Ask me anything about being a stay at home mother

[Howyoudoings]

I am 43 years old and a stay at home mother (SAHM), which seems to be a popular topic on this platform. My children are aged between 20 and 9. I have worked in the past, and for the last 8 years, I worked one day per week. I was made redundant 2 years ago and am not planning to go back to work, though I could because the business is under new ownership and the owner is a friend.

What is your degree?

How do you get your social away from home? Are you glad you left work because everyone is mean and you have peace and quiet in your little home with your family? This being the case, I presume you don't need social?

I know a few SAHM with this sentiment and they are happy relying on the DH for money instead of strange corporations. So, interested in your view. Glad you're doing what you want to do!

What’s your highest level of qualification?

i just want to say that both DH and I grew up in homes where both of our mothers worked and in fact my mother was the higher income earner for a while and I’m a sahm .

This is a really nasty attitude.

You only have to look at the many many posts from women who think being a stay at home mother is just what they want - until it isn’t. Working one day a week years ago isn’t going to support you and if you think that your partner will support you fully is just bonkers to me.

Sorry
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What! So you define your life solely around your job! What about the books you read, the films/ documentaries you watch, the people you meet, the places you go.

P1 is part time for the first month here and then only in until 1:30!! They aren’t in until 3pm until about P4 and have half day Fridays every week. It doesn’t suddenly become more logical to work if you’ve chosen to be a sahm in the early years.

Equally you only need to look at all the posts complaining about “the juggle”, struggling to find wrap around, struggling to squeeze in housework, cook wholesome meals, sort their DC’s homework and keep up with the logistics of who takes time off and when to see that working isn’t always the better option either.

Oh cmon in a two parent family they can cook dinner and clean their house or get a cleaner. I’ve never seen one post form a working mum saying I’m struggling to do housework and cook wholesome meals 😂

Really? All my friends who work are always struggling to keep on top of everything. The only ones who aren’t have GP’s who pick up kids, do homework, prepare dinner and do their washing so essentially they are taking on the parent role. Neither of them get in till gone 7pm as both work in London so how else would they manage? Unless you have a lot of support or a lot of money to outsource jobs, I don’t know how you wouldn’t struggle

I have saving from when I worked my husband has always paid all the bills so my money has always been saved . I always knew that I needed to have a what if pot ( my nan always told me from young) .

This! It’s easy if you have full time flexible help. If you don’t a stay at home parent is a god send. The struggle of the juggle is real. It causes so many family rows

I think I already answered this ? We have been together since young we did not have kids straight away ( even tho young) , I have worked and all my money has been saved . When I say my money i mean savings in my name, clearly it is both of are money we are married. I’m also not reliant on someone for my life we are married . If we split up does that mean my husband would be incapable of looking after his children cooking cleaning no . He would get on with it the same way I would . You clearly see marriage as something completely different compared to the way we do .

His my husband not partner , I also have savings in my names . Clearly if I had to work I would not work one day a week . Difference between need and want

You’ve never heard a single working mother complaining she doesn’t have enough time after work to squeeze everything in? Odd. I would say it’s probably the biggest complaint generally.

I have friends I still see them , have the occasional weekend away with friends, nights out , dinner etc . I’m happy to rely on my husband the same way his happy that we never had to pay for after school clubs , holiday clubs etc , nursery when are kids were younger . Sick days have alway been covered he could work the hour etc he wanted to. I do think a lot of people never see the other side because they are so focused on one parent not working

mechanical engineering

When I was a kid (I'm only 38), my mum (and dad) worked full time, but our family was the anomaly. Most of my friends' and classmates' mum's either stayed at home or at most worked part time. Now it's such a wild curiosity for a woman to be a SAHM that it's a topic for an AMA! I am a SAHM too OP. Wouldn't have it any other way.

What does your husband earn to make it feasible?

Enough so we are comfortably, with a few holidays a year uk & abroad, have savings no debt we live within in are means .

Nice AMA OP, the other ones like this have always ended up so defensive lol! It’s great it’s working for you and I hope your husband also appreciates that he never has to take time off for child sick days/inset days/holidays etc etc.

Do you have friends asking you to pick up their kids/do childcare a lot?

Thank you , yes my husband’s amazing and he has never even suggested I work more ,get a job etc . It works for us and that’s why I don’t get defensive.
Childcare for friends ,no not really playdates which are always returned.
I did have a “new” friend that thought I would drop her kid to school and pick them up a lot . But I stopped that when they asked to drop their child off in the morning before I even work up .