I come from a gypsy / travelling family AMA

[TowerTumble]

I have name changed for this. I see so much misconception and ignorance around the travelling community and towards families like mine. I've started an AMA so if you have any questions to try and stop this misconception I'll answer everything I can!

@Random321 , I'm being nosey. Are you by interest from an Eastern European country? I'm only asking because of your use of "Irish" instead of "Ireland" - I know that - for example - in Bosnian/Croatian/Montenegrin/Serbian "Irska" - "Irish" is used to mean Ireland.

Apologies - my linguistic inquisitiveness is playing up - it might just be autocorrect.

@WearyAuldWumman No I'm Irish, born and raised, still living here.

I'm just really poor and typing and re-reading. It's a typo.

Apologies.

the significance of hair for Irish Traveller women

Sorry - I genuinely wondered if you came from my Dad's part of the world.

ETA I swear I wasn't being snarky - I make umpteen typos myself.

I wish I was. I would be far more interesting and probably better looking!

I know you weren't being snarky. 😀

You wouldn't say 'better looking' if you could see what I look like...Peely wally Scottish complexion and a nose inherited from Dad!

long time ago now, but I have a family member whose children went to a prestigious private school (unusual for our family) and one day their eldest son came home saying he had met a girlfriend at school (he was mid-teens). Of course family member probed, asked who she was, what her parents did, what she was like.

I am not saying the actual 'name' but teen son said her Dad was 'Hook a duck Dave' for example, owned all of the particular fairground game he was named after. He had a LOT of money!

Family member was rather shocked (sheltered life in certain ways) but to be fair she was a lovely girl and by all accounts so were her family.

My elderly friend had two men knock her door and asked if she wanted her drive power washed, she said no…they insisted ‘let me show how good it’ll look’ she said no, she didn’t want it done, ‘look, I’ll just do a bit to show you…’ she felt very intimidated. She said if they didn’t leave, she’d phone the police, whereupon she was given a barrage of abuse and middle finger gestures!! So, yes, harassed ‘by two hardworking men looking for work’ 🙄

All I know is it's not obvious to me - I've never in my life thought I could tell a traveller by looking. Like the OP, you're not saying what these tell-tale signs are. What are they? What do you imagine we can see?

Maybe you're "refused service" when places are fully booked, and you're not actually followed in shops, or at least not any more than anyone else, and you're bring a bit paranoid? Or maybe if these things are happening, it's because you arrived in large groups that were being loud and obnoxious? People aren't going to want groups that are foul-mouthed and aggressive and putting off other customers. But there isn't some magic ability to spot travellers, who are just ordinary-looking white people like the majority of Brits.

I find this bizarre tbh. I am no great people watcher but can spot a traveller group easily. We are very good at recognising patters and the hair, fashion and the make up of the group makes it a doddle. There is a facial look too and while an individual could blend into a crowd a few together is easy to see. I mean you can sometimes spot the group because you first noticed security trailing them. The accent is so distinctive too - it’s really not paranoia for people in the community to think they are recognisable. It’s true for most of us isn’t it-we look like our tribe whether that reflects upbringing, education or culture. For travellers whose experience of these had less diversity than the visual signifiers are likely to be stronger.

I’m Irish, not a traveller, and travellers can often be recognised because of their dress and accent. Some names are common in the travelling community but non-travellers share the name too.

I’m Irish, and it’s absolutely clear to me when I meet a Traveller. I can imagine that many British people would not be able to distinguish, though.

Did the children talk about "my teachers"?

No, they talked about Mrs x, Miss y, etc.

That list of names is interesting. I live in a "British Gypsy" area. They call themselves Gypsy and the list of likely names is totally different. Not listing them here. Intermarriage is very common so the names are also carried by non Gypsies. Some women keep their own name when they marry.

Are they Romani or Irish Traveller or both? Because Roma names will obviously be very different.

It's a pity the C5 series "Gypsy Kids- Our Secret World" doesn't seem to be available to watch anywhere now. I found it very interesting and eye opening.

It’s a shame OP left due to questions about filth left behind by other travellers, I understand that’s not her experience but she would have a better idea than most of us why this happens and I feel it’s the major reason people are so prejudiced against the travelling community.

I don't know. They have been in the area for hundreds of years. I don't think they think of themselves as anything but or "British" "English" in the same way that I think of myself as English even though its likely that I have ancestors who came over with William the Conquerer (French surnames) Most of the people I knew were my NHS patients so I wasn't in a position to ask them personal questions.

I think it's because they have been forced on quickly, often have little idea where they are heading to next and leave very hurriedly, so bagging up rubbish and taking it with them isn't a priority. Life for those who travel is extremely stressful, conditions are very harsh and they feel constantly discriminated against, so they probably aren't that concerned that the council (who deny them proper halting sites) have to clean up after.

How do you tell, though? I've asked about three people that question on this thread and nobody answers.

What sort of dress? What's different about it?

You’d know from the surnames though? You said they were totally different from ones mentioned upthread so I was just wondering about that.

I would challenge the idea that "conditions are very harsh". They rightly create comfortable living conditions in their caravans. I don't doubt there are negative feelings and discrimination perceived or otherwise. However. Perhaps there could be a small group with responsibility for leaving sites in a decent state? Perhaps working with a the council? I don't think some bagged up rubbish would be a problem, it's other stuff which just indicates a lack of awareness, care and respect.
However, I suspect it would be very difficult to progress on this.