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An affair

39 replies

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:15

Would you want to know if your other half had an affair?

OP posts:
EmmaDale · 28/04/2013 20:17

Do you mean that they had an affair whilst they were in a previous relationship or had an affair at some point during your relationship?

kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 20:19

If they were having one? Yes.
If they'd had one in the past and everything was completely all over, done and dusted, and I wasn't at risk of STI, hmmm maybe not.

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:20

During current relationship.

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AnyFucker · 28/04/2013 20:21

Absolutely, yes

Why do you ask ?

EmmaDale · 28/04/2013 20:21

Thank you for clarifying - yes, I would want to know. Would you not want to know?

MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 28/04/2013 20:23

Yes I would want someone to tell me, I'm not sure I would be brave enough to tell someone their partner was having an affair though.

colleysmill · 28/04/2013 20:23

This has happened to me in the past and although at the time I didn't believe it, I think I would yes.

Twas the first hint for me I should get out, although it took longer to actually go.

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:24

The affair is done and dusted. Their other half recently asked me if it had happened. I denied it. She wanted an honest response. I feel sick and so I should. He will do it again with someone else.

OP posts:
Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:26

Do I man up and tell her I slept with her husband. We all have a lot to lose if I do. Them, a relationship and me, my friends

OP posts:
AnAirOfHope · 28/04/2013 20:28

I would want to know. If she asked you then she already knows so i would have been honest.

AnAirOfHope · 28/04/2013 20:30

I would call her and tell her, dont do it face to face. That gives her the chance to hang up if it gets too much and you cant see her cry.

AnyFucker · 28/04/2013 20:31

Ah.

You should have told the truth. It is the very least you could have done.

BabylonReturns · 28/04/2013 20:31

So you had an affair with your friends husband?

Denied it to her face, and you know he will do it again with someone else?

Does your husband know? (Assuming you too, are married)

I don't mean to be blunt, it wasn't all that clear to me from your posts whether you'd done the cheating or been cheated on.

penguinplease · 28/04/2013 20:32

I have just recently discovered my now ex had an affair. Lots of mutual friends knew, witnessed some of it and never told me. I feel angry and humiliated that not one of my so called friends told me.

Do the right thing, if you're brave enough to do the deed without a second thought then you deserve the consequences.

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:33

No, I've never met her. She found me through mutual friends and emailed me.

No, I'm not married.

And yes, i do expect abuse on here for it.

OP posts:
MissyMooandherBeaverofSteel · 28/04/2013 20:34

Email her, call her or text her and let her know. You owe her that much at least. She will be thinking she is going mad, looking for things that she now thinks aren't there, she probably even apologised to her husband for doubting him.

If there is a fall out then so be it, that should have been thought about first, at least this way she won't unknowingly waste the next however many years if her life on the tosser.

kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 20:35

If she asked, she wants to know. You should have told her. You still should now.

penguinplease · 28/04/2013 20:35

I agree she already knows, this is what I did. I do hope you are not the same woman!

kinkyfuckery · 28/04/2013 20:36

Why are you concerned about losing your friends? Are they involved somehow?

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:38

I know I should tell her and I'm psyching myself up to do it shortly; hence my post. I hope to god she hasn't apologised to him

OP posts:
EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 28/04/2013 20:38

Tell her. Don't be a coward.

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:38

Because they were his friends first.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/04/2013 20:39

Are you still fucking her husband ?

Mistykit · 28/04/2013 20:40

I would rather pour hot wax on my face than go near him again

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/04/2013 20:40

He dumped you then ?