Should I swerve this baby group?

[Februaryrat]

I've been looking for a good music baby group for ages, for my 15 month old.

I was recommended one not too far away, held in a church. For context, I'm a vocal atheist, but have no problem with going to religious buildings - as far as I'm concerned, the more they're used for baby groups and community work, the better!

The baby group was fantastic - it was super, super cheap, there were cakes and baby snacks available, hot drinks for the parents, and when the group started, it was really well run - instruments, props - everything you would want from a music group.

Except when the bubble machine came out, so did the song about being Jesus' best friend. This was unexpected. I looked around the room trying to find a friendly, similarly horrified face, but everyone I saw was smiling beatifically and singing along.

This is not an attack on religion. I am aware I was in a church, and if they're not allowed to have a sing about Jesus there, then where are they?! If anyone is hypocritical, it is me!

BUT - I am in two minds about whether to go back to the group. I cannot and will not join in with the Jesus songs (or the line about the mummies on the bus go chatter-chatter-chatter, but that's a separate issue), but I did like everything else about the group. I am not quite unhinged enough to think my toddler is going to be indoctrinated, but something doesn't quite sit right. Maybe taking advantage of something offered under false pretences? I can't put my finger on it.

Anyone have any thoughts?

Same thing happened to me OP. I too am an atheist.

In the end I stuck with it. All my DD remembers is the musical instruments and dancing scarves.

We also made friends there, who also aren't religious but just wanted to get out of the house.

Plus, as long as they're not singing about original sin or the rapture, it wasn't so bad to expose DD to other beliefs.

My aunt and cousins have been very involved in church baby groups and are believers. I'm not.
When they say that non-believers are welcome, they truly mean it. They are the kind of Christians that just get on with it quietly trying to live a good life and to do as much to help the community and others as they can. They will never try to convert you because their personal ministry is to provide a lifeline for parents who need one. They will never judge but will always help because that's how THEY serve God.
Talk to the people who run the group, tell them you feel awkward as a non-believer,and gauge their reaction. You may find that you are still genuinely welcome.
I have in my family Catholics, Baptists, members of an Evangelical Free Church, and Jehovah's Witnesses. They all claim to be Christians but conduct themselves very differently indeed.

OP parenting gonna be hard for you if you look into shit like this !

Christmas OP Christmas are you avoiding this chat ??!!

Mainly are you from the Bronx?

Most churchy people would welcome regardless of whether a believer or not my personal view would be to welcome the opportunity to learn about how others live with a degree of tolerance and respect. I can't see the child coming to much harm and all education is good - even if the views are dismissed. I'm not Sikh but have been (with all the children) to a Gurdwara with friends - my children thought it was much better than a Catholic Church because they dished out lots of free food and the best samosa ever. Their not, in reality, about to convert but recognise and respect the faith of others. They studied all religions at school - which has to be a good thing, surely. It feels like your discomfort is around your wanting to prove atheism is right - can you not just accept it is different?

Umm BTW you do know that if you are in England (and maybe other parts of the UK) - no State school is "non-religious", they all teach RE and are supposed to have Assemblies which are "broadly Christian".

At the Church toddler groups I went to most of the Mums weren't from that or any other church.

@MummyTime, I said non-faith school. I am fully aware that the national curriculum contains religious education. I have no problem with learning about religion.

There seems to be a misconception that I think my children are going to be poisoned by the horrid Christians offering evil cake and bunny songs. Reread my posts; that is not the issue.

For those of you who think I'm sweating the small stuff, I assure you I'm not stressed out about this - just wanted a sounding board and a chance to reflect. If you think this is too trivial to think about, you don't need to reply!

Those of you who have taken the time to understand, thank you. You have mainly reassured me that we would be welcome either way. I will however continue looking for a group where I don't feel I'm taking up a space that could be used more appropriately by a believer.

One of my older friends volunteers at a group which sounds similar to yours. I honestly think it's seen as a bit of a community service, rather than anything overtly religious, if that makes sense? Certainly, she would be delighted for you to go along (and she isn't all that religious herself, to be honest). Second the pp who said to have a quick chat with the vicar if you're worried, but I suspect they will just be pleased to have someone else involved with the "community" and won't be at all concerned about your particular beliefs.

Jonesy :o :o that's a very random interjection mainly :o You're quite right, best not "look into" (think about?) Anything too much - gonna be hard otherwise...

Jonesy

I think any toddler group at a church will be run by the church. Why does it make you so uncomfortable have you had a bad experience in church in the past!!?? Most people would just not go back not post about it on mn

I've had a similar issue with a group in my village. The group has a name that is a generic fun sounding playgroup, advertised suitable from 0-5, nursery rhymes, story's and baking. It's held in a local village hall, with the leaders of Mr X & Mrs Y.
No where it said anything about religion.

I turned up and it's run by a vicar/priest (please excuse my ignorance) who started the group by saying the Lord's Prayer, and almost shouting at my DS for talking to the other children during the prayer? He was 10 months old at the time.

Not one nursery rhyme was sang, but a lot of hymns, no fairy tale story's, but bible ones :(

Surely this is false advertisement, and think it's quite bad taste.

I'm not at all offended by religion, I went to a Catholic school when I was younger, but am now atheist, but think if it is quite obviously a religious group with religious context, it should be declared, as not to offend people with other beliefs.

If you feel so strongly about it then you shouldn't be attending church run events (obviously a toddler group run at the church is going to be run by the church).

Perhaps you could attend 'rhyme time' sessions at your local
Library instead.

We go to a playgroup in a church which has a similar Jesus's sing song at one point. The people who run the playgroup know that not everyone who attends is into religion and that they are there for the benefit of the kids. I know what you mean about feeling uncomfortable about being there and it not sitting right at that point. But I honestly would not worry about it and if you and your kid enjoyed the group then you should carry on going back. No one there is going to demand that you participate in the happy chappy bit and if you want to you can leave at that point. Carry on enjoying the playgroup