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Original poster

Email from DP's ex

65 replies

spinningchair · 11/05/2016 13:05

So I received an email at work from DP's ex saying that she has some messages from him that I "should see". Nothing else, just a one liner.

We are not friends, we have never been friends and I haven't seen her for years as she lives in another city, and DP does all the collections and drop offs with ex. She had my email address from years ago when I sent her directions to something that she was dropping her DD off at.

I'm tempted to ignore her, she's a nasty bit of work, and has been provoked (I guess) by recent discussions about sharing childcare and money (not going in her favour), and could well just be being nasty and trying to stir up trouble.

The trouble is that there is history - DP has cheated on me with her before (once a long time ago. We broke up as a result and were apart for a year or so before starting a better relationship, which is going well). So as much as I'd like to just shrug this off as her trying to cause trouble, it makes me very uneasy, and I'm curious to see what these messages are.

I have asked DP, and he says she's just angry with him about changes to childcare (he has a new job and needs to reduce maintenance slightly), and is trying to cause trouble.

So WWYD? Ignore her, or reply and see what she says?

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 11/05/2016 20:52

I think you were right to ask.

Even if she gets a kick out of it, it would drive you mad not knowing.

WipsGlitter · 11/05/2016 20:58

Could she doctor them at all?

Kn33 · 12/05/2016 15:59

Did you ever get anywhere OP?
Hope it was all a pile of crap Smile

Original poster
spinningchair · 14/05/2016 23:00

It was, and it wasn't. The messages were just flirty stuff. I confronted DP and he says it was just a wind up. He hasn't told me because he knows I don't like nastiness, but apparently he was sending them to her to wind her up. He's a dick. The 'game' apparently was (it's all in the past, even she agrees that) to let her think he was interested so that he could laugh in her face if she ever took him up on it.
I'm definitely going to get slated here for being with such an idiot. And probably some people will think I've been a mug. And it does upset me that he still cares enough to bother winding her up.

OP posts:
neonrainbow · 14/05/2016 23:05

Do you believe him? I wouldn't.

stayathomegardener · 14/05/2016 23:06

I don't think it was a wind up. Sorry.

AliceInUnderpants · 14/05/2016 23:06

Yes, you are being a mug.

Kn33 · 14/05/2016 23:06

I wouldn't be too pleased about that OP Sad
I'd feel like it was just a cover up for the real reason. But that's just me Smile
It's your opinion that matters Smile

winningticketholder · 14/05/2016 23:07

Ditch the loser!

stayathomegardener · 14/05/2016 23:07

What would bother me more is you gave him the heads up and the chance to be straight but no he would rather you have to humiliate yourself asking the ex to send details.

Fourormore · 14/05/2016 23:07

The 'game' apparently was to let her think he was interested so that he could laugh in her face if she ever took him up on it.

Wow, what a catch. I'd dump him just for that.

Janefromdowntheroad · 14/05/2016 23:08

Bullshit X 1000000

ChicRock · 14/05/2016 23:08

He still wants his ex. You're letting him take you for a mug.

heyhulahoop · 14/05/2016 23:13

Lamest excuse ever.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 14/05/2016 23:14

Well, to be honest it doesn't matter which way it is.

A. He still wants her. Get rid.

B. He was pretending to want her so he could laugh at her? He's a complete Ahole and you should get rid of any excuse for a man who thinks such behaviour is ok!

NameChange30 · 14/05/2016 23:17

LTB

notapizzaeater · 14/05/2016 23:20

And that's the best reason he can come up with ? How old is he 13 ?

Arfarfanarf · 14/05/2016 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timelytess · 14/05/2016 23:24

What a pile of crap. He's not 'winding her up', he's trying to get into her pants. She's telling you, not because she wants to support your relationship, but because she wants to feel she's got the upper hand.
They're nasty.
Leave the pair of bastards to it.

theigloohaslanded · 14/05/2016 23:24

Get the fuck out of there. Lies, lies , lies.

OllyBJolly · 14/05/2016 23:25

He's cutting back on his responsibilities to his kids and he thinks it's funny to play games with his ex. And he's already cheated.

What a catch. If you're not going to dump him, please don't have kids with him. Prick.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 14/05/2016 23:30

He seems like a really nasty spiteful person OP.

Sorry.

228agreenend · 14/05/2016 23:35

Wrong, wromg wrong!

He shouldn't be flirting with anyone, ex or any other woman.

Especially as he has cheated with her before. He should respect you more, and know it's a No No.

Just5minswithDacre · 14/05/2016 23:36

The 'game' apparently was (it's all in the past, even she agrees that) to let her think he was interested so that he could laugh in her face if she ever took him up on it.
I'm definitely going to get slated here for being with such an idiot. And probably some people will think I've been a mug. And it does upset me that he still cares enough to bother winding her up

That seems more likely to you than the idea that he was just plain flirting with her'?

Why would he risk your relationship, given the history?

Just5minswithDacre · 14/05/2016 23:38

He's not 'winding her up', he's trying to get into her pants. She's telling you, not because she wants to support your relationship, but because she wants to feel she's got the upper hand.

Or because she wants to stop him from doing it.

Or maybe because she does feel bad for OP (people aren't usually either devils or angels.)