Annoying comment about newborn twins - witty comebacks or let it go?

[possum18]

I have 14 week old twin boys, when we are out and about it is non stop having people stop us to chat or little comments and questions, absolutely fine! A few other twin mums say they get a lot of people stopping them with the old 'double trouble' type comment, But I've also been having what I think are really rude comments and questions from people and it really boils my piss in general it's 'I couldn't think of anything worse' but this morning a man in waitrose stopped me, looked in the buggy and said that twins would be his absolute worst nightmare and he'd 'kill himself' if he ever had any.

I know I'm probably in new mum sensitive mode, and it took such a long time to fall pregnant I'm so pleased to have one baby let alone none. People should just think before they speak.

I bit my tongue and walked on but it's really wound me up.
WWYD - witty sarcastic comment or just leave it?

Classic MN line "Did you mean to be so rude?"

Your baby is beautiful, OP!

Tell you what, I'll do you a favour and take Lewis off your hands and then you won't have to deal with any more stupid questions.

Deal?

He's adorable.

Sorry Mackerel they are kind of a package deal, With Lewis comes Noah

Aww look at your beautiful boys!

No help really. I can't believe anyone would be so crass as to actually say something like that to you (I mean, I believe you, I just don't get what drives some people!) - just so rude!

I think the standard "Did you mean to be so rude?" has to be your best option when comments like that start up; or possibly "I'm SO glad you're not my husband then" and walk away.

As for the rest, yes, just nod and smile. Twins in my family have always got the "double trouble" comments etc.; the mums have just smiled and nodded because really, what else can you do?

As with all babies, people feel the need to say something - it's almost never original, it's certainly never clever and it's quite often trite and rude. Really, people should do more nodding and smiling and less talking!

As for people going on about ginger babies - I desperately wanted one, because I have red hair - but no. :( Neither of mine have red hair, although DS2's was gingery when wet as a baby, but now he's older, it's not. I'm disappointed!

I have 6 month old b/g twins, my girl has gorgeous ginger hair

Weirdest comment was when we were at an out of hours doctor and a lady turned round and said she doesn't like children but does like twins?

Lots of double trouble, thought one was bad enough and asking their genders when the boy is in blue and the girl in pink (to try and stop that question, I'm quite shy so don't enjoy the questions)

I usually just ignore/laugh at the comments. Our dt's have so far been much easier than our older dd's.

possum18 It's fine, I can take both!

We had SO Much attention when our twins were babies. We used to joke it was like being a minor celebrity as it was just ridiculous the amount of comments about them and people coming up to us Most of it was positive but I did get a bit fed up of the all the questions. Purposely bought one bright pink and one bright blue cosy toes to avoid the 'what are they' questions but even that didn't always help.

Also used to get followed around shops by teenage girls a fair bit. Interested to see the difference when I have my singleton baby in a few weeks!

AndYourBirdCanSing at what age were your twins when you got less 'attention' (for lack of a better word) with your twins? Good luck with your impending arrival - how exciting for you all

I have not had twins. The only thing I have ever considered doing to a mum of twins is bowing down in awe - I barely left the house with DD for the first 3 months and there was only one of her! But I don't do that because it would be weird and unsettling.

I think twins bring out a certain type of stupidity. My friend had boy/girl twins and used to get asked (by people who knew this) if they were identical

Thanks Possum. I think it was by the time they were 2ish that it started to die down but the first year was unbelievable. Endless comments and questions. They get no attention from outsiders now at 5

Oh and yes we had the identical questions a lot. I think I ended up offending someone when I finally asked them to think about what the definition of the word 'identical' actually is when my answer 'no they're boy/girl twins' failed to register. And the 'are they natural' questions. We didn't have IVF but I know quite a few twin mums who did, and it pissed them off no end. Rather intrusive isn't it!

Your twins are super gorgeous by the way

What gorgeous boys possum, congratulations.

With our twins I always tried to respond to "double trouble" coments with a smile and a "double the love" response.

The only thing that really helped to stop unwanted comments was a massive sun shade over the double buggy - made it less obvious that there were two little ones in the pushchair and I'd not get random people stopping me by standing right in front and blocking my way, just so they could comment / touch my babies / express their unsolicited opinion...

Also helped babies to fall asleep on our daily nap time walks.

Can't help with the comments although I generally think people are just reacting to something less usual and don't think before they speak but posted because Lewis and Noah are so cute!

Wanders off, feeling broody.

For the "I'd kill myself comment" I'd reply with '"don't let me stop you" - what an ignorant thing to say to someone with babies. I tend to come up with my best retorts on the spot.

I've also had the ginger comments about my daughter from people who think they're being funny. I've spent her entire life telling her how jealous I am and how beautiful her hair colour is as I know as soon as she hits high school all the carrot top comments will come. Worse for her tho is the number of old women who think they can walk up to her and touch her hair. It is a beautiful copper colour and being Scottish means everyone and their dog wants to say something about it. She's nearly 7 and gets very uncomfortable with strangers touching her hair everywhere she goes.

Aww thank you all, I think they are pretty cute too :)
I get asked the IVF question a lot too, which I always find a bit odd as I'm early twenties. Also a lot of 'did you plan to have twins' which I wasn't really aware could be possible and lots of very very personal questions about the birth

BloopB

BloopBleep i would get so annoyed with people touching my children?! It is just so odd to me. Whenever I've seen a baby or cute child I always have a mental 'aww' or maybe even a nice comment to whomever I am with but I have never approached a stranger to pass comment on their baby, let alone start up an inquisition or touch a strangers child.

It is annoying and just a bit creepy. Recently we were on an escalator and a woman started whispering to my dd. I turned round to ask if I could help and was told No then she started whispering in my dd's ear again, right up close. Dd gave me her 'this is too weird look' which the woman saw and I said I thought she felt uncomfortable and moved her, to which I was told "nonsense". My response was less than pleasant (think two short sharp words involving copulation and dismount)

Aww they are lovely.

Maybe you could just reply BOG-OFF leaving it for the other person to wonder if you are agreeing 'yes, twins, hahahaha' or if you are telling them to shove it?

the one that used to drive me bonkers was "Are they natural?" Mind your own bloody business, you wouldn't ask a singleton parent that!

I have a colleague who's a twin - she's got a twin brother - and she doesn't even answer when people ask if they're identical. She just waits, patiently, for the penny to drop...