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Original poster

Old lady in the village

28 replies

PsychoPumpkin · 10/07/2017 14:26

First post. I was on my way to my Daughter's sports day this afternoon but not long after leaving the house I was stopped by an old lady asking if I knew where she lived.

I asked if she had any ID on her that would have her address but all she could tell me was her name so I took her to the local shop and asked the shop keeper if he knew where the lady lived and he did, so I took her home, all the while she was crying about being a 'silly old fool'. She'd left to go and buy food for her dog & she was worried about him.

When we got her home her (obviously very well loved) dog bounded up & I knew I'd got her where she needed to be, but didn't know what more do to for her so left my name, address & number & she asked me to look around for anything 'dangerous'. There didn't seem to be any dangers in her home & her kitchen had plenty of dog food & the fridge was stocked (I didn't open it, she was just opening cupboard & fridge doors putting her shopping away)

She said she had a son who 'pops in' but didn't know where he lived & i worry she's all alone & needs at the minimum some in home support.

My husband things I should call social services, what would you do?

OP posts:

Notreallyarsed · 10/07/2017 14:27

You did a very kind thing OP, I'm glad she found you. I agree with your husband, this lady obviously needs more support than she is getting.

ItsNachoCheese · 10/07/2017 14:29

Perhaps a call to them wouldnt be a bad idea. She may be on their radar anyway and if not they could check shes okay. She sounds like she could have dementia or alzheimers. My papa did things like ^^ in and now he is in a care home where he gets excellent care

LidlAngel · 10/07/2017 14:30

Yes I'd call social services and tell them about the incident. It may be she's already in receipt of some sort of care package but better to be safe than sorry.

becotide · 10/07/2017 14:30

yes,you need to call adult social care services for your area, a quick google should find it

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 10/07/2017 14:32

That's so sad.
I'm glad there are people like you about OP.
Yes it won't hurt to call and check that she's on their radar.

Original poster

PsychoPumpkin · 10/07/2017 14:34

She did say she had dementia, she was very trusting though, she just let me walk right into her home.

I can't stop thinking about her & know I won't be able to until I know she's getting the care she needs.

I'd worry she'd be separated from her dog, she's all the lady has.

OP posts:

strikealight · 10/07/2017 14:44

A call to social services seems like a good idea. They are not scary - we were "afraid " of calling them for my very poorly but no dementia mum. She lived in a town with a lot of dysfunction that would keep them too busy to help her. Or so we thought. They were absolutely wonderful.
And I don't say that lightly or easily.

AlletrixLeStrange · 10/07/2017 14:46

They won't force her into a care home. They might offer some at-home care support and suggest to family keeping doors locked etc so she can't get out (I know that sounds horrendous, but it could be best for her safety).

Original poster

PsychoPumpkin · 10/07/2017 15:02

I've had a look online but it's not obvious to me what I should be googling. Does anyone know?
I live in Lincolnshire if that's any help!

OP posts:

strikealight · 10/07/2017 15:03

Look for your local council- start there.

KeiraKnightleyActsWithHerTeeth · 10/07/2017 15:05

You did a nice thing OP, I imagine she was very scared when she didn't have a clue where she was.

I would pop a call to adult social care via your local council.
I've found this
www.lincolnshire.gov.uk/adult-care/

And this

www.lincolnshire.gov.uk/adult-care/safeguarding-adults/reporting-concerns/120500.article

Although the second one is about neglect they would probably be helpful in pointing you in the right direction or being able to do something themselves.

We need more people like you OP.

Baalam · 10/07/2017 15:06

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me! Old lady in village very confused asked me to take her home. I got her to give me her sons phone number and I rang him. He lived a good 3 hours drive away. He has moved her from the village to be nearer him

anditwasallgoingsowell · 10/07/2017 15:11

Could you pop back later op? Hopefully she will remember you. You could ask her for her sons number too and maybe give him a ring.

I'd be worried that the next person she asked for help might take advantage in some way.

Floralnomad · 10/07/2017 15:14

Definitely call SS , it could well be that she is already known to them , a similar thing happened to me on a sunday evening when I was walking my dog and I had to knock at several houses before someone would admit to knowing where she lived . I think they were telling porkies and just didn't want to get involved as apparently she had form for standing in the road asking random people in for tea , very quiet street but a cut through to a local supermarket . I left her at the door and told her not to come back out as I didn't want to go in and then be accused of anything ( plus I had my dog with me) and went home and rang the SS on call team and gave them her address and they knew who I was on about straight away . After that I noticed that there was always a car in the drive so I'm assuming a family member moved in . It just concerned me that she could have took anybody indoors and was so vulnerable .

Original poster

PsychoPumpkin · 10/07/2017 15:15

Thank you Keira!

Baalam, this poor lady said her son 'wouldn't want to know' her

OP posts:

kkkkaty123 · 10/07/2017 15:15

I'm glad it was you she approached. X

BishopBrennansArse · 10/07/2017 15:17

Please speak to adult services

Original poster

PsychoPumpkin · 10/07/2017 15:19

I think I will pop back later when the kids have my husband home to mind them, I want to get her full name & address before I make a call. At the moment all I have is a first name & a house number.

She couldn't even remember her son's name let alone his number, she wasn't even sure he lived in the village.

OP posts:

Redglitter · 10/07/2017 15:26

this poor lady said her son 'wouldn't want to know' her sad

You can't take what she says at face value though. We regularly get calls at work (Police) from people with dementia etc saying they haven't been fed in days and no one comes to see them. In actual fact they havecarers coming in 4 times a day.

One regular says his daughter lives 4 hours away and they don't speak. She stays 3 streets away and visits him daily.

If you go backI'd definitely try and get a contact number for her family

Paddywack92 · 10/07/2017 15:27

Age Concern and/or Age UK might be able to help as well

msrisotto · 10/07/2017 15:34

While she might be right that her son wouldn't want to know, it can also happen that people with dementia forget when they last spoke to them, feel like it's been years and assume they've been abandoned. Terribly sad.

cafetea · 10/07/2017 15:37

It's lovely that you helped her and are following up on getting her the care she needs. I would say to pop round and leave a note for her son somewhere that he would find it when he came to visit. Does she go to a local church as they might be able to help contact people to help as well. Is there a community police officer who could have a check that all is ok when they are in the area. One of those alert systems for help if she trips over at home or is confused would be a good idea.

Floralnomad · 10/07/2017 15:41

If she doesn't have a number for family you could try the neighbours as sometimes relatives give them contact details for emergencies.

Baalam · 10/07/2017 15:47

Are you in a 'proper' ie small! Village? Someone will know her? Neighbours?

BenLui · 10/07/2017 16:04

I came on to echo what Red said.

My Grandmother had dementia, when in hospital she would tell passing nurses that no one ever came to visit her. She had family with her for each and every visitors session.

At home she'd tell people that she was alone all day when she wasn't.

She'd say she hadn't had a cup of tea all day when she was still holding a cup in her hand.

It was all terribly distressing. Don't discount or judge her son yet.

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