I work in a boarding school -AMA

[SkygardenTower]

I know this is a topic of interest for many. I am a teacher at a boarding school and happy to answer and (polite and reasonable) questions.

This was it for me - applying was entirely my son’s decision as there are some great 6th forms near us but he wanted to try and be independent ahead of uni and make deeper friendships with boarders and the day students who live locally. Without relying on a parent taxi (rail and bus connections near us are dreadful, so car is king). There is a gym on site he can use (induction is on day one), loads of activities, such as ski/snowboard clubs and DofE that he can now organise and be part of without feeling he has to constantly ask me to ferry him about in the evenings and at weekends. He might also be fed up with me telling him to tidy his room all the time (House Mother/Dad can take over that quite happily).

He suffers from migraines and when one starts he worries about missing a whole day of school or pulling me out of seminars/meetings to come and get him - now he can got to his room, take meds and possibky be back in class later in the day. He is only 40mins away and we have family in the town so he can have someone with him with 10 mins in a crisis and be home very quickly if needed. Ironically he may chose to live at home during uni as we have a good one nearby/via train to London, but he’d want to live independently, dog sitting for us, sending DH and I off on holidays - he is really keen not to be a burden.

BS for him is about building confidence, independence and resilience.

They wake the house parent (or wake the person they share with who goes and wakes the house parent.)

What happens if a child is poorly - esp regarding needing hospital treatment etc (or who makes the decision that hospital is needed).

We have nurses on site during the day and then general adult common sense. Would you take your own child to A&E for this? If yes then off they go. Matrons, house parents or assistant house parents will go with them and stay until a parent or guardian can get there.

A doctor comes to site twice a week and the students can book an appointment.

How does the school deal with sexual assault? It was rife at both of the boarding schools my husband attended and often downplayed by members of staff.

How do you cope with difficult home backgrounds?

I boarded a very long time ago, and only in recent years have come to realise what difficult home lives some of my peers had. (Most common scenario was of a step parent not wanting them at home.) And one very heart-warming story of how the school did their best to help.

What are the fees?

What's the food like? Sample menus for boarding school often have me salivating, but not sure if they actually serve the same stuff in practice.

Thanks so much! It’s my DD who is desperate to go (we live overseas and there are very few options here) and I who want her to stay, but I don’t feel like I can hold her back.

Report to police.

I am not a member of the safeguarding team but Everyone is trained in safeguarding and to not ignore or downplay.

Really good. Lunch had soup, 3 choice of mains, salads, fruit and pudding. Tea is 2 choice of mains and usually a hot pudding and custard. Then fruit is always available in house as well as toast and cereal.

Ask how many stay on Sundays. We have more on paper then actually are around on Sundays but it does vary from school to school.

I think the same as all teachers in any school as best as we can. Provide a safe environment and care and compassion but know we can’t fix everything. Some of the home life’s are heart breaking.

You seem to have all the answers op, and make boarding school sound so wonderful. What are the negatives to a boarding school, for the kids and for yourself?

£30,000 for day up to £45,000 for full boarding.

As a teacher is it any different from working in a non boarding school? Are you involved in the boarding side of it?

For staff- very long hours, you work 6 days a week and often the Sunday prepping for the next week. It is very intense working environment and very much a lifestyle job. I am not just a teacher I am also a sports coach, run numerous activities, the tutoring role I is very important and the pastoral care takes up a large amount of time.

For students - homesickness, it is a busy environment which some find overwhelming, it doesn’t suit everyone. If a student becomes socially isolated it can have a very big effect on them. We try our best but our SEN support is limited (we don’t have TAs) and struggle with higher needs. If you don’t like the food it is tough.

I don’t live onsite so not directly involved in boarding. The standard day is 8-6 and then Saturday mornings Saturday afternoons is all about sports and matches. I have no social life during term time. But an exeat weekend with 2 days off feels such a luxury.

pluses; small class sizes and you can have brilliant relationships with the students, especially if you do an activity or sport with them, which helps relationships in the classroom. Very strong family vibe among staff.

I suspect it is very much marmite.

Do you judge parents who do not see their children regularly during the term?

Crikey yeah must be awful if you’re being bullied or ostracised by friends (saw this A LOT at a pretty formal/academic grammar school I went to).

At least in the normal run of things you have plural lives / identities / places where you belong – you can spend the evenings with your family, friends who live on your road, go to clubs and sports, and brace yourself for school in the morning.

Is there extensive pastoral support for people who are being bullied or left out? Myst be a brutal experience.

No need for a response which is so personal. I won't stoop to that level.
I'm trying to imagine why a parent wouldn't want to live with their child. It seems contrary to me. The people I knew who went to boarding school had very distressing and traumatic experience.
However, the OP has actually been very informative and has shown some of the positive aspects. She sounds very intelligent and caring and obviously provides as good an environment as possible. Her school does sound genuinely supportive of young people.
Have a good evening.

You gave a stock answer which comes up on every thread about boarding. It always starts with 'I can't imagine...' and then some nonsense along the lines of 'sending a child away' or 'not wanting to live with them' For the love of god, try using your imagination before insulting others. If you don't have the imagination to understand other people lives might he very different from your own - then go ahead, ask in a non judgemental way. But you're not interested, you've come on to share your own lack of knowledge which apparently trumps those of us with experience - ok, so there's nowhere left to go here.

FWIW, I can't imagine why people send their kids to bog standard and failing comps, but there we go, people do - I don't jump on threads to say I can't imagine how you do it. I empathise with the choices people make and the position they find themselves in because I can imagine that their lives are different to mine.

Where do the adults sleep in comparison to the children and what additional safeguarding practices are in place for those who board and overnight?

What's the policy and procedure when children and teens say they identify as the opposite sex? Re loos, showers, sleeping accommodation etc?

Like I said. I am not going to stoop to the level of personal attacks. I prefer a discussion.
You clearly missed the part where the OP's intelligent responses gave me pause for thought. I have reflected.
I like the Michelle Obama mantra.
That's really all I have to say to you, @Thepurplecar .