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Original poster

6 yr old asking is Santa real?

30 replies

janji · 02/09/2012 02:03

Following on from one of the Christmas threads I wondered if any of you other mums had encountered this problem and how you tackled it.
Ds aged 8 & dd aged 6 were very much firm believers in santa Claus , the tooth fairy etc until recently a little 'charmer' in dd's class keep insisting both are not real. Up until this point both dc had unfaultering faith in the magic of fairies/Santa but this little darling has now planted the seeds of doubt! Does anyone know an effective way of keeping the magic alive for a little longer?!

OP posts:

Nigglenaggle · 02/09/2012 15:11

I talked to 'Santa' a couple of times on the phone when I was little - not because I didnt believe but for him to tell me to be a good girl so I would get presents hehe. I am now 34 and my mum still hasnt told me about Santa :D I used to get letters from the tooth fairy in little tiny writing God I was excited!! My mum just poo-pooed any suggestion from others that they didnt exist. Oh and we got a (manufactured - who knows where from) card from Santa each year thanking us for the mince pies as well

Original poster

janji · 02/09/2012 15:32

We do all of that kind of stuff here. Hopefully when the Christmas atmosphere kicks in dc will get caught up in it and forget doubts. Want to cling on to the magic as long as possible, Christmas was lovely but never quite the same when I accidentally found out no Santa!

OP posts:

Rubirosa · 02/09/2012 15:36

I would tell the truth - Santa is something magic that we like to believe in because it makes Christmas so much fun. But I don't really like the lying to start with, and especially not to a child of 6 who has actually asked outright.

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Events & celebrations

cece · 02/09/2012 15:40

Two standard answers here.

People who don't believe in Santa don't get presents.

No one knows how Santa works for real, it is only guesses.

IME those two answers cover most questions.

Rubirosa · 02/09/2012 15:42

That first one is so mean spirited cece! I can't believe anyone would actually say that to a child.

peeriebear · 02/09/2012 15:50

I said that people who don't believe in Father Christmas don't get a present from him. The DDs know that we buy them their Christmas presents but they get one (in different, nicer paper and tied with string instead of Sellotape!) from FC.

DharmaBumpkin · 02/09/2012 16:05

We went with "well, what do YOU think?" and she still wanted to believe. I then said different people believe in different things (God etc) and that I believed in Santa.

When she no longer can believe I plan to use the "Congrats, you figured it out, now you're a secret keeper" approach just so that she doesn't blimmin spoil the fun for others!

cece · 02/09/2012 22:53

Really?? Why is it mean???

I must be missing something.

louisianablue2000 · 02/09/2012 23:16

I'm not going to force a child into 'believing' when they don't anymore but can understand the annoyance at kids who haven't been told to keep it a secret. It might be that they're a bit upset about finding out though, my niece was so upset and angry when she finally found out, her sister (15 months younger) was much cleverer at hiding that she 'knew'.

I think DharmaBumpkin's approach is the most sensible but agree with Rubirosa that if a child is asking outright then it's maybe time to tell them the truth but tell them it's a special story to make Christmas magic or something.

mirry2 · 02/09/2012 23:22

I always said that not everyone believes in him but we liked to think he's real in OUR house because it makes Christmas special.

candyflossisevil · 02/09/2012 23:46

I said to ds when he was younger 'he's real as long as you believe in him.'
When he definitely didn't believe any more I made sure he didn't spoil it for any younger children by using the spin that he was now grown up enough to know the secret!

80sMum · 02/09/2012 23:49

I am astonished that an eight-year-old would still believe in father Christmas or tooth fairies! Surely not?!

Nigglenaggle · 03/09/2012 21:42

Why ever not 80s mum? They will be grown up soon enough pffft!

lemonbonbons · 03/09/2012 21:50

.... My answer ....' I have no idea to be honest ..... But he has Always been to my house ' (puzzled look at child)

Disclaimer : I still say this to 15 yr olds I teach - and they don t seem to mind the answer or argue it back !

Original poster

janji · 03/09/2012 22:18

My feeling is that kids have to grow up far too quickly these days! Maybe I am too nanny pamby to want to keep a bit of magic and excitement alive; but yes, my 8 yr old still believes and I don't see any reason why this should be scoffed at or frowned upon.

OP posts:

80sMum · 04/09/2012 00:59

I just thought that most children would have 'seen through it' by that age. The very fact that they start to question it at 6 years old is evidence that their rational brain is telling them that it can't be true.
What confuses the issue is when parents, understandably wanting to keep their little ones little for just a bit longer, attempt to confound the child's development of logical thinking by perpetuating the delusion that Santa is real and presenting fantasy as fact.
We don't expect children to believe that Postman Pat or Noddy or any other fantasy character is real, so why this one? Is it not mainly (or solely?) for the benefit of the adults (who wish to relive through their children a time of innocence when they themselves believed) rather than the children? Children would be just as happy with a story, something that was 'just pretend.' It's only adults that make it 'real' and continue to try to convince an increasingly skeptical child whose own intelligence tells them it isn't/can't actually be true. Just saying!

NellyJob · 04/09/2012 01:02

plus why kid them that it's OK for a smelly old man to break into the house and steal all the mince pies?

Original poster

janji · 04/09/2012 02:19

Since when was Santa smelly?! Lol. I get the logical argument, and yes it's as much for adult as the kids but I can't help myself?!

OP posts:

AKissIsNotAContract · 04/09/2012 02:48

I agree with 80s mum. Once children work it out I think the pretence should be stopped.

Nigglenaggle · 04/09/2012 20:04

'Is it not mainly (or solely?) for the benefit of the adults (who wish to relive through their children a time of innocence when they themselves believed) rather than the children?'

Because we enjoyed the fun & the excitement of the fantasy perhaps? My scientific education has managed to give me enough logical faculties, I dont think the fact that my mum never told me Santa wasnt real has hindered my intellect

Evasmum12 · 04/09/2012 20:13

I found out when my brother woke me up saying 'quick, quick, it's morning! Go downstairs, Santa has been!' So I ran downstairs to find it was 11pm and my mum and dad putting the presents out.

Sob.

what a bastard

But if he's worked it out for himself then tell the truth but tell him it will still be special etc etc.

AndiMac · 04/09/2012 20:16

I would turn the question around and ask, "What do you think?"

That might give you a feel of how the child wants it answered, whether they are ready for the truth or whether they want reassurance that Santa is still real.

Lora1982 · 05/09/2012 01:09

when i was a youngsta my brother dared question santas authenticity and was told he would only get soap and coal til he shouted 'i believe in santa' up the (gas) fire while dad fetched his prezzies from the garage :-D

confuddledDOTcom · 05/09/2012 01:25

I agree with asking what he thinks. He could just be repeating back what has been said and looking for reassurance. My daughter keeps telling me that her cousin keeps saying he's not real and that whispers and claps hands "fairies aren't real" (the most logical little girl you can imagine but also a Tink fan)

I believe Father Christmas is real, he may not be a real man that climbs down chimneys but the concept of him is real (and the euphemisms we use for him are very real )

BadRoly · 05/09/2012 01:32

Dd1 is 11 now and wholeheartedly believes . We have always thrown it back at her with "what do you think" and when ds1 (more logically minded) joins in, we point out that if he doesn't believe then FC won't bring him anything...

Mind, I could do without the fecking tooth fairies and the letters they write...

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