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Original poster

Lazy husband

36 replies

thoughtsbecomethings · 31/03/2015 15:36

My Dh has been off on holiday for nearly 2 weeks and has done absolutely nothing apart from walk the dog once s day. I have tried to discuss this but as usual there really is no response it's really peeing me off now. What does your Dh do when off on holiday ??

OP posts:
gymboywalton · 31/03/2015 15:37

he's only ever on holiday at the same time as me usually and he joins me in doing whatever needs doing.

Normal4Norfolk · 31/03/2015 15:51

My DH will do the same as he usually does, but with more daytime tidying going on and dressing the DCs. We take it in turns to be responsible for the kitchen each day, holiday or not. I do mine and the DCs washing, he does his own, holiday or not. The bathroom will get a wipe around by one of us when it gets really mucky, holiday or not. So holidays aren't much different. I'm a SAHM to 2 preschoolers, not a housewife. House stuff is joint responsibility as far as I'm concerned.

I take it your DH think he's having his well-deserved rest? In which case, perhaps you should book your own 'holiday' and leave him to it for a few days?

pictish · 31/03/2015 15:54

Whatever needs doing...he's not a lazy arse.
Why do you put up with it? What possible explanation can he have for doing absolutely nothing at all?

AlternativeTentacles · 31/03/2015 16:03

He works through the list on the whiteboard that I leave him.

Anotheronesoon · 31/03/2015 16:05

My dh was off last week and he did all the night wake ups for our baby and toddler and gave me lie ins ( I'm on mat leave) I do have a gem though Grin

Magmatic80 · 31/03/2015 16:06

He notices things that need doing and does them. On Tuesday he cleaned the oven!!! Was amazed and massively grateful as it's a job I've been thinking about for over a year...

Original poster
thoughtsbecomethings · 31/03/2015 18:52

Not sure if he's just getting older or depressed. He's so hard to talk to and gets really defensive and then I clam up and seethe about it to myself Hmm

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 31/03/2015 18:58

Holidays for both of us are split between what needs doing around the house and garden and fun stuff we'd like to do. We share chores equally then negotiate our own time for activities that we want to do. You need to speak to him. Are you being left with all the dull house stuff?

Normal4Norfolk · 31/03/2015 19:21

Have you tried giving him a list / firm instructions / bucket & mop? You know these DHs don't always have full use of their own initiative.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 31/03/2015 19:25

Mine only really takes holiday when we can both be off and do things together. We usually do what needs doing as quickly as possible so we can do fun things the rest of the time. However he took last Friday off as we were moving house and our previous rental needed a full clean, which he did while I stayed out of the way with our toddler.

Original poster
thoughtsbecomethings · 31/03/2015 19:26

I do most of the general house, garden, animals, cars,kids actually ever bloody thing
I have tried writing a list but it pisses me off that I have to write it with such clear instructions.

OP posts:
peggyundercrackers · 31/03/2015 19:34

Normal4norfolk really? If someone gave me a list and a bucket/mop they would find the mop stuck up their arse with the bucket firmly on their head.

My Dh goes and does what he wants as he gets more leave than me so gets quite a bit of time off on his own. I'm not his keeper nor do I control what he does - he's an adult and can do what he wants to do on his leave.

Normal4Norfolk · 31/03/2015 19:40

Yes peggy, I mean really. This is a man who has been sitting on his arse for 2 weeks and won't discuss the matter with OP. It sounds as though he could do with a bit of a nudge.

GotToBeInItToWinIt · 31/03/2015 19:54

Haha. I know where the mop handle would end up if someone handed one to me with a list of jobs too!
OP do you get any holiday time to yourself?

peggyundercrackers · 31/03/2015 20:03

Normal maybe he works hard and is knackered and just wants a bit of piece and quiet to rest and recover while he on HOLIDAY... And all he thinks is OP is nagging him.

slightlyconfused85 · 31/03/2015 20:12

Diy mostly! Gives me the odd lie in although im not that big a fan. Plays with Dd or takes her out. Otherwise we all hang out together Smile

Original poster
thoughtsbecomethings · 31/03/2015 20:12

Peggy he may work hard but so do I and I don't think wanting him to help out around the house etc is nagging is it ??

OP posts:
AlternativeTentacles · 31/03/2015 21:20

I don't think wanting him to help out around the house etc is nagging is it ??

Try not to think of it as 'helping' around the house and more about him doing his share in the house. Helping infers it is your job and he helps...doing his share means you share the responsibility fairly.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 31/03/2015 21:24

Does he not help around the house generally? Like, when he is not on Annual Leave?

Original poster
thoughtsbecomethings · 31/03/2015 21:26

He does very little to help out whether at work or not.

OP posts:
Jessica2point0 · 31/03/2015 23:15

Why is it 'helping out' rather than 'doing his fair share'?

Original poster
thoughtsbecomethings · 31/03/2015 23:19

I guess that's just how it feels

OP posts:
Jux · 31/03/2015 23:37

Present him with a bill for your services.

Childcare - number of hours, ££££
Chauffeuring - number of hours, ££££
Housekeeping - number of hours, ££££
Laundering - number of hours, ££££
Animal care - number of hours, ££££
Etc etc etc
TOTAL ££££

Find out how much he's saving by you doing it all, then ask for half the total as you're doing his share. Every week.

Jessica2point0 · 01/04/2015 08:21

It sounds like you need to have a serious talk about how you split the household stuff. Him taking two weeks off to sit around all day while you continue to do everything at home is just not on.

Fairylea · 01/04/2015 08:24

He is being an arse. If he lived alone he'd have to do some cooking and cleaning and general chores even during a holiday just to survive! He's being totally lazy. Of course he should be doing more.

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