I still breastfeed my 5 year-old

[TandemFeeder]

I’ve had another baby too so am now a tandem feeder. Happy to answer any questions.

Personally no, I don’t agree with this. Not for myself anyway. My preference would be for him to wean now.

I have never given my DC any view of breastfeeding because I have never discussed it with them. But I imagine that if a child at school had mentioned they were still breastfed, they would have said, 'But that's for babies' - because it usually is. And the chances are that that would be upsetting for the child. It's not a question of bullying.

In terms of sexualising breasts, they ARE sexual. And that is why it would probably be uncomfortable for children to remember being breastfed – because in any other context that physical contact would be a sexual activity.

Which means there's a range - there will be mothers breastfeeding longer, and others for less time.

I've just asked my almost 14 year old. He was bf until nearly 5.

'Yeah I sort of remember mom. I accidentslly bit you once and made you jump. You spilt your milkshake in my hair'

Does it make you feel weird that you csn remember being breastfed?

'Nah, I was a little kid. Be weird if I was like 9 or 10 maybe. Can I have a bag of crisps?

He walked back out to his mate singing Ruby by kaiser chiefs but changing Ruby to boobie.

So why don't you wean him? Presumably as the adult you make plenty of other decisions which aren't exactly what he would choose?

No. And yes.

Yes. And I doubt any mother would talk about BF with these type of people because they have a lack of education and experience of it and would be judged which is horrible . So therefore they just don’t realise how many children are BF.

No question but just to say well done you 👏 following whatever it is that feels right for mum and child is so unfashionable now so difficult to do.

By one year old only 0.5% of babies are breastfed. So I don't see how there could be plenty of breastfed kids at your child's school, unless it was a very unusual catchment ...

Great question. I took me stopping BFing to get any sex drive back. I couldn’t have my breasts touched or anything for much longer - and I only BF for about a year.

They can be sexual (so can feet to some people though) but they are also (their primary purpose) used for feeding. The two don’t need to be mixed, you can separate the issue. If you can’t separate the issue, that’s on you (because you’ve been told by society it’s the way). There is nothing sexual about feeding a child unless you’re fucked up. If you teach kids breasts are for sex then that’s what they will think. If you teach kids that breasts are for feeding but sometimes they can play a role in sex when we’re adults then that’s is a balanced view and the truth.

If my DC came home and told me they had told a breastfeeding child that was wrong or it was just for babies they’d have a talking to from me about how older children can and do feed and how that is fine. It’s on us, as parents, to raise our children not to judge other kids and let them accept that people do things differently not accept any form of picking on other children.

I actually have no real issue with extended breastfeeding. If it is child led I can’t see the issue.

However, I do know such things can, and are, recorded on safeguarding systems such as CPOMS.

In the example I refer to it was a relevant concern and part of a much bigger picture. This happened in an
English state primary - I know of it as it was one of the examples used in a safeguarding training session.

And again you have failed to signpost the actual guidance stating this is a concern. Funny that.

Let’s start with details of the case and who provided the training. Because the recommendation is that there is no time limit on feeding. Safeguarding concerns around breastfeeding are not to do with extended feeding. But of course you won’t source it. Because you’re making stuff up.

Very pro bf but I was very ready to finish at 18 months.

Have you done all bedtimes? Have you found it hard to have any time away e.g. did you have to stay in hospital for your second? I loved bfing but did find it a huge sacrifice and don't think I could of done it for 5 years but completely understand everyone is different.

My eldest self weaned at 5 and my youngest at 3.5. I also tandem fed them. For people saying it's only for the women's benefit. You cannot force a child to BF lol. I'm pregnant and due any day now. And now my children are interested in latching back on 😄. I did say the bf milk was for baby and I will try and express a bit for them. For them it's a reminder of being close and comfort, being poorly then feeling better. I had a great time though no issues with latch thrush etc. I think some women who didn't have a great time can hold a lot of bitterness and a grudge. Also our boobs are designed for this very purpose. I did feel touched out at times. It's amazing how many snide comments and looks and discussion around BF. Yet nothing around bottle feeding which is definitely the norm. I never started a conversation about feeding myself. But always got comments. And yes our culture weans early and bf is still seen as outliers. Co sleeping and bf is very normal for a long period of time in other cultures. Its shame that it's still being pitted woman Vs woman about basic stuff such as feeding.

How old are your older children?

Of course. But previous posters were claiming that weaning at 7 is the global average, which is very clearly isn't.

That was when he was 2?

It wasn't an adult, it was a child, about 8/9. I thought it was such a lovely description.

My daughter at 17 months was still having a bed time bottle which I had to wean her off because it was bad for her teeth; lots of screaming and sleepless nights, however we got there and now she drinks a cup of milk with her supper before bath and then bedtime.

It's not going to be easy weaning a breastfeeding child because of the bond and comfort it provides, it will be hard work but past a certain age it is best for the child

No backpedaling.
CPOMS is a safeguarding system used in many schools. It has a whole raft of categories. As a DSL you will know this and how the system works. People note down manner things that are disclosed that would not be the social norm.

Parents do not need to be informed of things included in CPOMS though they can request information held about them.

As said, I don’t really have much issue with it - to an extent. But it is very much out of the norm in our society, that cannot be denied.

That isn’t what anyone said. They said natural weaning age. Parent led weaning isn’t natural weaning.

My 9 and 12 year olds both still have several ‘milk teeth’ each - not sure what people mean by the full set 😂. I always personally found being sucked on for comfort vaguely repugnant so saw bf as mainly nutrition and avoided any feed to sleep/comfort routine. On dc had a dummy and the other sucked their thumb - no way would I have provided a nipple in substitute, sorry! In the majority of cases it is definitely the parents choice to encourage this.

@TandemFeeder amazing! So nutritional for them x

Thanks for being brave enough to start this thread!

I've always wanted to know if late-age breastfeeding children actually get any milk when they suckle? Can you tell? You seem like the perfect person to ask as you have a plentiful supply as you're also nursing a baby!

I know that when my DC tailed off breastfeeding it was impossible to tell whether my supply diminished so they stopped bothering; or whether they stopped bothering so my supply diminished. They were both around 18mo when they stopped, were both good eater and excellent cuddlers and snugglers, so impossible to extract the comfort element from the nutritional element.