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Original poster

a lovely invite

40 replies

ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:12

just been invited through a friend for a night out to meet some new people, which I'd love to do.

only problem is it's to go and eat curry. I can't eat curry. more precisely I can but since I had my gallbladder out 3 months ago I have trouble with the digestion and "after party" of certain foods and drinks so basically I'm likely to feel sick, stomach cramps or have diarrhoea (or all) the next day

I don't know what to do. I can't go and not eat.
I don't want to be fussing about what I eat at a new place with new people, but I will probably have to which makes me panicky already.
I can't just choose "something" and I really don't want to explain why this is a problem to complete strangers face to face
(It's ok here, you're my peeps! )

I don't think I can say "ooh sorry can't eat curry, can we choose elsewhere"

what do I do?
I can I could ask where we are going and check the menu ahead, but even that feels like "I'm being difficult"

what should I do?
my gut instinct is to just not go, because it's saves explaning or feeling anxious. but I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, I'm so chuffed to be invited!
And I want to go! and I want to get to know people (we moved here last May so would be great to socalise locally).
DH offered to look after kids so if it was any other place (pub, Italian, Chinese, a home party etc) I would've said yes in a heartbeat.

aaarrrgghhh.
what would you do?

OP posts:

ethelb · 15/01/2015 12:40

What can't you eat? Is it the fat? Could you just have a bit of tandorri chicken and a chapatti?

Its what I used to eat in the old Weight Watchers' days when you had to be virtually fat free and that ws actually quite WW friendly.

IvyMay · 15/01/2015 12:40

Do go! As many people have said there may well be an omelette and chips type section. Alternatively you could always just order boiled rice if that's all you can manage - or pilau rice & naan if you can manage something very slightly richer. Or possibly even a vegetable biryani - it's easy to leave the veg curry sauce but the pilau rice and (possible! omelette strips) look like more of a meal.

You will have to explain a tiny bit - but I think just saying "I've had problems with my gall bladder so I can only eat really plain food at the moment" is fine and shouldn't prompt any further questions that you don't want to field. You don't have to get into any detail about after effects!

Good luck!

Original poster

ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:41

ikl

OP posts:

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General health

Bowlersarm · 15/01/2015 12:41

Why can't you just go and have plain rice and a drink? You'll probably find some are doing dry January or driving anyway, so it doesn't exactly matter if you don't like alcohol.

Hullygully · 15/01/2015 12:45

If you are fun and jolly no one will give a shit about what you do or don't eat and drink.

You don't have to explain, just say, oh dreadful bore, stupid gallbladder thing, can only eat X, and then change the subject.

Original poster

ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:46

I haven't be to a restaurant for over a year.
I'll be damned if I eat plain rice or an omelette!

thanks for posts by the way.

OP posts:

Original poster

ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 12:48

Hully

you are coming with me. I need you as my spokes person for awkward topics.
done

And whoever said "of course you have to ask where it is, otherwise how would you get there?" - true!

OP posts:

TrashcanMan · 15/01/2015 12:51

I always check the menu of any restaurant I'm going to, plan what I'm eating and perv over the options. No one will think you're strange if you ask where it is. Have a lovely time!

GritStrength · 15/01/2015 12:52

You need to go. If you don't then you're cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Find out where you're going, look carefully at the menu in advance and I'm sure you'll find something you can eat. Have a line practiced that you can bring out if people ask why you're not on the tikka masala like everyone else, whether it references gall bladder or vaguer reference to health issues that mean you're a bit restricted right now. People are unlikely to probe but if they do you can just tell them that you don't want to be a health bore then immeditaly change the subject.

GritStrength · 15/01/2015 12:55

And it if comes down to it and there is very little on the menu for you, phone up a few days in advance and speak to the manager. THey can probably arrange something special for you if necessary.

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 15/01/2015 12:55

Indians mostly don't drink alcohol. There are usually lots of nice non-alcoholic options like lassi [yoghurt based] or freshly squeezed juices

www.quora.com/What-popular-Indian-dishes-are-non-spicy

This might be useful but it doesn't get you over the fatty food issue. I'd be inclined to accept the invite regardless. Just say that you have some dietary issues so you'd like to have a look at the menu in advance if they can email you a link to the venue.

No one will care or probably even notice if you turn up and only eat plain rice unless you argue about the bill

AimlesslyPurposeful · 15/01/2015 13:26

ZingTheGreat - "I haven't be to a restaurant for over a year.
I'll be damned if I eat plain rice or an omelette!"

But if you don't go because you can't eat the main bulk of what's on the menu but you refuse to eat an alternative then you're going to miss out on what might be a really fun night.

I have ulcerative colitis and during a flare up there's little I can eat. I have been to restaurants and eaten absolutely nothing at all but you wouldn't know it to look at my plate. I just cut food up and move it around the plate. When you're with a group and everyone is talking no one is looking at who is eating what.

I've often asked for omelettes and only once has the chef refused to make me one. Not wanting to make a fuss (At a birthday lunch for a friend) I ordered the cheapest thing on the menu and pushed it around the plate. A bit of a waste of food and money but I had a lovely time with the friend and that's what was important.

Try to see this as a night out with friends rather than a night out at a restaurant and the food becomes less important.

Go and have a great time!

Original poster

ZingTheGreat · 15/01/2015 13:40

DH said he knows which curry place it is, he's been there and loved the food.
it's walking distance so I think I'll go there this Saturday to see the menu and find out what options there are.

As most of you said there must be food choices suitable for me.

and Aimlessly you are right, it is more about the people - but I don't want end up eating plain rice and drinking water when on a very rare night out! and pay the same as others who will eat a proper meal and drink too

OP posts:

cakedup · 02/02/2015 12:45

Several times I've gone out for 'dinner' with friends, but I've eaten before hand and not had anything to eat at the restaurant. I'm a vegan so menu choices are limited. But I'll always go along and nibble on a bit of something, I'm there for the company, not the food. Just say you have food intolerance?

Lozy79 · 04/02/2015 21:27

Ill just say i feel your pain, had my gallbladder out myself 2 months ago. Haven't braved an Indian yet

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