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Original poster

Would you leave your sensible 9 year old home alone?

65 replies

lisad123 · 11/09/2012 16:51

Trying to decide what to do, so thought I would ask Mumsnet.
Dd1 is nearly 10years old and very sensible. She doesn't get of the school bus and home until 4.30pm.
I have to go to local station to pick up dh at 5.25pm.
I hate the fact that she's settled and chilling out and then I have to drag her out again.
It's a 20min round trip to station and back.

She wouldn't answer door or phone and knows my number and how to reach me if she needed.
Would you leave her for that time or continue to take her with you?

OP posts:

insanityscratching · 12/09/2012 06:57

I don't think ASD means you have to avoid everything for fear of meltdowns (FWIW dd has never had a meltdown in her life) I just think that it has to be considered alongside. And for me 9 is earlier than I'd feel comfortable leaving my NT children unattended (but had no qualms at 11) and I'd certainly not leave a child with ASD earlier than I'd leave an NT one purely because the understanding, resilience and fortitude is significantly less.For me I prefer to ensure success rather than deal with the fallout if something goes wrong and I know I could ensure success when dd was 12 or so but not when she was 9 that's all.

EdithWeston · 12/09/2012 07:05

I first left mine age 10, for up to half an hour, rising to about an hour and a half by end primary.

From year 7, they needed to be confident and competent enough to let themselves in and be home alone for about 30mins until I got back from the other school run with the littlest. Better learned in non-stressy times than just at the time of school transfer.

VivaLeBeaver · 12/09/2012 07:13

If SS were interested in me they'd have to be interested in half the village. Its normal here for kids to be left when at secondary school age.

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Families

eggsandwich · 12/09/2012 21:07

My DD is also nearly 10 and very sensible for her age, but personally I would'nt leave her on her own, anything could happen, god forbid!, can't your DH get a taxi home if its that close.

ByTheSea · 12/09/2012 21:09

I would and have.

BobblyOrangeGoldGussets · 12/09/2012 21:22

Yeah, been leaving my DS1 since he was eight for 15-20 minutes with a contingency in place. I tell the neighbours and give him a ring on the landline to check he's ok. He has made it to 9 1/2 now, so we are going good.

RedDevilBattery · 12/09/2012 21:29

DSD is 8 and I wouldn't leave her for longer than 15-20 minutes. She calls after 10 minutes and knows to knock on the next door neighbours if I haven't returned in 30 minutes. I don't leave her regularly, though.

Remotecontrolduck · 15/09/2012 11:12

I think I live on another planet, I wouldn't think twice about leaving a nearly 10 year old for 20 minutes..... Is this a recent thing to be so neurotic incase something 'might' happen?!

ben5 · 15/09/2012 11:32

ds1 whos nearly 9 has been left for no more than 10 mins before. the first time I sat next door but 1 but out of view for him. I rang the phone. He didn't answer as instructed. neighbour knocked the door and he didnt answer, as instructed.! When I got home he told me the phone rang once and someone knocked at the door. I trust him. I live in a safe area. My neighbours are great. Have I left him again for 10 minutes yes. Would I do it in op case and leave him. yes I would. no running to hide because I know some of you are going to slate me!!

Original poster

lisad123 · 15/09/2012 12:47

Well have left her twice and she's been fine. She knows to phone my sister or mum if we aren't back by a certain time.

OP posts:

LadyMargolotta · 15/09/2012 12:48

I left my girls at home alone for the first time recently, for 20 minutes. They are 8 and 7. They were fine, I was nervous though!

5madthings · 15/09/2012 13:12

thats great lisad :)

i think its fine, i leave mine at that age, it all depends on the child and the circumstances, i am not sure why some people are so aghast etc. you take precautions, teach the children what to do in an emergency etc. its little bits of independence like this that help them to grow up and become a bit more independent, its age appropriate and mine imo!

upanddown83 · 18/09/2012 22:02

I was left at home for suhort periods at that age and loved it I can't see any problems with it it's only 20 mind yes of course anything could happen in those 20mins but anything cud happen anytime so IMO as long as its not he's at a time and they can call u/neighbour if they r worried then I see no problem!

angelpinkcar · 19/09/2012 22:15

I wouldn't leave her, I used to be left at that age as a child for a few hours with younger siblings and worried the while time incase they became ill or something happened to them while my mum and dad were at work. Mum was only up the road literally but it still had an effect on me. I would just take her with you. Get a DVD player in the car or something. If an accident happens its more unlikely statiscally than something happening in the home.

ravenAK · 19/09/2012 22:23

I think it's fine.

My 8 yo ds is certainly old enough to be left for long enough for me to nip to local shop etc.

Being in charge of younger ones is a different matter; I've come to the conclusion that if you wouldn't leave the youngest on their own, it's unfair to leave them at all unless eldest is of 'babysitting' age - mid-teens, probably?

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