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Original poster

Having an affair with my ex from 15 years Ago

37 replies

sadalot · 21/03/2015 00:33

I've been having an affair for 6 months with my ex. I found him on fb. I've lost 3 1/2 stone in this affair and I can't leave my husband . My ex tells me he wants to keep things casual ! What the hell does this mean ?

OP posts:
fairgame · 21/03/2015 12:39

It means he just wants to keep sleeping with you with no commitment.
This will not end well at all, i would get out now before you get in any deeper.

sparing · 21/03/2015 12:40

It means he wants to fuck you but doesn't want to be with you.

End it.

lunar1 · 21/03/2015 12:41

It means you are cheating on your husband, what else would it mean?

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Relationship problems
Quitelikely · 21/03/2015 12:45

It means he is using you for sex and is not interested in any sort of relationship.

NerrSnerr · 21/03/2015 12:47

Of course it means he wants to keep fucking you without any commitment. Is he married too?

balia · 21/03/2015 12:48

You know what it means, love. Not clear why your weight is relevant, or why you can't leave your husband. But something to consider. Your ex now knows you are a cheat and a liar. I wonder why he might not want to commit to anything serious with you. It's a puzzle, it really is.

Finola1step · 21/03/2015 12:51

You have risked your marraige for someone who simply wants a fuck buddy.

So the key question is: Why are you cheating on your husband?

Discounted · 21/03/2015 12:51

When you're in it, nothing seems as black and white as the posters above suggest, but you know they're right....

MummyBtothree · 21/03/2015 17:46

He wants the sex but thats it basically. wouldnt make me feel very special to be honest.

Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 19:11

I know guys he just wants sex, but maybe I do too. I don't have a good relationship with my husband, he cheated on me twice in the last 12 years . My ex makes me feel alive , feel sexy . I know I need to end this but I'm addicted. He was the first man I ever loved , I was devastated when I ended this relationship the first time . I had a termination behind his back . We still don't talk about this issue 15 years on. We talk , laugh all the time and I don't want to fall in love with him. He is married too

OP posts:
Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 19:12

Before he came back on the scene I felt empty inside

OP posts:
fairgame · 21/03/2015 19:15

He's married as well?! What a mess!
Why are you still with your husband if you have both cheated on each other? If neither of you can stay faithful then why don't you make a clean break and go your separate ways rather than lying and cheating. Your relationship with your husband is not going to get any better while you are sleeping with another man.

AuntieStella · 21/03/2015 19:15

Sounds like you're fed up with DH, so deal with your marriage first.

OM sounds all wrong for you too.

You can choose to get off this path.

Can you move out somewhere, see neither man for a while and work out what you really want?

Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 19:20

It is a mess , I think hubby suspects anyway. The OM is so wrong for me but gets me . I forgave my husband for the sake of the kids

OP posts:
sparing · 21/03/2015 20:00

Grow up, and get some self respect while you do it

Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 20:08

You sound like my bf , she says the exact thing

OP posts:
sparing · 21/03/2015 20:34

Sensible girl.

Why haven't you listened to her?

Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 22:39

When it comes to him , all logic goes out of the window .

OP posts:
Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 22:41

He lives near where I work , he pops in to see without telling me first .

OP posts:
MummyBtothree · 21/03/2015 22:49

Showing you some attention makes you feel sexy, alive and good about yourself but its only because you were obviously feeling crap in the first place. In reality it should make you feel anything but sexy or good cos he only wants to use you for sex cos its offered, eventually you will realise that and feel anything but good about yourself. Take away the sex and would he still have that affect on you or want to know you?.

Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 22:54

I think he would still want my company and friendship .

OP posts:
Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 22:56

I was feeling really low before we started seeing each other . It's true I can't do this crap any more

OP posts:
FanFuckingTastic · 21/03/2015 22:59

My mum lived with a cheater, and had affairs later on when she was so unhappy with staying for the kids that she had to do something. It really affected our relationship as the fighting between my parents was really unpleasant. Also, when the men she was with had a partner, there was the added unpleasantness of having to hear what they had to say about it too.

I got assaulted as a teenager by someone who disapproved of my mum's activities, because I was more accessible and naive.

Mum was so much happier single when she finally left my dad, and the married man she had an affair with, who left his wife also to be with my mum.

There just wasn't all that hassle in her life. She could focus on herself. She got an education. She made her home nice. She met men without the drama.

I really don't think you are dealing with your issues in the best way.

Original poster
sadalot · 21/03/2015 23:11

Me and the OM have too many issues with our insecurities and trust issues

OP posts:
Shinyshoes2 · 21/03/2015 23:18

Oh ffs grow up and leave your husband
He cheated , you're cheating . Why on Earth are you together
Don't say its for the children as you don't give a shit , you're breaking up their 'happy ' home because you're in the sack with another man
All I get from your post is me me me self self self

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