Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Child Scratched

28 replies

babysbreath · 23/03/2011 20:32

My child was scratched at her pre-school today by another child! My DP had to sign the accident book, to acknowledge what happened to our little one. When he got home he had a look at the scratches and there were quite a few, and you could tell it was no accidental scratch! When DP goes back tomorrow does he bring it up with ladies who look after the children? If so,what does he say? I thought he could ask them if this child is prone to doing this, and to keep an eye out to make sure it doesn't happen again. Or I'm going over the top? What would you do?

OP posts:

Tee2072 · 23/03/2011 20:33

How old are the children?

DooinMeCleanin · 23/03/2011 20:33

Are you serious?

Original poster

babysbreath · 23/03/2011 20:34

Three and four year olds.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families

compo · 23/03/2011 20:34

I think they will keep an eye out
these things happen
I wouldn't say anything unless it happened again

orienteerer · 23/03/2011 20:35

3 & 4 year olds do scratch (& bite sometimes).

Tee2072 · 23/03/2011 20:35

Then they are old enough to know not to scratch. I'd take it up with the nursery in terms of discipline, i.e. what happened to the child who scratched? Were they put in time out or other action taken to be shown it's a naughty thing to do.

Why wouldn't the OP be serious? Scratching hurts!

TheVisitor · 23/03/2011 20:35

Preschool children will scratch, bite, pinch, kick and hit each other. They're at the age of learning what is socially acceptable, and staff will be well aware of this. The child who did the scratching will have been "disciplined" for want of a better word, and staff will already be keeping an eye out.

ConnorTraceptive · 23/03/2011 20:37

They won't discuss the other child with you and asking them to keep an eye out is pointing out the obvious. These things happen at this age if it becomes a regular occurrence then you should say something

RoobyMurray · 23/03/2011 20:37

Children scratch. It's just what happens with nursery age children.

They also, bite, push and generally don't understand that what they're doing is wrong. Your child may even do these things one day

I'm sure the nursery staff will be teaching the children that it is not appropriate behaviour, but it really isn't anything unusual or something to worry about.

madwomanintheattic · 23/03/2011 20:37

it's fine. if it's a repeat offender they will put measures in place to supervise.

happens all the time.

nursery have informed you and got you to sign the book (it's only called an 'accident' book because they don't have one called 'deliberate injuries' so they have done what they are supposed to. they aren't allowed to discuss the incident/ s with you in any case.

Original poster

babysbreath · 23/03/2011 20:38

Yes, I'm serious. The other child was put on the time out bench, so maybe I should leave it at that.

OP posts:

ConnorTraceptive · 23/03/2011 20:40

What else do you feel should be done? (serious question)

SilveryMoon · 23/03/2011 20:40

Personally, if it were me and my child, I'd accept that these things will happen every now and then.
I wouldn't mention it at all, jut forget it.
This sort of stuff happens, and the staff cannot watch all the children all of the time.
How many are in the group and how many staff?
I'd relax a bit tbh

madwomanintheattic · 23/03/2011 20:41

who told you what happened to the other child? did they tell you who the other child was?

(i know your child may have told you - but staff should not be disclosing any info...)

geordieminx · 23/03/2011 20:42

Check out the picture of ds on myrofile...he had only been at nursery 3 weeks

HooverTheHamaBeads · 23/03/2011 20:47

These things happen, unfortunately.

Mine have had it happen to them and have most likely done it themselves.

Try not to get to upset by it and don't worry your child's skin will heal up beautifully.

MissusF · 23/03/2011 20:49

Sooner or later it will be your child that scratches, bites or hits, they all do it, What would you want done then?

LoveBeingKnockedUp · 23/03/2011 20:52

It's horrible when something has happened at nursery, but the fact is sometimes kids do stuff like that.

I was going to ask a question that has already been asked? What do you think should have hapened? Realistically what would make you feel better about what happened, nothing!

wonkylegs · 23/03/2011 20:54

Yeah pretty normal toddler behaviour
Scratching, biting, kicking, hitting
as long as its not an over the top and they are recording it and keeping an eye on it, its part of the growing up process
My son has come back with some amazing bite marks (from his best mate) but I know nursery have sat them down and talked them through why its wrong
I have had words when he came back with more unusual injuries and haven't been asked to fill in an accident form - a burn to his finger (they investigated and found the cause and sorted it out) and a carpet burn on his winkie (you'd think he'd learn not to put it hanging over the top of trousers....)

Original poster

babysbreath · 23/03/2011 20:56

Thank you for all your replies. I think I'll just leave it, as the child was told off. I think I was just being a little sensitive over what had happened.

OP posts:

geordieminx · 23/03/2011 21:03

I think when you see your child has been hurt it's only natural to feel angry/upset.

Ds still has a scar almost a year later.

I was really upset, then the same kid did it again a few months later I was angry.

scratching/biting etc is all part of growing up, although I always thought it was worse when it was his face. The first time was mm from his eye.

The nursery were great about it, and after the second time, they got the Childs mum in straight away to cut his nails as they were really long, the also said that I could ask for him to be removed from the nursery, although I ended up feeling guilty and said that I didn't want that. They did however say that if it happened again they would ask him to leave. Think there was other issues though

shaz298 · 24/03/2011 21:42

Yip it's normal toddler behaviour but if it is a repeated incident then I would discuss. If not then you know it was addressed and hope it doens't happen again.

Re not being told who did it, this is just wrong. If your child is assaulted (awaits flaming) and it is assault, then you have a right to know what happened and who was involved. There should be no discussion about any issues the other child has, their situation etc in terms of condfiudentiality but you should be told who did it.

And just for anyone who wants to have a go, the definition of assault is : attack someone physically or emotionally

Intent doesn't come in to it. The child who has been assaulted feels the pain/fear etc regardless of whether the other child intended to hurt them or not.

suzikettles · 24/03/2011 21:50

shaz, out of interest what do you think you would do with that information?

For the purposes of disclosure, ds has been hurt by another child at nursery and has also grabbed another child hard enough to leave a mark. We weren't told the name of the child who hurt ds and ds was put in time out and additionally given a severe talking to by us when he was the culprit.

shaz298 · 24/03/2011 22:03

I would want the information so that I would know if a pattern emerged. Children hit children, scratch, bite all the time. I know this and often it's so quick it can't be stopped.

However sometimes there are children who have particular issues which can result in repeated hurting of the same child..........or in them responding inappropriately to the same/similar situations. Without being meaningfully disrespectful, many nursery workers are very good with typical, reasonably well behaved children but are often not so skilled in picking up on trigger behaviours, patterns and recognising that maybe something else is going on, i.e sensory issues leading to discomfort for a child and resulting in lashing out for example. I speak as the mother of a child with sensory issues btw.

I have experienced this situation, (in school) where my son was hit on several occasions by the same child. My child has physical /medical needs and this was posing a real threat to my child's physical safety.I was able to push the issue of my child's safety and I worked out that the issue was a sensory one and that my child was generally put into these situations with this other child - thus he was the one being assaulted. I raised this with teacher and HT, was able to speak to the parent of the other child and assure that I was not angry with her or the child, but with the adults who were failing to recognise her childs issues and to respond to them appropriately. I'm sure that this played a part in this child getting appropriate support to meet his needs. He and my son are now firm friends.

The instance posted by the OP sounds fairly straight forward, however it is not always the case.

shaz298 · 24/03/2011 22:04

And if my child hurt another then I'd expect the parents of that child to be told.

Flip

1 2