Having an affair with my ex from 15 years Ago

[sadalot]

I've been having an affair for 6 months with my ex. I found him on fb. I've lost 3 1/2 stone in this affair and I can't leave my husband . My ex tells me he wants to keep things casual ! What the hell does this mean ?

You need to make yourself feel better and not be needy to the attention of men. Just cos a guy shows you some attention you shouldnt depend on that to feel happy & good about yourself. Its also false flattery, Would he honestly leave his wife for you?. If youre offering sex on a platter the chances are thats all he views about you and actually probably thinks alot less of you than you perceive. It makes you feel special whereas eventually when you realise if its just the sex hes using you for you are gonna feel shittier than ever.

No only until recently have I started to give a damn about myself . Before it was only about the kids and keeping up a fake marriage

Is it still making you feel attractive & good? (not judging, been in your shoes) x

You and this guy could never have a proper relationship as there would never be trust, and for good reason because of your circumstances. You would both forever be thinking the other is being unfaithful as you both have shown each other you are capable of it.

Leave both the bastards.

It means he likes to have sex with you, but doesn't like much else.

OP you really are not doing your children any favours by risking your marriage like this. If you want to stay together for the their sake then why are you risking that option being taken away from you?

My husband is a good and loyal dad but a waste of space husband. I have decided to end things with OM, because he plays mind games and I don't need this shit. I don't think i will ever fall in love again , when men see me they just see sex not love. I do respect myself , I have plenty of men asking me out but I know all they want is sex , that's why I don't go out with any of them

You sound really low. You say alot of men ask you out, where do you meet them as a married woman. What makes your husband a crap husband? xx

Bad husbands do not make good fathers OP. One of the most important lessons we pass on to her children is how relationships work. Your children are likely to think that your relationship is normal. They don't know anything different so they will accept what you both accept.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that a man who looks after his own children or plays with them or feeds them is anything special. That is basic care, one that a childminder could provide. Being a parent is so much more than that.

You are not good role models together but you can be when you are apart. How you treat others and how you let others treat you is more important than existing together in the same house. Your children need more than that.

You don't go out with the other men because U know they just want sex? Not because you are married with kids?

Women like you are scum. You are potentially playing a part in destroying not only your own kids' lives but also the kids of the other man. And his wife's life also.

Don't sit there and try and justify yourself because you forgave your cheating husband. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

If all men see you as is for sex not love or relationships then you must put that signal out, eg a pushover. You treat your husband like dirt and you think thats attractive to any other man? if you are getting alot of propositions from various men it sounds like you are getting a reputation for yourself as an easy lay.