About this last minute change of Christmas list..

[Girlwithnotattoos]

My DS (10) is a massive Father Christmas believer and this is quite likely to be the last time he does . He sent off his Christmas list a few weeks back and other than one large ticket item the other stuff he asked for was very modest. Everything has been bought along with lots of other extras and lots of stocking fillers altogether I've spent around £600 which sounds a lot but we don't have any money issues and I save up all year so that I don't have to dip into our savings - that's just background.

Anyway roll forward to today and he is looking all worried and when I asked him why he said that he's made a mistake with his Santa list and he now really wants an xbox one. We had a chat about how I've sent all the money to Santa for his presents and another £300 would be too much and offered to use the £200 pocket money he's got saved. I've also been given £100 by dh's parents to buy him some things (they can't possibly go shopping) they can give him. Anyway do I:

1. Say it's just too late to add an expensive item to the list and tough he should have chosen more carefully.

Or..

1. Buy it using grandparents contribution and his pocket money, so he gets to realise that money just doesn't grow on trees.

I'm minded to take option 2 whilst DH thinks it should be option 1.

Opinions greatly appreciated.

I just think £900 on a child is ridiculous. So much stuff! Why?! What for?!

Ms tumble the point is that if he gets it he'll be using mostly his own money , not mine with a top up from the grandparents. As I stated its not really about the money, he's not asking for loads and we are lucky to be in a position to be able to afford it if we wanted to.

The idea of swapping some of the other stuff for gp's is a good one.

Why is it too much? I'm not going into debt, haven't spent money we can't afford and I enjoy it.
I didn't want a lecture on children getting too much getting spoilt etc as I said in my op he didn't ask for much. He only asked for a giant bar of chocolate, a cd and the laptop so I don't think he qualifies as totally spoilt. What I wanted was an opinion on whether to let him contribute as he suggested himself or refuse point blank.

He's not your child though mstumble I wouldn't go telling a parent who spends only a tenner on their child they are stingy so why should anyone have the right to say anything about parents who spend more?

Because £900 worth of presents is a huge amount! I'd swop the laptop for the x box if he'd prefer that.

As I stated earlier I can't exchange the laptop because Dh has already installed extra software and set up parental controls etc.

I wouldn't worry about the Santa side of things, I doubt he believes at ten.

I just think that kind of amount will make the child have no concept of money or appreciation. Christmas will become purely about material possessions. I never understand why people go crazy and spend loads. What's the point? I have 3DC and never buy them more than one toy, one book, one selection box and maybe one crafty/making thing. That's it. They get loads of stuff from other family members too, so I still think they get spoilt rotten but they are not over whelmed by it all. And they do treasure each item. I can't see a child treasuring a laptop, x box, plus a few hundred on other things.

Let him contribute - it's a good thing to learn the value of money and it will make him think about if he really wants one or not.

DS has saved some pocket money and monetary gifts and always seems to think very carefully about what he spends his money on.

He'll definitely treasure the Xbox mrstumble

Would you like it if we said you were stingey and depriving your child mstumble ? No,thought not. Give it a rest,this commenting people get for choosing to spend a certain amount on their kids is unfair.

Give it a rest.

Why should anyone care who gets what?And all these comments you hear about bragging or being competitive at Christmas,isn't it really just a case of others disliking people spending more because they think it's wrong?Yet people get accused of bragging.It's pathetic with a capital P!!!

Spending money does not mean a child doesn't learn value,understand the meaning of anything,is spoilt or doesn't have a proper family Christmas,doesn't mean it's all about the presents.It's the parenting that makes that difference,not the pounds

Your lad clearly doesn't believe in Santa and is just chancing it.

Give him his Christmas money and let him sort what to do with it.

£900 for a 10 year old would be obscene IMO even if you are comfortable.

Trip trap...I don't think anyone could accuse me of being stingy or depriving my DCs as I've still got them a decent amount. I've just not gone OTT. I couldn't understand some of your message, but if you think I'm commenting due to jealousy/competitiveness on people spending more, you've misread what I'm saying. And for the record, isn't good parenting teaching children the value of money (which I know OP is trying to do by considering giving DC the money for Xbox)

It's Christmas mstumble

The rant about people ranting was general,not aimed at you,don't worry! But I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets fed up with the fact they can't mention what they get for their child because others will moan and say it's bragging.People mention things about others all the time,as if those who spend more aren't allowed to enjoy the things those who spend less do ie getting presents for their kids.

If you don't think people can accuse you of being stingey 'because...' how can anyone accuse anyone else of spoiling and their kids not appreciating things 'because...'

It's all each to their own,right? If it was a parent who just handed over shed loads of gifts and that was all there was to their Christmas I could understand it,but the opera isn't showing signs of that.

How about a bit of fairness as you don't know what her son is like,what her family and her Christmas is like.Just like we don't know what yours is like and don't judge or comment because,well who cares?Each to their own,I couldn't give a fig who spends what as long as their are happy kids at the end of it.

'Tis the season to be jolly for EVERYONE

Oh fgs give it a rest mstumble! What has how much she has spent in total got to do with her ability as a parent? If I had the money I would spend that amount. A laptop for school isn't an over indulgent present and the kid is putting £200 of his own money towards the Xbox. You aren't better than her because you are frugal at Christmas. You haven't been more true to the meaning of Christmas and you are hardly exuding Christmas goodwill and cheer on this thread! Stop being so judgemental.

Bet your kids would love an Xbox....

You know what trip trap, to an extent I agree, I just can't help but be shocked at how much some people spend at christmas. Maybe if I was in a similar financial position, I'd do the same, but I'd hope that instead I'd give it to a charity or something. I think our nation as a whole has become totally greedy and disillusioned, and christmas brings out the worst in us. Sorry but went shopping at the weekend and came home feeling stressed and appalled! I do actually love christmas but hate this side to it!

How do you know she doesn't give to charity? You have no idea of any of our family values,our kids or of uChristmas'.You should not be judging.Give it a rest.Enjoy your Christmas and let other people enjoy theirs without judgement,including the pleasure of buying gifts!

Listen, I am allowed to voice my opinion. I haven't been rude or nasty and I'm never just speaking about the OP. I do think its ridiculous to spend hundreds and hundreds on a child. Obviously I am not claiming to know anything about the OPs personal life. Maybe in her circumstances, it seems reasonable to buy all these gifts. Who bloody knows. But, when I hear that people spend this kind of amount, as well as experiencing the unpleasantness of queuing up in shops, watching everyone spend spend spend. It seems unnatural and weird. And not very Christmassy at all.

Never should be not.

The rushing around in shops and spending is all good fun for me AND part of the spirit.Giving yourself,your time and money to give your loved ones something that makes them feel happy and special?What isn't Christmassy about that?

no offence taken trip trap

I do think though, even at 10, even when it is stuff you really want and need, that when there is an awful lot of stuff, you don't enjoy it as much.

So I would give him the money (with a note from gps to say this is to buy whatever you want/maybe an xbox? and allow him to make a mature decision about what to do with his own money), or - if your money's no object - perhaps keep hold of the laptop and give it to him when he does need it. Leaving primary present? Birthday?

Just a thought, but we've ended up with one present too many on occasion. We've solved this by making the extra thing a 'family present'. Could you do this with either the laptop or the games console?

We're doing it this year with an xbox otherwise ds's presents would seriously outweigh dd's.

If he is of the understanding that you have to send or give Santa money (as you said in the op)
Why don't you give him the money from gps, then get him to write another letter to Santa asking for the xbox one and that he will leave his pocket money towards it on Christmas Eve.
In the meantime you but the xbox then take the money back on Christmas Eve and the magic of Santa is kept alive.