First cohort of adults diagnosed with ADHD and growing old. AMA

[Imdunfer]

I'm in the first cohort of adults diagnosed with ADHD and growing old with it. It has definite challenges related to aging that I'm dealing with daily. Ask me anything as long as you don't suggest that you think ADHD doesn't exist and that it's just a variety of neuro typical.

Personally I think it would still be a problem, as I’d be a woman expected to look after my family and home 24/7. I couldn’t cope with that.

I am absolutely certain that modern life drives an increase in diagnoses. I could probably write a book on it!

The answer to your question is no. Farm life of physical activity driven by the light not by a clock, no forms to fill in, no banking apps to negotiate, do what has to be done or starve, etc etc, would be pretty ideal for many people with ADHD.

I don't think you can manage it away or train it out if you've got it, but there are certainly ways to tone its effects right down. And in some environments it would be an advantage, which is probably why it exists at all.

Unfortunately they aren't available to everyone.

As I pressed the button to post my answer I realised I was assuming I wasn't a farmers wife popping out a child every year or two, or the last girl, left caring for her old parents.

We would likely be peasant wives, unfortunately.
in my present life I don’t use social media, I don’t do much admin outside of life and family admin (which is enough) my husband deals with the admin of the home. My job is physical and creative, and I have lots of opportunity to be creative in my home and garden. I have a pretty sweet set up for managing adhd, but when you throw in 2 children with adhd and one crazy 4 year old i can definitely see why someone would choose not to have children.

I had a whole weekend to myself a few weeks ago, my first since becoming a parent 15 years ago - and I was in a real downer the week after as I felt so free of pressure.

Do you think being busy reduces your need for novelty, or is that not so strong in you?

Like you I don't do social media and my husband does all the admin except my banking. Which becomes a new story as he has multiple health issues and is 5 years older than me ...... could I actually manage without him after 50 years, (yes of course I'm not brainless) and would I want to bother given how hard work it will feel (that's the big question) ?

Being busy is best for my brain, but I don’t make many in advance plans as I feel under pressure then. I’m a last minute kind of person - I’ll generally contact someone on the day to see if they’re free. Obviously plans with my children and family can be made in advance as that wouldn’t be fair on them otherwise. I guess I like the spontaneity of no plans, so compromise with loose plans and the option to be spontaneous inside of that.

I’ve been with my husband a long time, but pre diagnosis and meds I was a lot more chaotic. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in my thirties but in my twenties and teens I drank a lot, and often, and thrived on chaos as it kept my brain quiet in the moment - lots of terrible, short relationships and lots of bad decisions.

my life now is a million miles away from my life back then. Having a diagnosis was truly life changing for me, as it enabled me to reflect on the past and understand myself and my actions better in the present.

Just to add I had a terrible home life, and was dismissed as naughty at home and school like a lot of us were so the typical undiagnosed adhd girl, who also had to try bringing myself up and navigating relationships with no guidance. It was a shit show for a very long time.

It’s very healing to know that it wasn’t all my fault, and my self esteem, self love and peace have all grown incredibly in the last years. And I'm forever grateful to a wonderful, understand husband who facilitates that for me.

Have you any thoughts on the high association of ADHD with dementia? That’s my main concern. Huge family history of both.

Very interesting thread, thank you @Imdunfer

Coincidentally, I am actively researching it right now, like between posting on here. I am a supertaster and supersmeller (can taste and smell things other people can't) and earlier this year I identified what I think is "the Parkinson's smell" on the back of the neck of my clothes. It happens years before motor or dementia symptoms, but Lewy Body Dementia also causes the same (weirdly sour) smell, caused by misfolding proteins in the brain.

It's a huge worry. I have no intention of dying of dementia. You have all my sympathy.

I could have written these bits word for word. I'm glad you have found a good place to be.

"Having a diagnosis was truly life changing for me, as it enabled me to reflect on the past and understand myself and my actions better in the present.

and

It’s very healing to know that it wasn’t all my fault, and my self esteem, self love and peace have all grown incredibly in the last years. And I'm forever grateful to a wonderful, understand husband who facilitates that for me."

i have grandparents from three different branches who have dementia and parkinsons.
im also a long time vegan and really into supplements as I’m very aware of the connection. Didn’t know about the smell though, don’t think I’ll see dive into that for more info at this time. I’ve been considering that my diet may not do me any favours in the long run, so am also researching how to gently get some animal products in, broth maybe.. (don’t we just love to research)

I also love different smells, can really enhance my mood with a lovely incense stick, or a scented bouquet of flowers.

I think aging with adhd is very powerful, as we better understand ourselves and others. I’m feeling quite positive about it all, especially after sharing on here ❤️

The most significant thing that I have read is that ADHD meds have been proven to reduce the risk.

@Anastasiaathats interesting. How so?

They have. Sadly I found out today that I can't take them anyway because I have glaucoma.

Anyone else I would advise, now I know what I know, to go onto the meds.

They increase dopamine and that sweeps out the tangled proteins.

I do take ADHD medication - the one I take is amfetamine based. It is very effective. I have just finished a 2-week experiment of not taking the medication. It was awful. I left my handbag on a train, was late for appointments, regularly forgot to take my other medications or took the wrong ones, i impulse ate loads of chocolate, impulse bought a load of jewelry and felt generally awful - twitchy, stressed and depressed. I’m so glad the experiment is over!

Whatever nasty name came to mind - lazy bastard, scatterbrain, rude cow ….. etc

@dizzydizzydizzywhat meds? I take methylphenidate but am wanting to try something different as these are great, but I feel like I fall off a cliff a bit once they wear off

Xaggatin XL to be specific

I doubt it. It is due to the media and most of the population over the age of about 40 announcing that it is over diagnosed and making all sorts of unpleasant accusations about why people are seeking diagnosis. It’s absolutely wearing. Professionals working in the field do not think this.

For anyone who does take the ADHD stimulant medication (eg I take amfetamines) if they don’t actually have ADHD, it will be immediately obvious because they will be jittery, anxious, won’t be able to sleep etc. For those of us who genuinely do have ADHD, the stimulants actually calm us down (so the opposite effect to non-ADHD people).

And the longer you live, the longer the list is of the times you've opened your big mouth without being able to hold back your brain and the more things there are in the list to beat yourself up about. That's not fun either.

I feel this so much. Late 30s and already so many horrible things come back to make me feel sick at random times.

I’m on Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine). For that ‘falling off the cliff’ I have fluoxetine and Clonidine, which has been a total success.

Omg
This is so interesting thank you for doing this thread
I am recently diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 50 and 53
I'm on methliphenadate.
You spoke about not wanting to go anywhere,and feeling like there was nothing to look forward to ...can you elaborate more on that ??,does it have a name I can look up ?
I have been having awful problems not able to leave the house at certain times ,and anxiety so bad I go to bed at teatime .
Since starting ADHD medication I have not had these problems,and I'm so calm and in control
But I still don't want to go anywhere or do anything,and I don't understand it ..
But I want to want this ,and I'm lost as to why I don't.
My DH likes to go to different towns and explore,and I'm simply not interested,it's boring ..I've never liked shopping and the thought of trailing round a town just fills me with dread .
I've done everything I'm interested in ,and been everywhere I like and I have no interest in going anywhere else ...I thought this was depression ,but if it is ,I'm managing it alone as I can't tolerate antidepressants .

Oh dear god ..I had no idea ADHD is linked to dementia
Where can I read more about this please, actually I will ask chat gtp in a minute
My mum has dementia,it came on around 70
She was very highly strung and a very difficult character,she did a lot of damage mentally to me as a child... literally so she could cope
Do you know if either parents can pass ADHD down to the child,

What works well for you ,
What advice can you give me as newly diagnosed woman,just starting on methiylthenadate