Ask me anything about being a stay at home mother

[Howyoudoings]

I am 43 years old and a stay at home mother (SAHM), which seems to be a popular topic on this platform. My children are aged between 20 and 9. I have worked in the past, and for the last 8 years, I worked one day per week. I was made redundant 2 years ago and am not planning to go back to work, though I could because the business is under new ownership and the owner is a friend.

I say tidy up as in it’s never really that dirty, but yes I do most of the day to day cleaning .

I did work one day a week , until made redundant two years ago . And because I didn’t want to work full time or go back into work .

No I do most of it while at home , but weekends annual leave etc he cooks and he does wash clothes etc if something is needed . He does all the gardening. His not like it’s your job , but most of it is naturally done in the day

What was your occupation when you were working full-time?

Do you intend to never go back to work even when your youngest is old enough not to need you there for the "Mother" aspect of SAHM?

I was studying while working , ( we had children young) I was working as a manger for a fitness centre .

No I don’t intend to go back , but would if I had to .

If you have a girl child would you want her to do nothing with her life in the same way?

That's unnecessarily below the belt. You can lead a fulfilling life without involving employment.

If your husband became unable to work, or fancied a break, would you take a turn in financially supporting your family?

Are you jealous.

unlike you I see boys and girls as equal and I don’t base my life achievements. Based on how many hours iv worked . But as long as my children are happy and have an education behind them and a back up plan I’m happy

How sad that you think having a job is what defines you, and that it’s the only way to do something meaningful with your life. There’s far more to a person’s worth and purpose than their employment status.

I use homemaker lol

Absolutely not, Id hate being a SAHM 😀

Yes I mean he wouldn’t want to stay at home , but I would I’m not against working it’s just if I have the choice I would rather not .

Do you have a private pension? Also how do you feel about your state pension likely to be very low if you’ve hardly paid in through NI?

I am going to sound harsh here but you are relying on a man to give you your lifestyle and pay the bills? What are you going to do if the relationship goes south?

Yes, maybe I didn't word it very well, I guess in my world parents want their educated daughters to use their education and degrees for something mentally challenging and stimulating.

I dont have any friends who are long term SAHMs so it's not a normal life choice ime

My NI are all paid up to date you don’t have to be working to pay NI contributions.

I find the questions about why SAHMs don't get a job once DC are in school quite strange. Schools in my area get out at 2.45... also frankly you've done the hard years of no free time to yourself!

I’m not relying on a man I’m relying on my husband. If any thing would to happen I have saving and would be perfectly fine .

It's traditional marraige , if you're both happy with it , then that's fine . My Mum was a stay at home Mum, women did in those days. Dad earned the money , but it was jointly spent. People had / wanted less then as well. We only had one tv, a house phone ( before mobiles and internet ) . Life was simplier / easier i think .

Roughly, how much does your husband earn for you to be able to have this lifestyle, also how do you have your own savings, do you take some of his money to put in your savings or does he give you an allowance?

If you havent worked for a number of years then where are the savings coming from and why do you think they are ‘your’ savings? What if your husband had this about his salary?

I guess you can tell it’s something I would never do. To be so reliant on someone for your life?