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Original poster

a lovely invite

40 replies

ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:12

just been invited through a friend for a night out to meet some new people, which I'd love to do.

only problem is it's to go and eat curry. I can't eat curry. more precisely I can but since I had my gallbladder out 3 months ago I have trouble with the digestion and "after party" of certain foods and drinks so basically I'm likely to feel sick, stomach cramps or have diarrhoea (or all) the next daySad

I don't know what to do. I can't go and not eat.
I don't want to be fussing about what I eat at a new place with new people, but I will probably have to which makes me panicky already.
I can't just choose "something" and I really don't want to explain why this is a problem to complete strangers face to face
(It's ok here, you're my peeps!Grin )

I don't think I can say "ooh sorry can't eat curry, can we choose elsewhere"

what do I do?
I can I could ask where we are going and check the menu ahead, but even that feels like "I'm being difficult"

what should I do?
my gut instinct is to just not go, because it's saves explaning or feeling anxious. but I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, I'm so chuffed to be invited!
And I want to go! and I want to get to know people (we moved here last May so would be great to socalise locally).
DH offered to look after kids so if it was any other place (pub, Italian, Chinese, a home party etc) I would've said yes in a heartbeat.

aaarrrgghhh.
what would you do?

OP posts:
NeedaDiscoNap · 15/01/2015 12:15

All Indian restaurants have a 'European' section on their menu - could you not have something from that?

Also, I don't see the issue with checking the menu ahead - if you don't want to reveal your real reason, make a joke of it and say you're fussy or something.

iklboo · 15/01/2015 12:17

Not everyone likes curry. I'm sure they'll be fine if you chose one of the other dishes from the menu. I'd also be fine with you asking where we were going so you could check the menu - you could even say it's for budget reasons.

BiancaDelRio · 15/01/2015 12:17

Get a grip, say yes and look up the menu online.

Nearly all Indian restaurants have a chicken and chips section.

Go and enjoy yourself!

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dinkystinky · 15/01/2015 12:18

Be honest - say you'd love to come but, without wanting to be difficult, spicy food is abit difficult for you - is it possible to know where its going to be so you can check the menu or can you come along and meet for drinks?

PrincessOfChina · 15/01/2015 12:18

I'd go for something like boiled rice with some kind of low spice chicken.

SolomanDaisy · 15/01/2015 12:18

Lots of Indian restaurants have very similar menus, so it should be easy to plan in advance. Is it the spices or the fat that's a problem? You could order plain rice and a chicken kebab type thing maybe. If anyone asks questions you can say you're still on a January health kick.

Tollygunge · 15/01/2015 12:19

Have chapattis, boiled rice and sag aloo. Yummmm

iklboo · 15/01/2015 12:19

It's not like one bite if chicken tikka & you turn into the game show host from Father Ted. Or is it?? Wink

WowOoo · 15/01/2015 12:20

There will be some non spice and rich options. My kids used to until they became brave consumers of 'medium' hot!

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/01/2015 12:21

Have a look for the menu online (or can you pop in?) before deciding. Lots of people don't like curry, they nearly always have omelette and chips or similar.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 15/01/2015 12:23

Sorry, you didn't know the venue yet. I'd just ask and say you need to check the menu because of dietary requirements.

Original poster
ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:25

Soloman

it's both

and going for drinks is not my thing, I don't drink alcohol

OP posts:
Original poster
ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:25

I don't know Father TedBlush

OP posts:
magimedi · 15/01/2015 12:25

I'd ring the restaurant & see what non Indian food they have on the menu & if they don't ask if they can do you an omlette.

I don't think I've ever been to an Indian that didn't have a few non spicy things on th emenu.

BitOutOfPractice · 15/01/2015 12:26

Two things, order something non-curry off the menu

and second, are you sure you should still be feeling like this after a gallbladder op? I think you need to get checked out

MorrisZapp · 15/01/2015 12:29

Calm down lass. It is entirely normal to ask which restaurant you're going to, in fact it would be odd not to. How
Else wwould you get there?

Unless it's a very niche Indian restaurant they'll have heaps of non spicy stuff. I hate curry but always have plenty of choice in Indian restaurants. Even if the choices look a bit borderline, you can always have a little word with the waiter.

Absolute worst case is you nibble chapatis and enjoy some great company. Enjoy!

MorrisZapp · 15/01/2015 12:31

Oh and nobody expects you to give chapter and verse on your health issues. If need be just say curry doesn't agree with you. You're not alone in that!

iklboo · 15/01/2015 12:33

Sorry Zing - character is given a small sherry after giving up for years. One sip & he turns into a raving monster, rampaging over the fields with his wig all askew.

HSMMaCM · 15/01/2015 12:34

Say yes, where are we going and then phone to check other options. Ours does omelettes and other stuff.

MorrisZapp · 15/01/2015 12:34

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU

zzzzz · 15/01/2015 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iklboo · 15/01/2015 12:37

Our local one does steak, roast chicken, scampi, omelettes etc.

Or could you order a few small non-spicy starters - kind of tapas style - with chapatis or a nan?

claraschu · 15/01/2015 12:38

Don't miss out on a nice evening for something which doesn't have to be a problem. Plain rice isn't exciting, but it won't hurt you. A mild dhal is not spicy and shouldn't be too oily either, or you can have the inevitable omelette.

iklboo · 15/01/2015 12:39

I bet you could ask them to make you a plain chicken kebab with rice, salad or breads. They're usually very happy to accommodate customers.

Original poster
ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:40

Bit

unfortunately it's expected.
a lot of people are ok, but some have trouble for various levels of different problems, for individual lenghts of time.
my aunt had it done when she was 21, the first year was horrible, even fat free foods gave her the runs within 20 mins of eating.
she couldn't tolerate dairy either.
30 odd years on she can now consume hot chocolate or some chips for example but cheese on toast would still affect her badly.

it's all fairly new to me and I haven't quite figured out what I can and can't eat exactly and so I just want to be careful
(also I had a nasty bug over Christmas and haven't quite felt right since. I just don't want to feel ill the next day/s)

yes, I will find out where we are going so I can be prepared.

when did I become such a scaredy cat? I used to jump out of planes for a hobby ffs, now I worry about going to a restaurant!Confused

OP posts: