I'm paralysed from the waist down. AMA

[BlossomIsSoPretty]

Female, aged 64, paralysed from waist down following car crash when I was 9 years old.

AMA

I honestly don't know how you survived your losses and the very strange childhood that you had, yet are seemingly so psychologically healthy. 10% of what happened to you would be so destructive for the average person.

Someone else asked if you've had counselling, but do you think that anything in particular saved your mental health? I find you quite remarkable!

I don’t have a question for you, OP. Just want to say I’m in awe of you, I’m sorry your life has been so hard, and to agree that blossom is indeed very pretty. 🌸❤️

What an interesting person you are, thanks for being so open, great thread!

You sound amazing, I am so glad you have happiness with your husband and found family. How you got here from there is extraordinary and would have been too much for most people.

Your mere existence gives me hope. But your actions on top of your existence, and the life you lead, gives me joy. I have no questions, just a big thank you for sharing al this with us. I have no idea how many women will take hope and comfort from your words, but let me guess that there will be many.

you sound drunk :(

When you dream are you in your chair or do you walk? Can you remember what it feels like to walk, run, skip, etc?

Did you have to fund your fancy wheelchair yourself or did the NHS/benefits pay for it?

Are you able to/do you exercise? Do you feel fit & healthy?

Do you care about fashion/style? Can you wear what you like? Do you need to get adjustments to your clothes?

Some women paralysed from the waist down can still orgasm

Thank you op for an amazing thread and for your openness. My questions have been asked by others and mostly answered.

Keep Enjoying life

Did you receive any form of compensation or pension payout from your parents that helped you set yourself up with a home or were you left to go it alone financially?

Do you have to take special care of your skin to avoid pressure sores?

I work in allied healthcare, new to the role and field.

sometimes the amount of detail in someone’s file is almost intrusive, other times I think it would be easier to not have to repeat your story.

how do you feel about that?

Hi OP, I'm a carer and want to know if people talk to you or the person you are with? It infuriates me and I always direct them to talk to the person I'm supporting as they are the customer - not me. Or just generally in public when out and about.

Thanks for the thread :)

@Stressfordays
Did you have your colostomy from the accident or is that something they did afterwards?

The colostomy and catheter came later in life. Catheter I had in my 30s and colostomy in my 40s.

@R053
How did you meet your husband? Was it a long courtship or something you both knew everything was right fairly quickly? Had he had prior experience with disabilities or did you have to educate him in some ways?

Weirdly, we met at the hospital! He has a colostomy too, due to having had bowel cancer, and we were both waiting for appointments and got chatting. His appointment time was before mine and I was called through before he came out. When I came out, he was waiting for me! He asked if I wanted to go for a coffee. We swapped numbers and met up a few times as friends and things progressed from there.
His mum had been a wheelchair user but other than that, no experience of disabilities (other than his own colostomy). I never really had to educate him as such, he just picked things up as time went on.

@Crazybaby123
If you meet someone new, do you prefer that they just act like they can't see that you are in wheelchair amd ignkre the chair, or do you prefer people to actively acknowledge that you are in a wheelchair?
In real life, do you mind people asking why you are in a wheelchair or prefer not to be asked unless you volunteer the information.

It depends on the situation. If its the cashier at tesco then I'd rather they didn't comment on my wheelchair or asking me why but if it's somebody I'm going to see regularly then it's ok to ask me. Although I'm pretty open anyway and will say something along the lines of "The joy of being paralysed" or "It'd be easier if I could walk" depending on the context (in a jokey way)

However I'd much rather be asked than have people staring at me talking to each other abut me. Which I've had happen a few times.

@MJandMe
Do you believe in God?

No.

@PinkArt
If you could change one thing related to society and disabilities, what would it be? Awareness, access, law, empathy etc?
For people to not make assumptions about what I can and can't do. Also for people to not saying "my disabled friend" but "my friend who uses a wheelchair"- person first.

Will answer more later

I appreciate the answer, thank you. I imagine I have been guilty of making assumptions about wheelchair users, or other people with disabilities, capabilities at some point before so I'll definitely be more vigilant in future.

My brother had a complete C1 injury which eventually lead to his death at 37. He used to complain about stomach pain constantly. Do you feel internal pains at all? Obviously you have no nerve activity, but do you have these sensations at all? Thanks for your answer.

Wow! So much going through my mind right now, but just wanted to say that you really are an inspiration. Your candour is wonderful, and even impressive.

I was wondering about the electric wheelchair situation, and whether they can't be transported due to weight or something else, and whether it would not be possible for you to use a mobility scooter - presumably suitably strapped in? I've seen some folding ones that easily fit into a car, let alone an adapted vehicle, and wonder if they would be an option for you.

Happy gardening!

How encouraging to hear from you and that you have a fulfilled life and so many hobbies, unlike so many of us. Me included :)
The current bill being debated in Parliament could do to hear from you. Thank you and 'all the best.'

I know this scenario is completely different but I would just like to thank you.

six months ago my son was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder (he’s 9 months now) and we have been told he won’t ever be able to walk. Currently he can’t sit up or roll over so we know this is likely to be correct. I worry about how we will manage with a wheelchair and getting comments etc from people. I kind of hope that he won’t know any different.

I just think you’re amazing

OP you are incredible . What you have been through would have broken most people .

Thank you for doing this OP. You sound like a great person!

My question is about social media influencers. There are lots of wheelchair users on Instagram etc who talk openly about their disabilities and relationships etc. Do you follow any and what do you think of this way of raising awareness?

So true!

Sorry so to hear that, glad you had your grandparents