Married to husband with aspd

[ByGoldHedgehog]

Hi all,

Going anon for this but decided to start the thread in case anyone is interested as it's probably a rare enough situation.

What's your question? Living ASPD is challenging

What are his good qualities?

What are his most challenging behaviors?

Did you know he had ASPD before marriage?

How do you shake the knowledge that people with ASPD may not be able to love people without thinking of it as transactional/ a way of using someone?

Are they ever cruel to you?

Antisocial Personality Disorder? Why?

Every relationship with another adult is transactional. Don't be daft

I assume because they love each other?

Perhaps the OP can answer for herself.

They sure can but the wording was pretty unpleasant so I probably wouldn’t have.

If my DH said something was talking about my diagnosis and someone asked why he married me because of it- he’d be so upset. It’s not the same but do try and think before you type.

It would be greatly appreciated if you kept your opinions to yourself. Thanks.

Did you miss the part where this is a public forum?

Did you miss the part where one person is doing an AMA and you're answering for them? I'm not interested in what you have to say. Start your own thread.

Girl you keep replying, I just informed you that you weren’t very kind. You can move on.

I'm not interested if you think I'm kind or not. I'm not interested in anything you have to say. I politely asked you to keep your opinions to yourself yet here you are.

If you’re not interested in anything I have to say, why are you replying to me? Public remember.

Well this went well

I'm obviously a sucker for the inane.

Clearly.

I'm surprised you're so self aware. Taking over someone's thread is usually a sign of self absorption.

He is very practical, efficient, and intuitive, so he can be very thoughtful and caring.
The behaviours I find most challenging are probably his impulsiveness and mood swings.

Yes, I knew about it before we got married, and I wouldn't have done this if I didn't believe he loved me.

Edit: I missed the last part of your post. Yes, there have been times when he has been cruel.

Because a person is more than just a diagnosis

Has he been formally diagnosed? If so, how did the diagnosis come about?

He was formally diagnosed following an assessment during a legal case. That was before we got together.

I have a family member with diagnosed ASPD, he’s basically a psychopath. ( I don’t say that lightly). It would be impossible for him to truly love someone, he could only ever put his own needs and desires first. My question is why do you believe he loves you? Would he put your needs before his own if necessary?

He will generally put his own needs first but he makes compromises. I admit that this can be hurtful at times but he does show me that he loves me in his own way. I had a health scare last year and he was upset by it all.