I come from a gypsy / travelling family AMA

[TowerTumble]

I have name changed for this. I see so much misconception and ignorance around the travelling community and towards families like mine. I've started an AMA so if you have any questions to try and stop this misconception I'll answer everything I can!

Living in a seaside town we have lots of traveller encampments. I am sorry to say that there is often disgraceful behaviour from the travellers and a huge mess left behind. I was attacked by one of their dogs only the other day, had a laser pointed at my eye as well.
This is the norm from the travellers who visit us, together with significant shoplifting, motoring offences (cars with no number plates etc). This is why travellers have a bad name. Until there is acknowledgement that a significant proportion of the traveller community has no respect for the law or other people,and something is done about it, others will naturally be wrongly tarred with that brush.

Living in a seaside town we have lots of traveller encampments. I am sorry to say that there is often disgraceful behaviour from the travellers and a huge mess left behind. I was attacked by one of their dogs only the other day, had a laser pointed at my eye as well.
This is the norm from the travellers who visit us, together with significant shoplifting, motoring offences (cars with no number plates etc). This is why travellers have a bad name. Until there is acknowledgement that a significant proportion of the traveller community has no respect for the law or other people,and something is done about it, others will naturally be wrongly tarred with that brush.

Thank you for wanting to support him. He and his parents will be very grateful!

My advice would be to keep an eye on any racism or segregation.
The men tend to have manual labourer jobs and aren't always very academic, a lot will struggle work reading and writing so supporting this is important. He may struggle to integrate and form friendships outside of the travelling community so as long as this is monitored you'll be fine! It's also good to be aware for any homework that gets sent home (not at age 5 but as he gets older) the parents either may not help him complete it at all, or may struggle with reading and writing themselves. This is more so the older generation but something to consider

Do you think the importance of 'community' above all else fires up the prejudice? Traveller communities are clearly different to settled communities and want to keep their traditions alive. These traditions appear to outsiders to be very different to the social norms of other people and often feel very much like being able to get away with breaking rules that others have to live by. Isn't it kind of inevitable that this will cause bad feeling between groups? I'm not sure what the answer is (you can't force a mono culture on everyone) but I can think of numerous examples of travellers groups in my area causing issues that others simply would not get away with as brazenly. I am sure that there is unwarranted prejudice towards travelling communities but it's also pretty clear that these same communities are often treated less harshly than others would be if they acted in the same way. These threads will often say 'but you probably live side by side with others travellers causing no issues without you realising they are travellers' but if you find it easy to recognise who are travellers, why can't the rest of us?

Because unfortunately mental health has a bit of a stigma in travelling communities and isn't spoken about very much. There is a lot of a stiff upper lip mentality sadly

There have been a number of these AMA threads from travellers and it’s always the same - it’s usually someone who is settled and quite articulate who claims that travellers are all like them - pleasant law abiding folks who just experience unfair prejudice and stereotyping despite lots of people posting experiences to the contrary.

Yet it seems a universal experience to witness mess left after a traveller camp moves on; some of us have even experienced threats of violence if you try and innocently walk your dog through a usual route in a local park or field where a traveller camp has decided set up; we know that the education system struggles to engage with GRT children as they have to have special treatment in law to compensate for it etc. That’s before we get on to the role of girls and women…

I don’t doubt there are good people in GRT communities but the treatment of girls and women, anti social behaviours and anti establishment culture definitely need to be acknowledged and challenged.

From your job, it sounds like you must have had a good experience in education. I know through people who work in education that there can be challenges with some traveller families and communities around attitudes to staying in school, getting qualifications etc. Are things changing or are there differences through the community around this?

I've also heard about some approaches to baby care and communication in our local traveller communities a decade or so ago (from conversations with health visitors not assumptions) where babies weren't talked to, possibly because of a belief that babies don't understand language until they can talk. But this can delay speech and language development. Has this changed or again, does it vary around different traveller communities?

Being a traveller is in the blood line, not necessarily how much you travel

Do you feel the discrimination travellers face is getting worse or better, or stayed roughly the same, or changed in any way? I know people are still making the exact same comments they were making 30 years ago about rubbish at sites etc. which says to me that local authorities are still failing as much as they ever were.

I feel like it's an 'acceptable' prejudice in society.

Why do members of the travelling community think it is acceptable to occupy land that does not belong to them and when the councils does what is necessary to move them on, leave behind shocking amounts of lotter, rubbish and other waste? Surely respect for a communoty begets respect?

Yes we are very close. My parent was one of 12, I have 36 cousins and the family and children are very well looked after - we are very fortunate

Sorry if this has been asked but why is young marriage encouraged, is it becoming less common now to be sixteen and married or soon to be married.

Were you ever the recipient of ‘grabbing’. Is it consensual?

I certainly don't hate travellers but what i do hate is the total disregard for other peoples/ council land and the mess that is left behind. Why do some Gypsies break onto cricket pitches etc and absolutely trash it?

From the (shamefully little) I know of the history in the UK, the progressively punitive measures throughout the 20th century to force travelling communities to settle, regardless of those communities' wishes & with little or no positive support for the transition, I'd expect there to be some residual anger & hard feelings towards the dominant culture. I'd be interested to know if that's talked about much, & whether there are any political movements to recover the rights & way of life you lost - or is that seen as impossible/water under the bridge? Do you personally yearn for a nomadic lifestyle or are you perfectly happy settled?

No questions from me as others have already asked very good questions, but I just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread because it is very interesting.

Thank you for this fascinating insight.

My local government job straddles education and public health, but often the travellers in our area resist or ignore offers of support. How can we better frame our approach to avoid awful situations such as your own experience with a HV and what key points should we include in staff training to ensure this doesn't happen? How can we effectively ensure the community receives important health messages and access to care?

Sorry for the double question.

No one in my community would ever deny health care. I've taken DD to A&E when needed and family members have had surgery and hospital admissions on the NHS. We would never shun anybody from receiving health care at all. But we do expect to be overlooked or stereotyped against by NHS staff. (Not all of course)

Do you ever read the explanations for the mess that is often gone over again and again on those threads, and then actively choose to ignore them so you can bring it up again as if nobody has ever taken the time to explain that travellers have a lack of facilities due to councils not taking their duties seriously?

This is really interesting.

I didn't realise there was so many communities and your different communities had different standards but that's what society has led to believe. There are stereotypes that all travellers are fighters, messy, shoplifters etc. Thanks for opening my eyes.

You have mentioned you are a single Mum, is that common in your community? I guess the stereotype from shows like My Big Fat Gypsy weddding is that everyone gets married young. Is that always the case?

I remember when watching the documentary that the families are very close, which was nice, but I also remember thinking, this is no environment for an introvert. Do you think it is a challenging lifestyle for a quiet, introverted person or is their upbringing such that everyone becomes an extrovert?

Thank you for rescuing those precious horses.
But in the same breath I have no time for someone tarring a whole community due to some disgusting minorities. The horses in my community are treated like royalty. We have rescued horses in very bad shape ourselves

Fascinating AMA, OP, thank you.
I had a flatmate years ago who was, in his words, part 'Romany Gypsy'. Very intelligent bloke and we're still in touch.

However, I live rurally, and I find that the travelling community is widely blamed for hare coursing, which is a big issue (damage to land and crops being the main thing). Our understanding is that it is done for big-money gambling.

Are these beliefs justified, in your view? If it is, what is the view of the wider travelling community of people who are hare coursers?

I have, but I still don't know why it's necessary to leave things quite so bad. They could still leave rubbish bagged and tidy and human waste contained, ready for easy clearance.