About this last minute change of Christmas list..

[Girlwithnotattoos]

My DS (10) is a massive Father Christmas believer and this is quite likely to be the last time he does . He sent off his Christmas list a few weeks back and other than one large ticket item the other stuff he asked for was very modest. Everything has been bought along with lots of other extras and lots of stocking fillers altogether I've spent around £600 which sounds a lot but we don't have any money issues and I save up all year so that I don't have to dip into our savings - that's just background.

Anyway roll forward to today and he is looking all worried and when I asked him why he said that he's made a mistake with his Santa list and he now really wants an xbox one. We had a chat about how I've sent all the money to Santa for his presents and another £300 would be too much and offered to use the £200 pocket money he's got saved. I've also been given £100 by dh's parents to buy him some things (they can't possibly go shopping) they can give him. Anyway do I:

1. Say it's just too late to add an expensive item to the list and tough he should have chosen more carefully.

Or..

1. Buy it using grandparents contribution and his pocket money, so he gets to realise that money just doesn't grow on trees.

I'm minded to take option 2 whilst DH thinks it should be option 1.

Opinions greatly appreciated.

Can you return the "wrong" big ticket item?

I'd go for 2. If he's saved up the pocket money and this is something he really wants then I'm sure Santa would love a helping hand.

Give him the £100 cash as a present from gp's. Maybe in the form of an opened bank account for him to use as he wishes? Then he can get himself an xbox one in January if he wishes.

I'd go for #2, especially as you say you are comfortable - you are right that it is a good way of gently teaching him that money doesn't grow on trees and if you remain comfortable as a family there may be few good opportunities to do this. I honestly regard it as one of the most useful life skills my parents gave me.

I'd give him the money from his gp as a present so that he can make the decision...

Depends what the other big ticket item is though - if it was something like a playstation where you don't want him to have both then I'd take it back and swap it over. If it's something like a bike or camera that will get used and enjoyed then I'd be much more tempted to let him buy his own game with his xmas money.

What footlight said

What is the "big gift" he wanted previously?

Thanks wise mnetters I've just spoken to DH and he's relented on condition that he puts his pocket money towards it and we use the grandparents contribution as well. It is Christmas and I think it will make his day, he really isn't greedy all the other stiff I've bought is down to me, so maybe I'll surprise him with a game for it too.

I could return the big item but it's a laptop that he's going to need for 'big school' so I don't think I will.

I would see if his grandparents would be ok with him having the cash for Christmas,or opening an account with it and letting him decide whether to buy the Xbox himself.

But I understand your desire for him to have a perfect Santa Christmas so it's up to you,but I would think he should need to know you can't just change your mind,last minute,and get what you want

What was the main present he put on the list? I would be tempted to take it back and get the Xbox but only if you know it isn't a whim that he'll get bored of/wish he had the other present instead after a while

Also not sure that I can return the laptop, DH has set it up with software and parental controls etc. so I think we're stuck with it anyway.

Ah,fair enough. Put the money together for the Xbox then BUT personally,I would give him the £100 for Christmas then let him decide to go with you to buy it himself after Christmas

I could do that trip trap but he then won't have it on Christmas Day...

I would tell him that he has to write another letter to Santa to see what he says.

Then I would give him some of the things you have already bought, from the gp's then use your now spare £100 and get it for him.

A laptop he has to have for school is only a semi present.

I know nothing, less than nothing, about game stuff, but just make sure it's definitely what he wants and not a PS 4.

True and it wouldn't be as magic,but it would be a little lesson and a nice 'grown up' thing for him to do after.

I don't think it makes a giant difference either way though,so up to you and your dh.I'm just glad there has been no slaughtering of you,on here for spending so much on your son for Christmas!(I've spent £500 on ds,always do,and have to keep it to myself...) Oh and definitely buy him a game as a surprise pressie

Hope he and you have a lovely Christmas

Doesn't need it on Christmas Day - he's got a laptop and several £100s of other great presents! Then he can weigh it up when he has his own money.

Good point about the laptop Chipping!

Oh come on RealMary having it on Christmas day is bit where his love and belief in Santa comes in,with it probably being his last year.How could you really deny that

I think that's for the best - but make sure he knows where the £100 came from, and don't give FC the credit. That preserves DH's "you have to ask on time" position too.

I don't mean it in a mean way at all!

It just gives him the choice, which is what I know my DS (also 10 but I suspect non-believer) would prefer.

I wouldn't buy it.

I'd give him the £100 as a gift and he's old enough to work out he could then afford to buy one himself after Christmas. If he doesn't want to spend his own money on it then he can't want it that much!

I'm a total christmas fanatic, go over the Top etc but I think there's got to be a line somewhere!

I know mary and I would do the same as you suggested with giving the 100 as a gift for him to put with his money to buy after Christmas.

But,I think given the way op has mentioned his Santa belief and it probably being his last time,I'm thinking her reason for wanting him to have it on the day is to give him that last magic,iyswim.My response to you was meant to be loggerheads,I apologise if it came across otherwise

Lighthearted not loggerheads!Damon you autocorrect!!!

I'd give him the £100. The worriedness may be he's still not sure, and wants it as all his mates want one.

Ds was 10 last year and used his Christmas money and saved pocket money to get a PS3 .... He loved being able to go and buy such a big ticket item.

And he still got presents from Santa.

I think he'll enjoy buying it himself more than sending his money to Santa.

Personally I think £600 to spend on presents plus a potential further £300 is just crazy. Your child won't appreciate it, it's just spoiling them. Christmas shouldn't be about spending an absolute fortune on gifts. In my experience, buying loads for them, just brings out the absolute worst, (throwing the pressie behind them and shouting for the next!) I think it's better to give less, they value it more and christmas won't become too much about consumerism but more about spending time together. Sorry to judge.

mstumble I for one can tell you that is not always the case and that has nothing to do with the question.

How about people stop commenting on how much people spend?