Man took photos of our kids and put them on facebook...

[Gracie123]

There's a guy in our town who busks and if I'm totally honest we had assumed he was homeless (I know, unfair assumption - just the way he dressed and doesn't take care of his appearance/shave or anything). DS (3yo) often gives him some of his pocket money and he always smiles at us.

Anyhow, we've had some hot weather recently and a friend and I took our kids to play in the fountains in the town centre. The guy was busking whilst we were there and I didn't really think anything of it.

After we had been there an hour or so we decided it was time to leave. As we were going the guy called me over and asked me to remember his name. He then told me to add him on facebook as he had taken photos of the kids and I might want to tag myself in them so that our friends and family could see.

I was a little bit surprised and didn't really know what to do so I just said 'thank you' and walked away. I think from my body language he could tell I was uncomfortable though.

So anyway, I set up a limited profile that I would allow him to see. He accepted the request and then posted this on his wall:

''I'm still trying to get my head round people who join a social networking site, like Facebook, and then mark their site as "strictly private"... and then surf everyone else's "open to everyone" site... if your site's marked as private, maybe you shouldn't be able to access "open" sites?... why join Facebook anyway? When you click on the links, to find a completely blank white pages, with one line saying that this person 's site is strictly private, pisses me off....''

I also noticed his profile has pretty much no privacy settings and DH was able to access all the pictures of our kids without making friends with him or anything. He's just posted them publicly with download links.

They aren't dodgy pictures or anything, but it isn't normal to take photos of other peoples children and post them online without permission is it?

DH wants me to ask him to delete them, but I'm scared of being confrontational. We walk past him pretty much everyday (at least four days a week) and if I'm honest I'm a little bit scared

I don't deal with confrontation well, and I've had dreams about this guy attacking us in the past (don't judge me I have PTSD!) He's probably a really nice guy but he makes me nervous.

What would you do?

Just read your most resent posts. Yeah. Block him. Soundslike it's getting a bit pushy. Report to FB.

Definitely report him to Facebook as well as blocking him, that way the photos will be removed from the site. If he tries to speak to you in town, just keep walking. Hope you're okay.

Thanks. I'm fine.

Having chatted to CPN it feels like I've passed the responsibility on a bit and I'm less worried about it. I'm sure it's not that big of a deal.

I have blocked him and my friend (who's son is also in the pictures) has reported them all to facebook. The problem is there isn't a category of 'this is my child and they didn't have permission to take the picture' so the best fit she could kind was 'This photo is bullying/harrassing me' which isn't strictly true. When whoever moderates facebook sees it, I presume they will look at a photo of two children and say 'that's weird' and ignore the complaint

Unfortunately there isn't a section on their complaints procedure for 'I think this person may be stalking my child'...

It isn't only your children that can be at risk this man might be passing himself of as a family man to gain access. Not saying that this is the case but is does happen. Befriends vunerable single mum with this type of line etc. People appear to be 'safe' if they have innocent pictures of children on their profile, especially singe men.

My DD added what she thought was a child, the profile had a picture of a little girl on it. She plays the FB games. I play on her profile and send myself stuff on them. I noticed that this child was on during the the night and as silly as it sounds the way that the houses in her games were set up didn't look like they had been done by a child. She then started to message my DD, alarm bells went off. I had to block that person to be on the safe side.

I don't know anyone who hasn't had an incident happen on FB you have to be alert.

Also you got to be aware that your house can be seen in the photos and your posessions. There are numerous burglaries carried out, thanks to information posted on FB.

I think you need to tell the police....it sounds like he is harrassing you and probably others.

I know if he had done that to us my DH would have removed the camera! It's not on...weird.

What sections were there OP? Was there not one for "I did not give permission"??

These are the choices;
Spam or Scam
An attack on an individual
Hate symbol
Illegal drug use
nudity or pornography
graphic violence
i dont like this photo
It is bullying or harassing me.

I think I would have gone for the one you did...is there a bit where you can explain more? HAve you thought about letting the station know about him? They may be already aware of him...

No, there isn't a section where you can add anymore info. It's just check boxes.

My CPN is going to check with social services and bring it up with her colleagues at a weekly meeting they have, so I think it's okay to just leave it with her.

As for the photos, three people have complained about them now (under the bullying/harassing thing) and I have blocked him, but used my DH account to have a look and photos are still all there. I guess FB decided it wasn't necessary to do anything - which is probably usually a fair conclusion when someone sends you a photo of two children playing and says it's harassing them!!

'This photo is bullying/harrassing me' which isn't strictly true. When whoever moderates facebook sees it, I presume they will look at a photo of two children and say 'that's weird' and ignore the complaint sad'

Well actually, it is strictly true, and I am very glad your CPN has told you how she sees this. This creepy man is targeting your child and testing your boundaries so he can sense how far he can go with your DS. Do not allow your child to give him any more money or have anything to do with him.

Why does he hang around the library? Are there usually children there, whether alone or with parents?

Keep on complaining to FB. Make a complaint every day if necessary. Follow up with the CPN.

Do not let people take photos of your children. Just say no. Normal people will accept this and understand it. This man should never have taken photos without asking first. He is aggressive and is working on some sort of plan. I would have a chat with your beat officer about this man. I would also send your DH after him to tell him to leave you and the DS alone. And maybe to tell him to take down the photos.