Have you ever slapped your DH?

[MrsW0931]

and if you did, what was the reason and exaclty how did your boyfriend/husband react?

You can phone the police if he does something like that! I think that would be the normal response, not to bloody hit him.

There are many reasons people don't phone the police though. I didn't because I had phoned them twice before and was told SS would become involved if they were called again, once you call them things are outside the home, it's an irrevocable step, though I do agree that's what the OP should have done.

Sparkly The problem there though is that in those situations, there is a reason why SS would be involved.

A child should never have to see a parent hit the other (or anyone)

Thanks sparklysilversequins finally!

Jeez, its a slap to a bloke whos big and strong enough to protect himself against a 5ft4 9stone woman. if id have ran at him with a knife or a saucepan then fair enough. He was throwing my things out of the window - because i had a go at him for losing his patience. I could not get to the window as i would have had to push past him to do so and he probably would have pushed me away then he was so wound up.

I dont care what anyone says men and women are not equal when it comes to strength. and a man slapping a woman is no where near the same as a woman slapping a man.

I totally agree that i should not have physically hit him and i should have walked away however in the heat of the moment when hes made me so cross for disrespecting my property that is how i retaliated. It didnt hurt him, it was simply to shock him out of throwing my stuff out of the window.

Jeez, it's just stuff!

My mum once destroyed a £300 games console and my A level coursework, but I still didn't get physically violent towards her because at the end of the day love and respect are far more valuable.

of course it's the same OP. It's physical violence that no person should be subjected to.

God, you are fucking pathetic. Just a slap? Tell that to the many many women abused by their partners who may well be smaller or weigh less than them. It is not a fucking excuse stop victim blaming. I really hope he sees sense and leaves this relationship.

Shocked that you think it's okay to hit your DH because he's bigger than you!

Keep that in mind though, if you do it again he might just hit you back harder.

Well said Peach.

And as has already been said, it's just stuff. Worth it for your children to see that for the sake of things?

So uv never slapped a man ever?

Yeah, your relationship sounds hideously dysfunctional. He's launching things out of windows and you're slapping him. Living your life like it's a Christmas episode of 'Eastenders' must be knackering. A line has been crossed. Time to do some serious thinking and consider whether you'd be better parents living apart, really.

Yeah I have, my ex who hit me first (no children involved here as we were both teenagers).

I've never "slapped" (why not just say hit?) DP, I'd rather just leave. My kids matter to me far more than the relationship does.

This has never happened before and we dont argue very often. I came on here to ask advice admitting my wrongs but it seems 90% of you dont have anything productive to say.

Im not argueing that what i did wasnt wrong.

No, you're just trying to argue that what he did was worse.

That's a piss poor method to assuage your own guilt.

OP I think a push away would be attributed to a knee jerk reaction and just to get you out if his space as you had become physical.

Something like a punch in the face, would be inappropriate.

I can see your really upset the children witnessed this, but I'm afraid you both have to take responsibility for that, in an ideal world he would have just removed himself from the situation before he reacted, but he didn't.

Yes you're right SS should have been involved and were in the end but when you're in that situation you're not thinking straight. If you were it wouldn't be happening at all would it?

The problem is that your blaming him! Yes, he was acting like a right twat but you didn't need to hit him.

You also seemed to think that him pushing you in front of your children was worse, it wasn't because you started it.

Yes, he should have walked away but that doesn't make what you did okay.

No, not even when in the deepest darkest depths of a nervous breakdown both sleep deprived and throwing all sorts of insults at each other. There is no excuse for violence to someone you supposedly love or even someone you hate. Adults walk away then talk when both are calm, we all lose our tempers no one is perfect but you need never resort to violence in an argument.

Sparkly I guess I understand that.

Both of you should have walked away, you should have walked away from the angry argument rather than slapped him, and he should have walked away rather than push you. It's 50/50. I can see you were provoked but that wasn't reason enough to slap him.

What are you going to do now though, it's quite dangerous for you both that your arguments are getting physical, and you really need to both out a stop to it,

Maybe he could 'protect himself' against you. However, the point is that no one should have to protect themselves against their partner. It shouldn't even be an issue in a healthy relationship.

And no, I've never slapped a man, or a woman, ever (unless I maybe hit my mum when I was two or something, but certainly not as an adult!). The fact that you think that this is unusual or hard to believe says a lot.

This is not about gender, or about who has the 'right' to do what. It's about providing a stable and non-violent environment for your children to grow up in. You both need to grow up, get your anger under control, and start behaving like adults and parents.

OP you have clearly come on here to get people to agree with you that you did something slightly wrong because your husband drove you to it and then he completely overreacted and was abusive to you.

It's not really going your way is it?

Instead of continually defending yourself and trying to convince us why don't you take a step back and really focus on your part in this and what you can do to avoid a rerun.

You have not apologised to him.

Do you ever apologise to anyone for anything?

I can't believe your saying that a woman hitting a man is never anywhere near as bad as a man hitting a woman OP. How do you feel about men then who are victims of DA? It sounds like you think that there is no way a man could be a victim of DA.

Golddigger - Where did i say i hadnt apologised?

We both apologised.