Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Ungrateful gift recipients

43 replies

Apfelbunny · 29/12/2016 18:43

I'll spare the tedious details, but would appreciate advice on how to handle this.
We bought a relative and his wife a gift for their new baby for Christmas and also something fun for the couple - like they asked us to do and as we do annually.
After they leave, we are told by family we stayed with that the gift for the baby was unsuitable and they hadn't liked the fun gift and we're upset we hadn't put any thought into it - we had actually put a lot of thought and effort into the gifts but that's not the point, the relative we stayed with asked us what we had done to rectify the situation (as they were offended on the couple's behalf )we said we'd texted an apology, however that wasn't deemed good enough and we're basically expected to buy more appropriate gifts...

Now, maybe I'm in the wrong here, but if I get something I don't like/want/need I say thank you and just don't use it or give it to someone who does want it, I don't say anything to the person who gave it.

So, what do we do now? Apologise again, buy something else? Or am I being just as bad for getting offended by the gifts being badly received?

OP posts:
FiveMoreMinutesPlease · 29/12/2016 18:51

I wouldn't think you even have to text an apology!!! They should be grateful you gave them something.
Did the couple say thank you to your face? Is the other relative stirring?

Crumbs1 · 29/12/2016 18:53

The correct etiquette is the recipients say thank you with obvious pleasure at the time and follow this up with a hand written thank you card.

Hermanfromguesswho · 29/12/2016 18:54

How could they be offended by a gift? Unless you bought them a sex toy or something completely inappropriate?

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas General shopping
dementedpixie · 29/12/2016 18:55

Wtf did you get them? Correct etiquette is to say thanks whether you like it or not

Couchpotato3 · 29/12/2016 18:56

Family who passed on the message are clearly deranged, and if the couple are genuinely offended, then they are too, and I'd call a halt to the gift giving as of now. Bizarre behaviour all round. What are these people like?

DollyPlastic · 29/12/2016 18:57

What the hell did you buy them?Shock

gamerchick · 29/12/2016 19:00

Tell them to fuck off and never expect anything from you again.

Or something like that.

Yoarchie · 29/12/2016 19:00

Depends entirely on what you bought. Unless it was really dodgy then you should ignore them and probably not bother too much with them.

Meeep · 29/12/2016 19:02

You'll have to think up something equivalent to what you gave them, so as not to out yourself, but so we can judge what is going on here.

Ilovecaindingle · 29/12/2016 19:04

We need to know the gifts!!

mumofthemonsters808 · 29/12/2016 19:06

Agree with Gamer, they are a pair of cheeky, entitled bastards and so is the family member, shame on them all. Wants,, demands and needs seem to be the norm nowadays rather than accepting presents with appreciation and saying a good old fashioned thank you.

gamerchick · 29/12/2016 19:06

'I think it may be best if we don't exchange gifts in the future, for family harmony'. Do not buy more stuff, you're not going to be walked all over after that rude slap in the face, cheeky gits Angry

ChocolateCakeandSprinkles · 29/12/2016 19:07

I'd love to know what the gift is, but I would ignore it.

Good manners is to smile and say thank you. If you don't like it re-gift it or take it back if you can!

I wouldn't be apologising. Tell the other people to keep their nose out and learn some manners too! Talk about stirring!

toriap2 · 29/12/2016 19:07

Was the baby's present a bottle of JD? Or 20 cigarettes? Seriously, they all sound like they have no manners.

TataEs · 29/12/2016 19:07

unless u bought a chainsaw for the baby and a prositute for the couple i think they should be the ones apologising

NerrSnerr · 29/12/2016 19:08

They do sound very ungrateful, unless you bought the baby something utterly unsuitable.

Original poster
Apfelbunny · 29/12/2016 19:09

We got them a stuffed bear from a craft fair (turns out it was second hand, if I had known it was second hand I wouldn't of given it for a baby, I thought it was hand made) and for them we got a novelty cardboard house to colour in be a useful we thought they'd enjoy it based on their perceived humour.

It was obvious from her face she didn't like the gifts but said thanks, then mentioned it to the people we're staying with who have kept going on about it.

We won't buy them anything next year. If it was down to me they wouldn't even get a card (which we had to write 2 of this year because the first one got intercepted and the wording was deemed wrong and we had to do another)

OP posts:
SVJAA · 29/12/2016 19:10

I'm actually staggered at how rude they are. There have been so many threads since Christmas about not liking gifts, wanting more/something different. It's just fucking rude.
If someone buys you a gift, you smile and say thank you. If said gift is no use to you, or not to your taste, give it to charity or to someone who will get use out of it.
People being rude and ungrateful disgust me.

PuppyMonkey · 29/12/2016 19:10

The relative was offended on behalf of the couple? Grin

Come on OP what did you buy?

PuppyMonkey · 29/12/2016 19:12

Cross posted - the novelty house sounds... Erm... Interesting.

Original poster
Apfelbunny · 29/12/2016 19:13

"Be a useful"? Stupid phone, meant to say "because"

OP posts:
Original poster
Apfelbunny · 29/12/2016 19:14

It was a cardboard castle. Gave one to my sister too and she loved it, spent all afternoon with her daughter and my 3yr old colouring it in

OP posts:
MsGameandWatch · 29/12/2016 19:14

I'd think they were crap presents too to be honest but I would never say so, to you or any other family member.

HecAteAllTheXmasPud · 29/12/2016 19:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Janey50 · 29/12/2016 19:21

A card you sent them got intercepted and the wording was deemed wrong?!!!! WTAF?! I am absolutely staggered at this 'gem'. Who the hell is this person,who thinks it is their duty to 'approve' of Christmas cards,and get offended on other people's behalf about their presents?