I work in a boarding school -AMA

[SkygardenTower]

I know this is a topic of interest for many. I am a teacher at a boarding school and happy to answer and (polite and reasonable) questions.

Is VAT already paid on the boarding element of the fees?

No VAT is currently paid.

It was suggested that the boarding /after hours wouldn’t be included as childcare but that seems to have been rejected.

Do you feel the children are neglected by their parents - choosing themselves and career over the children's happiness.

Is it expensive neglect?

Did you board when you were a child?

Are the children generally happy?

What's the good the bad and the ugly with the private school parents?

Can you tell which parents have earned their own crust and which were born into money/have nanny and Grandad paying the fees? What gives it away?

what did you think about the Blundells hammer attack?

Do you think boarding school pupils develop differently to other children? If so, what differences have you noticed?

Do you think you provide a good level of care?

No. The vast majority of students are very happy and often day students ask to have occasional boarding then move to a few days a week.

The students that don’t like boarding we take great care of and work with the parents to find a better solution.

No but I was a day pupil at a school that had some boarding (not really a boarding school but did have some).

There is the same range of parents as at any school - money doesn’t make someone a good or bad parent. You have everything from detached neglect to helicoptering. Safeguarding students is still a massive job and as needed.

Yes. There is a lot of support and pastoral care in place. But being a teenager is a very turbulent time and other teenagers can be very cruel which again happens at all schools. We work hard to tackle bullying but you can never say it doesn’t happen when there are 900 students.

Horrific as is any violent attack of a pupil towards another. I’m sure the school with be reviewing process on how he got a hammer and if any warning signs had been missed.

I know that money doesn't make someone a good or bad parent. From my own upbringing.

I'm referring more to their behaviour at the school. Ie being demanding, keeping up with Jones's, who has the best speech day boot picnic.

I was wondering if those who have always had privilege and not had to work for it are particularly rude, or more tendency to have little self awareness.

@Margaux1 Is it expensive neglect?

Such an odd and uncalled for comment. Where I’m from many boarding schools provide a vital service, to educate remote kids who would otherwise not have access to a secondary education. Many come from properties where you need light planes or helicopters to simply cross the length of the property, or some are not like that but travel to the nearest high school would take several hours (literally) each way which is not feasible. In primary, those kids can access school of the air - so essentially they have always done Covid style schooling even in my day before computers existed where packs would be posted out to them and posted back to the school centre (where post took a long time as often only picked up/dropped off on flying doctor runs). But come high school, kids need a variety of specialised subjects, many with hands on learning (like chemistry), so boarding schools fill a vital function. Don’t give the ‘parents shouldn’t live in those places’ spiel because without that we wouldn’t have beef or as many crops as are needed. How do you think these parents feel reading shitty comments like the one you wrote?

I know a few people who were in this situation and went through boarding schools, have worked with several over the years, they didn’t find it an horrific experience (although one says she didn’t like the food too much), and are all well adjusted successful people.

I'm assuming your school is full boarding? (I teach at a school with approx 70% day pupils and only 30% boarders, which is quite a different thing)

What would you say is the biggest positive for the pupils of going to a boarding school? I think the vast majority of our boarders only board for logistical reasons (which isn't to say they don't enjoy it - 21st century boarding is a million miles away from even the Hogwarts model!)

Yes because they have to learn to live along side other people. There is also a strong culture of joining in and giving things a try. Eg everyone has to sing on stage as part of the house singing competition.

There are arguments, clash of personalities and reconciliations going on all the time.

The relationships with teachers is different too as you see them in very different context at time.

Not that I am aware of as a teacher. I’m sure some of the students will be more aware of it but there is a big range of incomes from 110% bursaries to of the scale wealthy.

There isn’t conscious wealth eg clothes on display.

Interested to know what stage most kids seem to settle in well to a boarding environment in your experience, and what age you think is the optimal time for commencing boarding (appreciating that of course some children develop early / later)?

I understand if you're in the Forces, but I can't imagine sending mine away to board when I could have them at home. It must have an impact. I know you're you to say that they're all happy and well adjusted, but that's just my feelings as a parent.

Mine is a mixed model. 30% day pupils with no boarding. 40% occasional boarding up to 3 nights a week and the rest weekly or full.

The kids seem to love it and often increase their number of night. Even some of the day pupils are here 13 hours a day when they could have gone home hours ago.

I work at a senior school so 13+. I don’t know about the younger years.

Some settle very quick others take longer. The house parents are very experienced at handling this.

Are eating disorders rife?