order being so smug all the while.

Tip of the iceberg in actuality.

All responses gratefully read - thank you. Girding my loins for next bout of coercive controlling ex's fuckwittery.

MyBrilliantDisguise Well, that would be the last Christmas Day he'd get...

Last day in Court...Ex' availabilty meant he was (finally) home for Christmas 2017. Suggested to his young and thrusting lawyer that if Mr stbx was indeed so KEEN to have his children on Christmas Day this year, the yes how about he has them for the entire week. It would be my pleasure, and no I'm not really up for her ''oh goody, TWO Christmasses (SP?), what lucky children'! split day he proffered, and she swallowed.

You wouldn't guess that since then he has AGAIN, sadly, unwillingly, is distraught and devastated, to have change his work rota again...NO Christmas Day with Daddy for another year, oh no...endless tears (his) and endless victim (his) emails ensue.

Like I said, FML.