I am 23, parent to a 3 year old. AMA

[penguinwaddl3]

Ask me anything!

I had my first at 25 which isn't much different. I was trained and working in a professional job and had a house so it seemed a good time. 23 seems young though. My kids are late 20s and early thirties. I'm glad they've waited.

It is compared to the national average age for first time motherhood in England.

Do people ( ie other parents or grandparents with children the same age) ask you how old you are?

Are people surprised you are a mum?

( I was 21 during my first pregnancy, 20 years ago. It wasn't so unusual in my local area then. I get more comments now my dc has become an adult)

She had a child at 20, she was possibly pregnant at 19, that is young now yes.

How do you find baby groups etc?

I had my ds at 24 (19 yrs ago) and even by those days standards I was quite young! But nowadays I'm always called a "young mum". So many parents of teens seem to be at least 5 years older than me (and their teens a few years younger than ds!)

Oh and ignore the misers who only come along to make cruel jones about your thread. They could ignore but clearly don't have the maturity.

So meant to say do you feel young in a bay groups. Does that limit social opportunities for you? Do other mums with similar aged children have different lives? In a different stage of life?

Did your own mum have children young? Were you working or studying when you found out you were pregnant and has it disrupted your plans? How involved is the father, how involved are your parents?

But anyone with a 3yo now will be encountering the same parenting advice / trends won't they? Whether they're 23, 33 or 43?

I think for lots of people, the difference between 20 and 25 is massive.

At 20, I was at uni, living in shared accommodation, working part time.

At 25, I was 4 years into my career and had a mortgage. We had our first child when I was 25 and were very ready. At 20, we were not.

Have you received the same level of vitriol, scorn and patronising from older mums in real life as you have on this thread?

🤣 Great question. It’s quite telling that posters are being so ‘off’ with OP.

I agree with PPs - this scenario doesn't seem especially worthy of being an AMA thread.

I saw it when it had just been posted, before anyone replied and couldn't think of a question, so jogged.

Have since thought of some questions:

How many children would you ideally like?
Was your DC planned?
What are your hopes and aspirations for your family?

She’s not aiming it at those mothers. She’s aiming it at mums whose children have grown up.

Such arsey replies. On most other threads on MN, you’ll see “I don’t know anyone who had a baby younger than 33. I’m one of the youngest in my NCT, at 38” 🙄

Very true!

I think 23 is very young to have a three year old.

I had a baby at 19 and I was incredibly young and it was actually quite traumatic.

People saying having a baby at 20 isn’t a big deal… really?! I think it is today. Maybe it depends where you live.

Where I live, 40 is normal to have a first. (London).

If other posters aren’t interested they should just move on.

I’m 38 with a 3 year old, so yes I’m very interested in the comparison as I cant imagine what having a 3 year old would be like at 23.

OP are you knackered all the time? I like to imagine you’re not as bone tired as me.

How has it impacted your job/ career plans?
Do you feel like you’re missing out socially?
Do you plan to have any more?

Do you feel like you’ve missed out on some things? Do you wish you had experienced the freedom other people had at 20 when you had a newborn and 23 with a toddler?

That's absolutely awful.
What a horrific experience. 💐
If you don't mind my asking, why did you decide to continue with the pregnancy?.

Why are people pretending like having a baby at 20 isn’t unusual now? There’s a lot of passive aggressive, aggressive even, and weird responses on here. 🤪 Of course it’s young to have a baby at 20 is young nowadays. If you’re not interested, you don’t have to comment.

Congratulations on your appointment as Chief of AMA Police, welcome to the role!

Some hideous people on this thread, sorry you've got such crappy responses OP. Not every AMA has to be interesting to everyone, as you can see some people do have actual questions for you.

Do you know other young mums? I think the average age of a first time mum is 30/31, so I’m wondering how easy it is for you to make mum friends when many will be a lot older than you?

Also, have you managed to stay friends with those you were friends with before you had your child? A work colleagues daughter had her first baby at 21 and she said all her friends slowly drifted away as their lives were so different.

How would you describe being a parent?
what are the best and worst things about it?

I’m 25, married, in a professional job but I long for a baby. It hasn’t happened for me this month but my dream has always been to be a mam

OP. I can't believe the responses you have had! I hope you come back.

Do you feel you are missing out on carefree life having had a DC at what, I consider to be, a young age?

How did your parents react?

I had 4 by 24.. Hard work.