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Original poster

So if you'd been summoned by the headteacher.......

62 replies

JugglingLife · 13/03/2015 14:52

Would you a) panic shit, what have they/I done
B) be all pious and presume the absolute best of your DC's
C) think it must be good news -do feel free to share good news summons with me! give me some fucking hope please

OP posts:

spiderlight · 13/03/2015 17:50

The fact that you are beating yourself up so much about this speaks volumes - you obviously care a great deal and are taking steps to rectify the situation and they deleted the account before any actual harm was done, so don't give yourself too hard a time!

Original poster

JugglingLife · 13/03/2015 17:54

Isn't it ironic that you lovely people are giving me all the advice that I would also give. I'm sure once I've had the first bottle of , it will all seem a little less bleak. We've been at the school for years and know all if the teachers so well and they are all so very lovely.

OP posts:

BrowersBlues · 13/03/2015 18:36

The school will have seen a lot worse. They won't judge you. I am sure they are lovely people but believe me if they are parents they are facing the same issues in their own home. Its always easier to give advice.

Enjoy your evening and put this behind you and move on. You have addressed the situation and you don't need to keep repeating it. Its over now.

I wouldn't under estimate the hormonal issues your DD is experiencing. Young girls are experiencing this earlier and the issues are very real. My DC are 18 and 16 and if I knew back then what I know now things would not have gone so awry. Even though your DD is 11 she is a pre-teen and is exhibiting a lot of very real teenage behaviour.

One of the best insights into teenagers and pre-teens that I ever got was in Suzanne Franks' book - Get out of my life but first take me and Alex into town. It changed the way that I communicated with my teenagers and I wish I had done it sooner.

The best thing you can do is to show your DD that you respect her by explaining why you were so concerned and telling her that you trust her not to make the same mistake again. She will love that you are treating her as a 'young adult'. If you go down this route the issue won't become about you haranguing her endlessly but about showing her that she is becoming a young adult and can articulate her feelings calmly.

I WISH I KNEW BACK THEN WHAT I KNOW NOW!!!

thenextday · 13/03/2015 18:41

And you know OP....there'll be lots of people reading this who will be thinking maybe its time to have a little chat with own dcs.
Have a glass of wine. Or two.

youarekiddingme · 13/03/2015 18:45

She's overstepped the mark. She'll be punished and hopefully will learn not to do it again.

It doesn't make her a bad person. Just a young girl who made a mistake.

I'm a great believer in we learn by our mistakes.

I like your solution of a monthly ban and talking to her about online safety before its reinstated.

Enjoy the .

Original poster

JugglingLife · 13/03/2015 18:58

Thank you again, if others can learn then that is one of the beauties of mumsnet I think. There we all go by the grace of god. Right, I officially now end this pity party. Cheers everyone. Very unmumsnetty hugs to all.

OP posts:

Holepunch · 14/03/2015 07:41

Well done Juggling. All the school will have been hoping for is that you support their action, which you've done and some. It's tough when you "know" you shouldn't allow certain age inappropriate things but everyone else is allowing it....I do think some tough action is required, as you've decided, otherwise the main message will be yes, it was stupid but no harm was done/meant.

FWIW my Dad was talking about parenting last night. There's a very insignificant thing (to do with hair washing!) that I do the same way my parents did, but my DSis feels strongly should be done differently. Dad, now in his 70s and IMO a fantastic parent and grandparent was lamenting that he still hasn't found the instruction book....

Original poster

JugglingLife · 14/03/2015 08:19

Thanks hole. All feeling much better today. She has just deleted her account (under supervision), which she asked to do.because she didn't want me stalking it. In spite of all she is an adorable little minx.

OP posts:

ThatBloodyWoman · 14/03/2015 08:31

Oh Juggling

Personally I think she's made an error of judgement.I would be far more concerned with her understanding in far greater depth about why what she has done is wrong,and why the internet is such an unforgiving and potentially dangerous place,than a punishment.

Georgethesecond · 14/03/2015 08:38

Make sure she doesn't set up a new account in a false name, OP. Her technical ability is far ahead of her understanding of consequences. It's a difficult age. Well actually all ages are difficult from now on

TheHappyCamper · 14/03/2015 09:30

Glad things have calmed down juggling. Hope the helped you get some sleep.

Remember, kids do far worse than your dd has done; they are learning and will make mistakes. It's our job to guide them through it all - as you say, a VERY difficult job!

Chin up

BernadetteMatthews · 14/03/2015 09:42

Oh dear. I'm so grateful that we didn't have texts and Facebook when I was at school. I would have been constantly in trouble.

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