RUDE limericks

[auntymandy]

There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat

In days of old
When knights were bold
and condoms weren't invented
they tied their socks
around their cocks
and babies were prevented.

There was a man from Ghent
Who had a penis so long it bent
It was so much trouble
That he kept it double
And instead of coming he went.

no one want a laugh today?!

There was a young lady called Heather
Whose ahem was made out of leather.
She made an odd noise
For attracting the boys
By flapping the edges together.

Oh dear.

thats a good one

I could go on...

There was an old vicar from Delft
Who was constantly playing with himself.
When he had done
He labelled it 'son'
And filed it away on the shelf.

Not sure if that's quite right actually. Does it make sense?

There was a young lady called Alice
Who pee'd in the [???] chalice
She said 'I do this
From a great need to piss
And not through sectarian malice'.

terribly sorry can't remember crucial word there but I always liked that one. shall stop now!

I've had one too many a beer
and I've misunderstood you, I fear
So you're mad that you're wet
but please don't forget
that you asked me to come over here!

very good!!!

had a link to a page will look again and post it..Glad some people joined in thought I was the only loon!!

here

A horny young lady named Lil
f***d a dynamite stick for a thrill
They found her vagina
in north Carolina
and bits of her tits in Brazil

Just found his one on the internet. Made me LOL.

did I kill it with my obsenity??

sorry I had to go!
Not many seem to think this is funny!!!
Sad lot!!

I found it amusing.

Perhaps the thread will be more appreciated this evening when everyone starts on the nightime vino!

There was a young lady from Ealing
who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling

There was a young whore from Peru
Who filled her vagina with glue.
She said, with a grin,
''If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out of it too!''

My sister swears she made this one up but ....

very good!
Come on you night timers post yours here!!

A knight whose armour was bright
Broke wind in the midst of a fight
As a matter of course
He rose from his horse
And covered his squire in ......confusion

There once was a girl from devises
Whos boobs were of 2 different sizes
One was so small
it wasn't at all
The other was hugh - it won prizes

There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a backedt of seeds
Great tufts of grass
Shot out of his arse
And his cock was covered in weeds

There once was a girl from devises

thats another my Dad used to tell me!!

There was a farmer from Leeds,
Who ate six packets of seeds,
It soon came to pass,
He was covered with grass,
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds

lol