Email from DP's ex

[spinningchair]

So I received an email at work from DP's ex saying that she has some messages from him that I "should see". Nothing else, just a one liner.

We are not friends, we have never been friends and I haven't seen her for years as she lives in another city, and DP does all the collections and drop offs with ex. She had my email address from years ago when I sent her directions to something that she was dropping her DD off at.

I'm tempted to ignore her, she's a nasty bit of work, and has been provoked (I guess) by recent discussions about sharing childcare and money (not going in her favour), and could well just be being nasty and trying to stir up trouble.

The trouble is that there is history - DP has cheated on me with her before (once a long time ago. We broke up as a result and were apart for a year or so before starting a better relationship, which is going well). So as much as I'd like to just shrug this off as her trying to cause trouble, it makes me very uneasy, and I'm curious to see what these messages are.

I have asked DP, and he says she's just angry with him about changes to childcare (he has a new job and needs to reduce maintenance slightly), and is trying to cause trouble.

So WWYD? Ignore her, or reply and see what she says?

whether your OH's explaination is true or not, he doesn't come across well either way!

He's flirting with her and lying to you.

She's telling you to cause trouble for him.

Neither of them give a shit about your feelings.

Don't believe the "just winding her up" story, he was planning to screw her if she was up for it.

You will end up with him hurting you a lot, so be very wary OP.

Are you tied to this man in any way OP? Child, property, joint finances etc.

Be very careful. Whatever the real reason for those messages, he's not acting with integrity or respect for either of you.

You BOTH know this man. Don't both be idiots. He's a player and you are his game. How bloody ridiculous. And totally vile of him.

The ex sounds extremely manipulative- she knows exactly how to be spiteful, why sens someone a 'taunting' message ''I have an email you should see'' gives her all the power.
IF she really did have an email she thought you ought to see, why didn't she send it?

But as your DH has cheated once, I funny understand your worries- no one likes to be taken for a fool.

Horrible situation to be in- but even if she sends emails, howdo you know they are true?

Damn! I should have previewed. ''Fully understand'' not funny understand.. sorry.

There is a game. It's between those two and you're the mug in the middle.

Are you okay OP?

You would be a fool to stick around after this.

He's playing you.

Absolute bollocks!

He has zero respect for you. Get rid.

Sorry OP. Only you can choose to believe him or not, I have heard of people sending flirty messages in the past to get an ego boost so I guess it is possible to believe but it's still not nice at all and he shouldn't be sending any OW any flirty messages. Really feel for you it's such a shit feeling. Personally I would get rid because he's taking the piss whichever way you look at it but it's easier said than done.

I'd be interested to know what the ex's replies were..and whether she "played along"
I'm a nosy beggar

Bloody hell OP, do you really believe that?! Wow.