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An affair

39 replies

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:15

Would you want to know if your other half had an affair?

OP posts:
BabylonReturns · 28/04/2013 20:44

You should tell her yes.

I don't particularly think you should expect abuse on here either, you're not married, and whether you knew he was or not, is not the point.

Many moons ago, I unwittingly became the OW. I engaged in a relationship with a man I had no idea was married. He used to come and stay at my flat 2/3 nights a week, we spent most weekends together and I never had an inkling at all.

When I found out he was married I ended it immediately. Months later she contacted me at the pub I worked at and asked me if I'd slept with her husband. I denied it thinking it was best to protect him, but then I figured he'd lied to me, he'd lied to her, and he would do it again.

I called her and told her everything. Now as far as I know they are still together and have since had a DC, but that is their choice. At least I know she knows the truth.

Hassled · 28/04/2013 20:47

I'm glad you do realise you need to tell her - but don't waste time trying to psyche yourself up; you'll never feel ready. You just have to get on with it.

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:49

The affair naturally came to an end due to circumstances.

OP posts:
AlfalfaMum · 28/04/2013 20:51

His betrayed wife obviously does want to know, having gone to all that trouble to find your email address etc. She deserves the truth.

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:53

I don't care about protecting him. He doesn't deserve that. She seems so lovely that I'm finding it incredibly difficult to tell her.

OP posts:
Chubfuddler · 28/04/2013 20:54

Nobody wants to know their husband is having an affair.

They deserve to know the truth though.

kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 20:55

Are the 'friends' her friends too?

I'm guessing it was a fairly long-standing affair! When did it end?

GirlOutNumbered · 28/04/2013 20:58

Yes, tell her.
I was the gf of a serial cheater and 'everyone' knew about it. I was so hurt that people didn't tell me, even some friends.

I finally figured it out myself, but I wasted nearly two years on him.

soundevenfruity · 28/04/2013 21:06

No, I wouldn't want to know.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 28/04/2013 21:13

The wife has asked you, and requested an honest answer.

So it doesn't matter a flying fuck whether any of us would want to know. She does.

OrangeFootedScrubfowl · 28/04/2013 21:56

If I didn't want to know I would not go looking for answers. This wife is asking you. Be honest.

Shutupanddrive · 10/05/2013 16:24

Agree that you should tell her

currentlyconfuseddotcom · 11/05/2013 22:47

You should probably tell her - she might feel like she's going mad at the moment

currentlyconfuseddotcom · 11/05/2013 23:02

Oops this is an old one, isn't it...?

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