I've been in therapy over 15 years AMA

[Sofabodatgym]

Tho' not with the same therapist, or modality.

Can you explain a bit more about your comments about them pathologising you? And what that meant for you as a person in therapy? Thank you

What type of therapy has helped you the most? What do you think would be different if you’d never had therapy.

It was when they saw me as 'wrong' and quite frankly looked to enjoy telling me so. Rather than, I was a product of my upbringing, I was having problems as an adult, I was genuinely trying my best to figure it out, and I also didn't always have the nicest of people around me in life. For instance I had a series of bad luck regarding work at one point in my 30s, and I was told I was bringing it on myself. Looking back I really don't agree with this, sometimes the system/environment sucks and sometimes we do get a period of bad luck. But I think my environment rarely got considered.
I feel like therapy has moved on since. And now therapists are much less likely to do this. I wouldn't tolerate it now.
It made me question therapy at times. But there was good stuff in amongst this. And I needed the support so I took the good with the bad.

Thank you for your reply @Sofabodatgym

I'm glad your therapy seems better now.

Nice name @Nosummerontheagenda

Again, it's more the person that the type. An integrative therapist helped me the most. But that is because I felt that she liked me and wanted good for me.

What would be different if I hadn't had therapy? Good question. I think I'd have tied myself up in knots parenting. By that I mean I think I'd have tried to be perfect and then blown that up somehow, I'm not sure how. I think I'd be pretty immature still, and have too much repressed anger. I'd be lost. I've always had health issues as an adult, but I think I'd have been even more ill without any therapy. I also think I'd still be in a rubbish relationship. Maybe in some ways I'd be happier, in an ignorance is bliss type of way.

I'm 66 and in therapy at the moment.. a 26 week programme of CAT.
I have been in different therapy since l was 28.
Spent time in psychiatric hospitals.
Had CBT.
EMDR.
Mindfulness.
ECT( Electroconvulsive therapy )
Some I've had on NHS.
Some I've paid for.
I was drugged gang raped age 28.
I was thrown under a bus age 30.
Left for dead.. become severely disabled. ( ex got jailed for attempted murder).
Had DV.
Had loads of nervous breakdowns.
Diagnosed with clinical depression.
And people still ask me why non has worked.
There isn't a magic pill to erase your memory.
Hope you're okay OP.
Sending healing thoughts.

@Moier I'm sorry to hear of the many horrific things you've experienced. And yes, there's no magic pill. some things can take a lifetime to process. Sending you my empathy too x

What have your ‘endings’ been like with your therapists. How many planned endings did you do and how many times did you just stop? How did you feel when the therapy ended?

Great question. I tended to give notice and discuss it. Bar the abusive therapist, that was a sudden stop.
Group therapy came to a naturally close. I knew I needed individual therapy so this didn't bother me.

Two therapists were short-term therapists only, and the specific outcomes were met, I felt fine with the natural end.
One therapist, whom I enjoyed working with, moved away unfortunately, I obviously had lots of notice and we discussed it. That was disappointing for me, and I found it hard to find a suitable therapist afterwards.
Then two just weren't right so I gave notice, but I didn't miss them in the same way - for different reasons; one was both pathologising (as I've discussed) yet pretty chaotic and kept changing her room/location and being late even though she was analytic so it got a bit much. The other, we had a disagreement (she compared me unfavourably to another client and she wouldn't reflect on this, or it's impact on me) so I liked working with her but I needed to work through this and she couldn't. That was an ending with notice, but a bristly unsatisfying one.
My last therapist whom I've been with a while, I imagine I will always miss a lot.