I'm just an average gypsy AMA

[GypsyAMA]

I've noticed a lot of hatred towards gypsies on here so I thought I'd answer any questions anyone may have that could help you to understand my culture more. You might still disagree with many aspects, but at least you'll be coming from facts and not stereotypes.

So, how to you define your ethnicity?

Wow! So you remove your children from school because of the potential social aspect that some, not all, will take part in? You literally take their education away from them because of that? This is mind blowing, I really need to do some research into this

@newusername2009

Not that woman don’t have to stay at home but that staying at home is a choice and actually for family life can be a great choice if affordable

There is nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay at home Mum but It's not a choice for women who have been pulled out of school very early and who haven't, typically, worked other than being a housewife and raising children especially if they end up being single parent. There is no 'choice' in that at all.

There’s an old story that goes that anthropologists trying to study cannibalism in Papua New Guinea were always met by indignant locals claiming that they didn’t do it. When the anthropologists pointed out that they all lived in tree houses and got their ladders up at night, the locals would say “of course, because we know that people in the next village/tribe do it”. Every tribe claimed not to do it, but claimed the ones around them did.

This thread is a lot like that. Everything bad is being blamed on other similar/adjacent cultures, i.e. travellers. Meanwhile apparently OP looks just like any British person, yet she is always being followed in shops as they can magically identify her as gypsy. 🤷🏼‍♀️

The secrecy and mystery remains.

Note - the PNG story may be apocryphal, I don’t know.

Exactly, Jehovah Witnesses too. Their children still finish education (it is discouraged to go to uni though) so I don’t understand? How can you rob your child of an education because they ‘might’ do xyz. I honestly thought it was because of some distrust in the education system. That would be bonkers but slightly more understandable (not really but yeah)

@GypsyAMA what happens to the children that have disabilities/additional needs? Are they given the support and care they’re needed or are they expected to follow ‘tradition.’ How does that work with their education then? Does anyone fight for them to get accepted into a special school or do people not really care?

I have two children with disabilities so I’m very interested in your answer

Is there an ethnic 'gypsy' group, with unique DNA - or just a mix of eastern european?

I asked on one of your other comments complaining you got treated differently when booking/going to restaurants, how do they know you're 'gypsy'?

Very interesting thread - thanks for starting it, OP.

However, I was disappointed to read your response to a PP by going straight to explaining about fighting being a common way for the men to 'settle their differences'.

I hate violence of all kinds, so this isn't something I could ever get on board with accepting personally; but if consenting adults wish to do this, that's entirely up to them, I suppose.

BUT the post that raised this experience was not talking about grown men fighting (presumably bare-knuckle boxing), but rather it was involving young boys aged 7 or 8 who were clearly being coached and encouraged in it by adults.

Is this really so normal that you didn't even see fit to mention the age of the boys being encouraged to fight? It's one thing 'helping' and copying dad in his adult pursuits by digging, fetching and carrying, measuring etc.; but are you genuinely telling us that young lads at primary school are commonly encouraged in fights - not 'just' scuffles breaking out spontaneously in the playground, but actual planned, co-ordinated bare-knuckle fist-fighting bouts? This would be abhorrent to most British people.

Not the most major point of the thread, but I'm intrigued as to why almost everybody is spelling Gypsy with a small 'g' - even people who are Gypsies.

As the word clearly refers to a recognised ethnic group and distinct culture, why no capital?

I feel sorry for gypsy children, especially the girls. The misogynistic culture keeps the girls stupid with low aspirations so all they want to do is clean the house and keep the men satisfied. Poor kids. Not allowed to educate themselves, not allowed to be gay or trans.

Times have changed now i passed mine over 30 years ago i am an irish traveller not a gypsy. My children went to college I passed my gcse,s having to do 2 years coursework in 1 year I got 7 gcse,s my parents were very proud.

Looking down the webpage that a PP posted the list of 'common Gypsy surnames' from, they also have unusual first names that people in the Gypsy community are known to use for their children.

One of the boys' names is apparently Belcher - seriously, regardless of culture, why would you ever choose to name your son after somebody who burps a lot?!

That is horrible especially if you have your children with you i never had anything like this in England only Ireland.

There are no 'Gypsy genes' although there is a huge amount of bullshit around this. There seems to have been a large migration from Central South Asia around 500 AD towards the Balkans, from where the population fanned out across Europe by about 1400.

In the time since 500, Europe has suffered several population bottlenecks due to climate events and disease, multiple armies have successively conquered the nations, and there have been mass population movements. As a result, all our DNA is jumbled up; European DNA is all quite similar. Some distinctions can be observed in, for example, Sardinians and Kurds. But you couldn't look at a DNA profile and say "that's Gypsy/Roma".

This long discussion explains how researcher bias, ignorance, and difficulty of identifying sample populations has led to crashing errors in describing the genetic heritage of gypsy people. It makes interesting points (if you like that sort of thing) about the effects of ghettoisation and extermination on an ethnic group, and how those effects can be misinterpreted by academics.

Gypsies do prefer to practise endogamy but it has never been strict - there are no "Gypsy diseases" as there are for, say, Ashkenazi Jews - so the DNA is, in fact, a mixture like the rest of us.

The first time i have ever seen anything about grabbing was on my big fat gyspy wedding. As an irish traveller girl we were not allowed anywhere growing up without a brother or sister. On that show which was terrible these were little teenagers and the show manipulated a scene and put in a bad way. The couple also were not irish travellers the boy was half irish traveller/half English gypsy and the girl was an English gypsy.

Do young people ever doubt their culture and rebel against their upbringing? How would parents deal with that scenario - how would you encourage a child to practice their culture?
I hope you don't mind me asking. I don't have any cultural practices so I'm quite curious

Why do so many use the word 'handsome' or even 'ansum'? It honestly makes me cringe ngl😂 but always wondered if this was part of the cultural language you mentioned?

The cigsanos (Gypsies) in Portugal are horrendous. We have a house there my husband is from there and they’re constantly stealing from our farm and live in absolute squalor. Nothing to want to be a part of and I don’t know any that have come good over there.

Hi Op, fascinating thread. Thanks for starting this! You may find that there's calls for a second!! I'll definitely be reading.

Couple of questions please.

1. you mentioned how boys ask for permission to date the girl. Do these relationships have to end in marriage? Or is it typical dating where the couple can choose to go their separate ways for any reason? How much do the community get involved in whether a relationship is right?

2. you mentioned building a house. I'm not going to ask where. But I'm curious why you chose the location you did? If you're used to living in a caravan, what made you and your family decide this was the right place and time to swap to a house?

3. you mentioned burning the caravan after a death. This won't apply to a house, or would it?

Thank you 💙

Why don't you bloody well read the thread before asking a question? OP has repeatedly talked about the difference between travellers and gypsies.

sconesandgravy

it might shock you to realize this, but you absolutely have cultural practices. What you eat, what you wear, the kind of home you live in, the holidays you celebrate, how you spend your free time, how you interact with friends and family, and the list goes on and on. Those are all parts of your culture. You don’t see it because you are in the midst of it, but it is just as unique and valid as any other cultural group that seems mysterious because you are not a member.

OP you've not answered the question about your origins and how and why you identify as a "gypsy". I am not feeling 100% confident you know what you're talking about.

I find it really interesting that the education thing is what's caused the most conversation. It's just so normal to me and it seems completely unfathomable to you all
The deliberate limiting of education, especially for women is something that aligns with most extremist religions/groups and is done to restrict the growth and fulfilment of women. You say you don't see it as misogynistic but it absolutely is. Lack of education gives women no opportunity to explore a life outside of what has been decided for them. You can say you'd 'support' them if they wanted to continue education knowing full well that they can't. Who is going to teach them? And how narrow would the scope of education actually be? Moot point really because by then, they will have been indoctrinated to see only the one path.
Then, if a woman does end up alone, she is further restricted because she was denied the opportunities and skills to create a productive and independant life She is beholden to the life she was groomed for whether she wants it or not. For all the talk of 'choice' it really isn't an actual option
When it comes to the lower life expectancy, education will absolutely play a part as it does with other groups in society.
The misogyny and lack of education would also contribute to the higher rate of domestic violence in gypsy communities. The conditioning of girls and young women is such an acceptable tragedy

Personal choice after doing my own research
OP, your lack of education wouldn't have given you the skills necessary to 'do your own research' in the way effective research needs to be done. Harsh, I know but no getting away from it 🤷‍♀️

And really, I think all the designer gear, the botox and the fancy threads probably contribute to the opinions in a way you may not realise.
A one wage family who always, always has the cash to flash to accumulate such things and create such an image is always going to attract questions 🤷‍♀️

I don’t think it’s fair to label it racist prejudice when that is their lived experience. I work for the local council and have organised clean up when people have been moved on and it can be truly disgusting. Also shamefully disgusting lorry drivers who will literally shit in lay-bys and throw bottles of piss up embankments. It’s grass cutting season so massive problem at the moment.

Im sure it’s not all lorry drivers or travellers/ gypsies but the ones who do are a societal problem and that should be acknowledged.

Do you think everything about the 1950’s was worse as a sort of blanket position?