Should I be a SAHM? Views/experiences please!

[Tonicandgin]

What's it like? Good and bad stuff please!

Did you give up your career? How did you feel about it.
Are there many other mum friends to connect with and how?
Also how do you cope with much less £ than you had previously?

So you give up work,dh is sole earner and you replicate patriarchal family
And you hope in future that you'll be able to resume career?its a risky strategy
Once your kid at school you'll have nowt to do so need to plan return to work then

My view is that every solution sucks, for you and/or the baby and/or other family members.

You have to choose the option that sucks the least.

I lived being a sahm for 5 years, even though I was fairly isolated as didn't do baby groups or the like. I look back fondly on the time I spent with my girls though and wouldn't change that aspect.

My career? I was a technical person in IT. Can't get back into it, even though I am prepared to take a job at a lower wage and work my way back up.

Now work in a school, the hours suit, for £30k less than I was on. That hurts! Would love to take the kids abroad (now 12 & 8) but funds just won't allow it on my meagre wage.
So I have regrets but not so many that I wished I'd carried on working.

-loved- not lived

I've been a SAHM for 18 years apart from a couple of very brief forays into the workplace.

My advice? Go part-time. Seriously. I remember the feeling of not being able to bear the thought of leaving my baby. That isn't the problem. It is when they are no longer babies, when they are at school, that the problems begin. As I had 4 children, by the time my youngest was at school, I had been out of work for 11 years and it was too hard to get back to my original career. If I had only worked one half day a week during all that time, I would have been fine. Your baby can bear to be parted from you for one half day a week.

Its all good, if you want it to be.
Seriously, I have loved every minute and never find my life boring or repetitive. I think if it was like that I'd do something to change it.
for me the best thing was being able to take dd out of school and H.ed, as there is nothing to stop you if you are a sahp.

IME, the thought of going back to work from maternity leave is way worse than the reality.

I was fine going back after DS, but felt very conflicted with DD & really questioned whether it was worth it. But I went back & surprised myself by actually enjoying it! It's good to escape the domestic drudgery, have a sense of independence & use what remains of my faculties.

The baby stage is lovely, the toddler stage not so much! In your shoes, I'd go back full-time, get pregnant again quickly (I know it's not always that easy!) & make a decision after that.

Don't assume that you will always feel like you can't bear to be apart from your LO. S/he is very little now, but won't always be, and you may come to feel that being apart from her / him isn't necessarily the most terrible thing in the world.