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Original poster

Suddenly no one will talk to me

101 replies

Realitea · 08/08/2015 08:30

I live in a tiny close knit town. Great if you like a sense of community but not great when someone turns against you.
Suddenly everyone in my local shop aren't talking to me. They look away if I see them in the street whereas we used to talk.
I know I should rise above it and I'm a real wimp when it comes to confrontation.
I overheard one lady in the shop yesterday say something about me when she thought I'd left (but I was actually loitering around the exit!)
I couldn't quite make out what she said.
This is driving me nuts now. I feel like I can't go there anymore.
How does this happen with adults?

OP posts:
Original poster
Realitea · 08/08/2015 11:06

Sod it I just won't go there again.
This woman is always making me and many others feel like they shouldn't be there, tutting, having a go at you if you go near closing time, sighing and rolling her eyes if you ask for anything.
You'd think if they wanted their business to succeed they would be on the customers side. And to expect complaints.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 08/08/2015 11:11

if you don't have to go there then don't go.

but don't try to justify it that bitching about her on FB is the way to go. would you like it if someone did that about you?!

Original poster
Realitea · 08/08/2015 11:16

They probably do. I see your point though. Sometimes in social media you forget that it's all very public. Plenty of people have made that mistake.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 08/08/2015 11:24

I can see your point… but people in retail sometimes vent about customers (I've had to deal with members of the public but not in retail in the past).

Venting on social media is all very well if it's an anonymous company and you won't probably see etc those people again - but in a real life situation where you are likely to bump into these people again? It is very unwise to do this in this case unless you're prepared to deal with the fallout.

You could quite easily like I say either apologise to the woman in question or her manager - maybe a card… and that may calm the waves. But it sounds like you have an axe to grind against her anyway.

It's a lesson learned for you anyway.

Original poster
Realitea · 08/08/2015 11:28

I don't particularly want to apologise to the lady which is probably wrong of me but the weird thing is I didn't mention any names so by me saying 'one of them is very miserable' they've managed to come to the conclusion it's her themselves!

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 08/08/2015 18:46

It obviously bothers you and is a problem but personally, I wouldn't be bothered if grown women decided to stop talking to me rather than say what's bothering them. They are childish. I wouldn't be racking my brains wondering what I had done. I would think they were pathetic and would probably make a point of smiling at then and making small talk so they either had to answer me or blank me,...I would keep doing it, but that's just me Grin

Original poster
Realitea · 08/08/2015 23:38

You sound like my kind of person!
That's exactly what I'm going to do!
I do find it really childish. There's more to life than a local shop. Maybe not to them but there is to me.

OP posts:
ShadowStar · 09/08/2015 00:23

If you didn't mention any names, then might there be some doubt as to which lady you were talking about?

Obviously you know who you were referring to, but if one or more of the others had been having a bad day and was more grumpy than normal the last time they remember seeing you before this all blew up, is it possible that they might think you were talking about them instead of the always grumpy lady?

Houseworkavoider · 09/08/2015 00:38

Do you know what?
Fuck 'em!
Seriously. If they're rude and miserable then stuff her and her muppets.

  • disclaimer. I've had a couple Wine and live in a V. Small village Smile
Lillamyy1 · 09/08/2015 05:05

I totally agree with the pp. that woman sounds dreadful, and if she's going to be so rude to customers, what does she expect? The whole lot of them sound pathetic blanking you - what adults behave like that?! I'd just stop going to that shop. They don't deserve your business, or an apology imho.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 09/08/2015 05:19

Just hold your head high and shop somewhere else

Babalusca · 09/08/2015 05:43

I can't see that you have anything to apologise about. It would be very perverse if you were to apologise to these people. They are the ones who should apologise. What kind of message would they get if you were to apologise? It is okay to be rude and then to bully those who call you out on your rudeness?

It is a business place and you are not her friend. Perfectly fine in my book to expose the store and her publicly. They need to be shamed for this appalling customer service. You did not mention her name so they are well aware of the problem and choose to do nothing about it. How else did they conclude that she is the one you are referring to? Did they assume you were referring to any one of them? I doubt it. They know who needs to apologise and it's not you.

KenDoddsDadsDog · 09/08/2015 06:51

Is it a local shop for local people ?
Use the other one.

Atenco · 09/08/2015 07:04

I can't see that you have anything to apologise about
This

I know it is sometimes hard to find a job, but if you take a job dealing with the public, you should be nice to the public and if, as a company, you are quite happy to employ antisocial types for customer service, you can't complain about people taking their custom elsewhere.

weaselwords · 09/08/2015 07:16

I would NOT give my money to people who treated me like that! Who on earth do they think they are? I'd go to the other shop.

Original poster
Realitea · 09/08/2015 13:47

Yay for sabotage!
I'm not going there anymore
It IS a local shop for local people!

They know it's a problem because they knew exactly who I was referring to. Says it all.

OP posts:
Sandbrook · 09/08/2015 14:42

I agree with Babalusca. Companies use social media now. Complaining is part and parcel. They get the good with the bad.
No apologies necessary from you. Go back there with head held high. And if their attitude and service does not improve, go elsewhere

Hellionandfriends · 09/08/2015 14:47

You've done nothing wrong. They are providing poor customer service. Instead the manager should have apologised to you directly

Hellionandfriends · 09/08/2015 14:48

Yes hold your head high. They obviously know the woman's poor service is an issue and are being defensive instead of professional

Vatersay · 09/08/2015 14:53

Erm, just a small point. It won't only be the shop workers who will be judging you. It will be their friends and family too.

If you live in a small village you've really shot yourself in the foot socially. Even people who agree that the person concerned is rude will think it was unkind and frankly unnecessary to bitch about her on a public forum.

I'd recommend mending some fences before it spreads.

Hellionandfriends · 09/08/2015 15:01

You will be one of many people receiving shitty shop service. There will be lots of people thankful you spoke up. And you kept it brief and factual!

I bet this woman is bloody awful to old dears and small children too.

Hellionandfriends · 09/08/2015 15:02

I wouldn't consider stating facts on a forum as bitching.

SuperFlyHigh · 09/08/2015 15:06

Vatersay that's what I was getting at - news travels fast and you don't want to be known as the person who complained on social media.

Fine if you choose to go elsewhere but don't expect welcome from this shop and the employees (yes ok they're in the wrong).

I still feel also if you wanted to complain the manager or the head office would be the correct way to go.

Vatersay · 09/08/2015 18:00

Hellion not facts, opinions.

Hellionandfriends · 09/08/2015 18:13

Rolling eyes, tutting, sighing etc are all events.