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Guest blog: why aren't we protecting children from porn?

140 replies

KateMumsnet · 24/05/2013 17:40

A report published today by the govt's Children Commissioner found that children are increasingly exposed to extreme pornography online - and that it's influencing their attitudes towards sex. In this guest blog, Sunday Times columnist (and MN Blogger) Eleanor Mills says it's time to put the protection of children first.

What do you think? Let us have your thoughts on the thread - and if you blog on this issue, don't forget to post your URL.

"Basically, Porn Is Everywhere is the title of a new report published today, from the Office of the Children's Commissioner. It reviews 41,000 pieces of research on the impact of porn and finds that widespread access to porn amongst youngsters is encouraging teenage boys to see girls as sex objects , engage in risky sexual behaviour and have sex earlier. Most worrying of all, it also shows a link between boys who view porn and more aggressive sexual behaviour and violence.

I'm tempted to say I told you so. For the past three years now I have been writing regularly about what I call Generation XXX (£) and the problems the tsunami of online porn is creating for today's teenagers and their relationships. These days everything from television to music videos, Instagram to the mania for sexting demonstrates the pervasive pornification of youth culture. Yet on we trundle, seemingly indifferent to its pernicious effects. Maybe now the naysayers will agree that there is a problem and take the appropriate action.

The writing has been on the wall about the harm done to youngsters who view adult sexual content on the web for a while. A few months ago, I attended a conference at the University of London's psychology department entitled Virtual Adolescence. As the day unfolded a succession of speakers, including Professor Alessandra Lemma (a world expert on body image and mental disorders) and John Woods, a consultant psychotherapist at the Portman Clinic in London, outlined the mental toll that screen life is taking on our children.

The stand-out talk of the day, given by Woods, was called Child Abuse on a Massive Scale: The Effects of Unregulated Pornography. It made for worrying listening.

Woods cited a study by HealthyMind.com which found the average age of first exposure to such images is six (other recent research has suggested the average age is eight) and that the largest consumers of internet porn are the 12-17 age group. These alarming figures are backed up by a new EU Kids Online survey which found that pornographic and violent content top a list of children's own internet concerns (57% say concerns about internet content "most bothered" people of their age).

In his lecture Woods outlined some disturbing examples from his clinical practice including 'James', whose long-term porn fascination led him to assault a five-year-old boy 'because he wanted to know what it felt like'. James, 16, had watched so much porn, Woods said, that he had "no idea the other person needed to give consent to be penetrated".

Another boy, Jeremy, 14, was "driven mad" by his compulsion to view illegal images; before the police confiscated his computer he had been spending at least two hours a night on increasingly violent porn websites while his parents thought he was doing his homework. During his therapy with Woods, Jeremy explained that the only way he could control the images that kept returning to his mind of animals, kids, stabbing and strangling was to 'switch the computer back on, as then the images were back there' rather than in his head.

I fail to understand how a society that insists on a 9pm watershed for swearing on television and rates cinematic content with 18 certificates so adult material is not seen by children, is so callously slack about the tsunami of brutal, violent porn available with two clicks of a mouse. This bafflement was widely shared at the conference. Woods, who treats young teen sex offenders, likened the inability of society to get a grip on the harm being done to a kind of 'mass psychosis'.

Why do we let it slide? The first reason is ignorance: many parents equate porn with the top-shelf centrefolds of their own youth, unaware of the smorgasbord of violent perversion so easily available on the internet. Attempts by the government, led by the MP Claire Perry, to establish an 'opt-in' system for the internet (the default setting for an internet feed would be porn-free unless users specifically asked for adult material, in which case they would have to prove they were over 18) has failed. The government, under pressure from internet service providers, has instead gone for a weaker system that prompts new users of broadband to set up parental controls on individual computers.

"That is inadequate, completely inadequate," countered Diane Abbott, the shadow public health minister, when I popped in to see her in Westminster. "The opt-in is so important. The problem with relying on parental controls is that every self-respecting child can get round them." That's why a new system, whereby internet service providers can give households who want it a clean feed - ie one without porn, so adults can opt-in for porn if they want to rather than children coming across it when they don't want to - is, in my view, so important.

Abbott sees internet porn as a public health matter. Since she spoke out about this at the Fawcett Society last month she has been taken aback by her postbag: "I've had hundreds of letters - they are really touching because they are not part of some orchestrated campaign but are from genuine women describing their distress at the pornification of culture and the sexualisation of women and girls that goes hand in hand with it.

"People think when you raise this that you're complaining about pictures of girls with bare breasts. Well, I'm not particularly concerned about bare breasts. What these children are seeing online is of an entirely different order; it is really horrible stuff which brutalises and degrades women. There'z a link between exposure to that sort of pornography and violence within relationships."

Abbott is right about that. Woods cited research that shows adolescents who watch internet pornography not only "relax their boundaries towards sexual violence" but are also more likely to "see women as sex objects and engage in risk- taking behaviours such as unprotected sex".

The Icelandic government is so concerned about the way violent internet porn seems to stoke sexual aggression that it is considering becoming the first democracy in the western world to ban online pornography. "We are a progressive, liberal society when it comes to nudity, to sexual relations, so our approach is not anti-sex but anti- violence," says Halla Gunnarsdottir, an adviser to the interior minister. Porn in this definition is not sexually explicit material but images that show hateful, violent sex.

That is exactly what the internet is awash with. So when children click on porn out of a natural curiosity to find out about sex (sex is the most common word typed into search engines), what they find isn't loving, consensual acts - albeit of a raunchy nature - but the most outré acts you can imagine (and many you can't).

The fact that society does not attempt to control or ban the extreme material that is so easily available sends our young people the message that it's standard to have group sex - and that violence is acceptable. Understandably, young people are confused, frightened and disturbed by what they see. Add arousal to that mix (patterns of early sexual arousal tend to stick for life) and it's not surprising that psychologists are worried.

Of course, it is oversimplistic to say that if you watch a rape-style fantasy online you immediately go out and commit one - but what a range of experts are beginning to agree upon is that widespread consumption of internet pornography, particularly at a tender age, shifts the way people think about intimacy, relationships and women. (Gail Dines, author of Pornland, describes just how porn hooks young men in in this article I published last week in the Sunday Times News Review. [£])

A good barometer of porn's influence is the fact that young people, raised on hairless porn stars, spend vast amounts of time and money having their pubic hair removed for fear of being seen as unattractive. Similarly, psychologists commonly report adolescents seeing sex as all about performance - ie, does it look like the porn they have seen? - rather than it being about a connection with the other person or pleasure.

Teens are caught in a web of pornified norms: sexting, indulging in unsafe sexual behaviour and generally feeling freaked out by 'expectations' implicit in the material they are viewing. I met one 14-year-old who was being sent porn clips by her boyfriend as prompts to what he wanted them to do that Saturday night. Woods, too, spoke of how porn spills over into reality, telling of a 17-year-old boy who reported himself for treatment because he had started following women down the street and was frightened he might "go further" in acting out his porn-fuelled fantasies.

Woods spoke passionately of the need to educate people about the risks of teen porn consumption, to support research that examines the effects of internet pornography and to "legally implement technological solutions that separate internet content, allowing consumers to choose the type of legal content they wish to have access to" - in other words, an 'opt-in' system.
It's up to all of us to make it happen.

I feel so strongly about all of this that on 2pm on June 11th at the offices of the think tank Policy Exchange in central London, I'm organising a conference on the subject, entitled Generation XXX. Attendees include MPs Claire Perry and Diane Abbott and Gail Dines, author of PornLand, an American academic who has led the charge on the damaging effects of porn. Dr John Woods from the Portman clinic, whose talk I mention above, will also be speaking - alongside some of the youth workers dealing with the fall-out from all of this on the front line. If you would like tickets (which are free) contact [email protected]."

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OP posts:
handsfullnow · 28/05/2013 18:41

@BoneyBackJefferson

If it won't work why is it being put forward as an option by the government? Or do you know more than their advisors on this subject?

"May 2013: Claire Perry who chaired the Parliamentary Inquiry into Online Child Protection welcomed the news that the Prime Minster will launch a consultation into child protection on the internet which will include a formal review of "Opt-In" access to adult content."

Surely blocking some porn is better than blocking no porn. Since when did an imperfect system stop a system being implemented?

BoneyBackJefferson · 28/05/2013 19:26

"If it won't work why is it being put forward as an option by the government?"

You would have to ask the government

"Or do you know more than their advisors on this subject?"

If you could give me the names of the advisors I will have a look and come back to you on that, but I am fairly sure that I know as much if not more than a financial advisor that read history at university.

"Surely blocking some porn is better than blocking no porn. Since when did an imperfect system stop a system being implemented?"

Putting an imperfect filtering system is the same as putting no filtering in place.

BoneyBackJefferson · 28/05/2013 19:27

sorry she read geography not history.

handsfullnow · 28/05/2013 19:52

Lots of very intelligent people read History at University. I'm assuming she is clever enough to be properly informed of the subject.

I can't argue that you know more than these people at the very highest level but maybe you do?

If you do, please advise those in charge of regulating children's internet access or we will be forced to campaign for an Icelandic-style ban on all porn, which is maybe the answer.

BoneyBackJefferson · 28/05/2013 20:29

How can I advise them of something that doesn't exist?

Others on the thread have posted why the various blocks won't work I am not going to repost them.

"I'm assuming she is clever enough to be properly informed of the subject."

Unfortunately many minsters are not properly informed on various subjects and as she is campaigning for something that doesn't exist she (IMO) falls into that catagory.

NetworkGuy · 28/05/2013 20:30

Great piece, PlentyOfPubeGardens (the long post on Saturday).

scaevola - "But right now, there is nothing that would outdo what filters offer already, and the prospect of a magic 'nasties be gone button offers only a false sense of security."

(my bolding) - was one of the points put to MNHQ a year and a half ago (or some similar timescale) when MNHQ was initially in support of the proposal for ISP-based filtering and a default "opt in".

MNHQ did an important u-turn after considering the arguments from an essentially technical viewpoint was that most filtering "solutions" were flawed, that since 'content' of a web site can change from day to day, even hour to hour or minute to minute, what might be deemed "safe" in one instant could contain hard core porn, or violent hate speech, or whatever, the next time it was displayed.

I believe MNHQ also thought (as many in the threads discussing the topic did) that parents needed more education and it was for parents to lay down the moral guidelines on what may or may not be acceptable, and wider discussion, on 'adult' topics, would be needed at various ages...

NetworkGuy · 28/05/2013 20:33

Whole matter came up again today in the "You and Yours" phone-in on Radio 4 at lunchtime. Good to hear one of the experts say filtering is a flawed method without parents discussing topic of what may be seen on the internet (and parents also getting technical help to be able to monitor and guide, instead of having DC "run rings around them" with the technology).

Filtering of just porn is surely wrong anyway - some "safety" software aims to block gambling, social media, dieting (think eating disorders), and plenty of other categories of site. It was standard on that 'Home Access' scheme to assist low income families with getting a computer for school age youngsters.

While I'm definitely against a 'Big Brother' state, and generally anti-censorship, I don't think I'd go so far as Tee in apparently accepting child porn - certainly that's something we should all wish to see eradicated and its users and dealers in a "place of safety" where they will never influence others, and preferably be kept in such a way as to be unable to even discuss their likes and dislikes.

NetworkGuy · 28/05/2013 20:47

"If it won't work why is it being put forward as an option by the government?"

Simply because they are willing to ignore the advice from OFCOM, which itself looked into filtering and considered it a flawed method, some 15 months or more ago.

China has "an army of censors" yet there are still methods being cleverly used by a minority to get round the blocking mechanisms. In the case of UK Government, it is perhaps to attempt to "garner support" from the majority of voters (age 20 to 70, probably have children or grandchildren, and believe "something must be done").

No matter that it's a daft proposal, may not achieve very much, will cost all ISP customers (or at least customers of the bigger ISPs will decide to spend a small fortune on building a filtering system, to show willing, even if their technical staff know it is relatively easy to circumvent, consider the cash a waste of money...

I can see it now, different ISPs 'boasting' about how much it cost (their users will be paying for it, remember) for this great placebo filtering system, which on the face of it, will block trivial attempts at viewing certain hosts, but won't stop people for very long).

meditrina · 28/05/2013 20:52

"an Icelandic-style ban on all porn, which is maybe the answer"

Iceland never brought forward proposals on how the "ban" would work. Yes, an election intervened - jolly convenient, as it allowed the PM to talk up something non-existent. If you look at what was actually said by the Icelandic government, it was clear that all they were doing was some wishful thinking and tasking some experts to look into it. No actual measures were ever set out.

NessaYork · 28/05/2013 22:04

Chastemccain - Girls is a sitcom written, directed and starring Lena Dunham. As Caitlin Moran describes it, 'Girls shows what it's like when your head is full of porn and so is your lover's.' www.thetimes.co.uk/tto/magazine/article3677471.ece

I would NOT recommend showing it to children of any age or gender. I will watch it with my own daughters when they reach appropriate maturity (16?18? 25?) because it has some great life lessons and textbook examples of behaviour/choices by the kind of men I hope my own girls never fancy.
I think the best way to help children to avoid the omnipresent porn trap is to enlighten them on how to achieve great relationships (which can lead to great sex) instead of them thinking it's ok to settle for the sad loneliness of porn.

Snorbs · 28/05/2013 23:04

Claire Perry MP has close links with SaferMedia, a charity whose clear aim is to rid the Internet - and indeed all media - of anything that they do not regard as child-friendly. And that includes bad language.

SaferMedia used to have their manifesto on their website which read, in part, that their aims were "...by working in accordance with Christian values to minimise the availability of potentially harmful media content displaying violence, pornography and explicit sex, bad language and anti-social behaviour and the portrayal of drugs..."

I can't find the manifesto on their website any more and I note that they are down-playing the Christian angle somewhat these days compared to a couple of years ago. Nevertheless consider which side of the nice-or-naughty list mumsnet would be on if SaferMedia got its way.

I can only imagine that Claire Perry and SaferMedia aren't particularly bothered by the inherent flaws of ISP-level porn blocking because for them that is just the start.

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 29/05/2013 08:43

Thank you, Raven.

I work in schools too so understand the filtering system there- access to YouTube is blocked, though sometimes this appears not to work and I can view some videos.

However, I still feel it would be unacceptable to do nothing.
I think it's worth a try.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 29/05/2013 09:37

But it's not a choice between the opt-in proposal and doing nothing.

The other option is to use parental controls software, which works far better than the opt-in would, and to build a proper education and support programme for parents and DC, and to keep pushing for societal change to make porn use or production simply unacceptable.

I understand the appeal of the magic button but really you might as well just make one out of cardboard and put it next to your router for all the use it would be.

Snorbs · 29/05/2013 11:03

However, I still feel it would be unacceptable to do nothing. I think it's worth a try.

In other words:
We must do something.
An opt-in porn filter is "something".
Therefore we must do it.

Nope, sorry. I feel that legislation should have a better grounding in fact than this.

I work in computer networking. I know how filtering works because I've run filtering systems. I know the benefits, the problems, the limitations and the costs.

An opt-in porn filter at your ISP will not protect your children from the non-sexual violent and graphic images and videos that litter the web. It won't protect them from all the the sexual ones either. It will also inevitably accidentally or deliberately block access to sites that you wouldn't necessarily regard as porn. Therefore to fully protect your child from the nasties of the Internet you'd need to set up a filtering system on the PC/tablet/phone that your child uses.

An opt-in filter at your ISP that blocks access to all non-child friendly sites (the end goal of Claire Perry and many of her supporters) will end up being turned off by the majority of parents as it would block their legitimate access to sites aimed at adults, eg mumsnet. So you'd need to set up a filtering system on the PC/tablet/phone that your child uses.

The bottom line is that the access a child should have to the Internet is different to the access an adult should have. I'm not talking about porn, I'm talking about sites aimed at grown-ups. I don't want my children having access to mumsnet, reddit or liveleak as they are not suitable for children. I do want access to those sites because mumsnet is great, reddit has some excellent topics aimed at particular interests of mine, and liveleak (amidst the dross) is an important channel for the dissemination of video from repressive regimes. I don't want my 11yo having access to Facebook but I do allow it for my 14yo.

A PC-level filter allows you to tailor who has access to what on a user by user basis. An ISP-level filter doesn't. To protect your child you need a filter that is tailored to what is appropriate for them and an ISP level filter cannot do that. It's that simple.

One final point - if you really do want an opt-in ISP level filtering system then you can get that today. TalkTalk offers it. Those here who are in favour of opt-in filtering, have you moved your broadband connection to TalkTalk? If not, why not?

libertarianj · 29/05/2013 13:07

totally agree Snorbs, it would be interesting to see what percentage of TalkTalk customers have opted for this filtering? This would give a good indication of what the results would be nationwide, if they did plough ahead with the default filtering proposals.

Pubes to keep pushing for societal change to make porn use or production simply unacceptable.

Where i agree with your points about education, i think the chances of porn ever being made unacceptable are about as likely as getting these damn porn filters to work. Nil basically.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 29/05/2013 15:34

Why? Lots of things used to be acceptable that are no longer so. Societies do change, sometimes quite quickly. The rise in the acceptability of using porn has happened incredibly quickly - over the course of just a few decades.

I will admit this is a long term aim but still one worth working towards, because a) unless we change as a society we will always be playing technological catch-up and b) working towards a society that sees women as people and not commodities is a worthwhile aim in itself.

I think education is the first step in the process.

chocoluvva · 29/05/2013 16:14

I couldn't agree more Plenty.

libertarianj · 29/05/2013 22:50

One question plenty, when you say 'porn', are you meaning the really violent/ extreme stuff? or are you referring to all porn and erotica, including softcore sites like playboy, Femjoy, Met-Art etc? or maybe even scenes you would see in something like Game of Thrones for example?

NetworkGuy · 30/05/2013 11:46

"Societies do change, sometimes quite quickly."

While I can understand your view, I think that you are forgetting the global nature of the internet with no strict boundaries about what someone can do/ see/ write/ hear... (just as katykuns forgot when she suggested a legislative approach to ban porn)

While there's a global "agreement" in the non-proliferation of nuclear arms, it only needs a few dissenters (Iran, India, Pakistan, N Korea) to make the suggestion a bit of a laugh...

Trying to get Australia, Canada, USA (Freedom of Speech) and others, some in Europe/EU to stop porn is a pretty big challenge, even if the UK did change attitude (and as soon as something is banned, it almost guarantees 'popularity'). I doubt it will ever "go away". Far better to be regulated (to be taxed) and prevent it getting ever more extreme.

NetworkGuy · 30/05/2013 11:53

"if you really do want an opt-in ISP level filtering system then you can get that today. TalkTalk offers it. Those here who are in favour of opt-in filtering, have you moved your broadband connection to TalkTalk?"

Seems *> big three will join TalkTalk

NetworkGuy · 30/05/2013 11:56

Loved the last part of the ISP review article... just like The Register when it has covered the topic, they are sceptical of the use of filters:

"Naturally children will have no trouble finding ways around any of this but nobody seems to care about that. In addition, solutions like this were already widely available, many are offered for free, although once again nobody seems to care about that either."

(ISPReview.co.uk - Saturday, May 25th, 2013 (8:40 am) by Mark Jackson)

NetworkGuy · 30/05/2013 12:02

For anyone interested, here's a brief article about using "OpenDNS FamilyShield".

You'll see from the comments that with a bit of technical know-how, it can be sidestepped, but that's what we've said all along... it just adds a hurdle to jump and the less savvy/determined youngsters won't bother...

chocoluvva · 30/05/2013 12:49

"a hurdle to jump and the less savvy/determined youngsters won't bother" is better than nothing.

NetworkGuy · 30/05/2013 14:02

Agreed, but a reminder that many of these attempts at blocking might be just a hurdle.

It's why assuming an ISP-based "solution" is enough, is likely to lull some parents into thinking they don't need to educate themselves (about IT) and discuss such topics with their DC...

A "block" or "filter" is just too simplistic, and almost guaranteed to fail, yet MPs and others seem to believe it will be "fine" (or is that just "what parents want to hear").

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/05/2013 18:06

chocoluvva
" "a hurdle to jump and the less savvy/determined youngsters won't bother" is better than nothing"

How long do you think it will be before the more savvy/determined tell the less savvy/determined?

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