I still breastfeed my 5 year-old

[TandemFeeder]

I’ve had another baby too so am now a tandem feeder. Happy to answer any questions.

Apart from short periods of part time when my babies were small, I’ve worked full time for over 30 years.
A breastfeed in the morning or night takes about 5 mins, and at age 3 or older the child only has it if mum is about.
Both self weaned when they were ready.

Not to answer on behalf of OP but I bf until 3-4 and travelled a lot for work at that time - whole weeks away in different countries/continents, and other than needing to express for comfort (especially in the early days when he fed a lot), my baby/toddler adapted just fine. My husband had his own way of settling to sleep and comforting, obviously not involving breasts. Now that my child is much older and hadn't bf for many years, it's harder to be away because he moans about anything I'm missing and isn't as easily distracted!

Mine once described the memory as like the best hug ever so I think children are fine remembering.

Lucky you did regular hours. Bras and pumps at work? Honestly most women don’t want this and why should they feel second class and failures.

Your regular reminder that humans biological weaning age is somewhere between 2 and 7 years of age...

I'm fascinated to know what people think happens to breastmilk when babies or toddlers hit arbitrary deadlines. Do the nutrients disappear, in your minds?

Why would they feel like second class or failures?

This was in response to whoever asked if you can ever have a night away

I’m so sorry, I missed this earlier.

I’m also sorry to hear how much he struggled, being bullied is never acceptable and I’m sorry he went through that as a result.
May I ask you some other questions? How old was he fed until? Were you fed as well or just him?

My children self weaned between 3.5 and 6 years old. During one year, I was nursing three children.

I found that nursing the older one for one minute per side, reduces the milk pressure for the younger two, especially after your milk comes back in after a new baby.

Placing your nursing baby on one side with a sibling on the other (rugby hold and a good pillow) builds strong sibling bonds. The child often held the hands and stroked the face of the younger baby whilst they nursed.

They are much older now with the oldest two at university and college. They know they were breastfeed as nursery/reception aged children and this has not stopped them doing well.

Nursing a 6 year old child (at bedtime, a couple times a week), is just as natural as a nursing a new born baby (on demand day and night). It is so frustrating that the world holds up one of these actions, as supportive and the other as destructive, when they are both stages of the same loving mother child dryad.

I guess people don't understand unless they have nursed an older child themselves. After all no one sets out to nurse an 6 year old, you start with a baby and nursing an older child just happens, day on day as the child grows older.

We all want secure, well loved children and extended breastfeeding is one way to achieve this goal.

Where is natural weaning age 7? People keep trotting this out without a single shred of evidence. I've asked chatgpt and average global weaning age is 2-4. Some places where extended breastfeeding may be more normal.are places like Ethiopia, have a think as to why that might be

I think maybe some are fine and some aren’t.

I actually now can’t bear the thought of my mother BF me (not that I can remember it) but maybe that’s because we don’t get on great. I feel physically ill when she talks about it (as she did a lot when I had my own children). I think it depends on the child and mother, and their relationship amongst other things. I have absolutely nothing against BF- just that particular unfortunate personal side effect.
I admire women who do it generally though.

On these threads people always suggest that 7 is the natural age for weaning but which cultures actually do this? I can’t find any

They get nutrients from food like everyone else. What super nutrients and antibodies are these breastfed 6 year olds running around with that all their friends are lacking?

I was extended breastfed as a child and have never been super humanly healthy. I also remember it and don't like to think about it

Its sad to read all the nasty comments.

They are none of those things and nobody is suggesting they are?

I can only speak for myself but sure others will agree, we aren’t judging those that don’t do extended breastfeeding, and all we want is the same in return.

Also I never needed to pump at work so not always the case

Still can't find any examples of societies where this is the norm? Seems like 'natural weaning age' is referring to the way teeth develop, comparisons to apes and monkeys and maturing of the immune system. Nothing to do with what is necessary or culturally normal

Years ago when I went to classes we weee told that the WHO stated average weaning age was between 4 and 7. I can’t see that information now, I have read the WHO now say average weaning age worldwide is 4. So maybe they used to say that? Or maybe it is incorrect? Not sure. But I suppose it’s the average so some will be off breastmilk in a week and others after many more years and the average is 4. And also, I think a lot of western women who do feed older children lie about it. My dentist got ratty about me feeding past 1 so I lied to her and said I’d weaned when I hadn’t just to get her off my case.

Thank you for answering - fantastic to note that so many medical professionals are understanding the value of extended breastfeeding.
I know so many women in their 60s and 70s who talk about how they breastfed their children until they were 3 or 4 years old and tandem fed but 40 odd years ago no one had the internet to mention it to others.
Pleased word is getting around!!

Can one of the posters who do/will breastfeed until the child is 5/6/7 please opine on: if it’s a girl, she still wants to breastfeed, milk teeth all still there etc etc but she gets her period would then do?

I know 7 is not the average age to menstruate but it’s becoming more common as diets change and whatnot.

ETA *please!

I stopped going to a baby group at 4 months when the older healthvisitor was pressuring me to stop BF and introduce bottles and food. Even through advise at the time was no solids till 6 months plus.

Well done OP. I fed my daughter until 5 1/2. It was hard work at times but I am really glad I did it. She weaned herself before losing any teeth. After that she still enjoyed getting into bed for snuggles for a while. She’s a happy confident nearly 8 year old now. It was never something she discussed with friends so never an issue at school.

I don't think anyone's suggesting you should be exclusively breastfeeding children past weaning age. Breastfed children get food and the nutrients and antibodies of breastmilk.

I'm sorry your health isn't the best, but have you considered it could have been worse without extended breastfeeding? I guess we'll never know...

Surely practically every job is "regular hours" in so far as you know what hours you are expected to work? Don't really understand your point.

I continued to wear the breastfeeding bra to work that I already owned, so not sure of your point there either.

With dd2, I didn't pump at work at all. I returned to work full time when she was 10 months old. And I continued to bf her until she was 3.

No one of this thread has said that women who didn't continue to bf are failures and second class. In fact, this thread is full of people being scathing about women who do.

God some of these healthcare professionals are awful, I had a midwife who was very pushy about a natural, no pain relief birth. I saw her once then refused to ever again.
It’s so frustrating how people insert themselves into your life as soon as you get pregnant and tell you what to do.
Well done to you for standing up for yourself.