I had cosmetic surgery and regretted it AMA

[belfastjun]

Regret following cosmetic surgery, AMA...

Bum tuck or boob job ?

What did you have done? How much did it cost?
Why do you regret it?

Rhinoplasty. I regret it because I had it done due to body dysmorphia and now I miss my old nose and wish I could've embraced it.

Neither

I am sorry, however it’s a lot better than being saddled with a fake plastic arse or clown tits.

I know you miss your old nose but I’m guessing the new one looks fine too?

Clown tits here!! 👋 Also felt complete and utter regret. I hate them and can’t believe I did something so bloody ridiculous. Would never go near plastic surgery again.

How old were you when you did it? Was it body dysmorphia do you think or just a bit of perfectionism/vanity?

I do find it hypocritical when women sneer at other women for certain cosmetic procedures but deem others to be acceptable just because it's a different body part. (and no I don't have anything done)

21 and I'm diagnosed with BDD

Did you have it done in the UK or abroad?

In the UK

In that case, I think they were very irresponsible and I'm really sorry about your experience.

were you diagnosed before you had it done? If not do you think counselling might have helped?

I wasn’t sneering, just being jocular to cheer up the OP. I have nothing against a pair of plastic tits if that’s what someone wants.

I was referring, in fact, to the fact she isn’t stuck with an implant that may misbehave in future, and not the body part

So chill

Yes, I was diagnosed before I had it done and I've had counselling in the past. I used to be agoraphobic and wouldn't leave the house but now I'm able to function normally although the body dysmorphia still affects me.

@theduchessofspork I think it looks fine to other people but I don't think it suits my face. I think I was expecting it to transform my looks and make me feel attractive but it's done the opposite. Now I feel pathetic because I've had surgery and still don't look good!

It’s very common to fixate on one facial feature with BDD which is what you are doing- it’s a perceived flaw and not the reality so it’s important to separate those out and recognise symptoms of your dysmorphia.

CBT combined with SSRI medication can be extremely helpful. There may also be support groups in your local area.

I would advise limiting time studying your face in the mirror and increasing your time getting out and exercising if possible!

I could reassure you that a reputable plastic surgeon will perform rhinoplasty that is sympathetic to your face although it can take up to a year for everything to settle.
However, I suspect you wouldn’t believe me 😬

Everyone has their inner critic and parts of their appearance they don’t like however it should not be dominating your thoughts or causing you distress.
I do think it’s key to address your obsessive thoughts about your nose and recognise that your condition is causing your anxiety

I think the problem is that nothing will make you feel attractive or transform your looks in your eyes because of the BDD. I get it, I really do. I have an eating disorder and BDD is a big part of that. But I also, through therapy and meds, know that it's my brain lying to me. Which is really hard to unravel and comprehend but I also know that there's not a single thing I can do to my body/face that would make me happy with how I look. The only way I can get that is through working on the thoughts that I have.

I’m sure it does look lovely- how about trying to focus on other stuff instead of being obsessed with yourself? We all age and get wrinkles, are your looks really taking up that much of your headspace?

It’s good advice to force yourself to focus on other things as a coping mechanism but it’s worth noting that BDD is not caused by vanity or self obsession.

Its either genetic- a chemical imbalance in the brain with links to OCD or caused by past trauma- for example abuse in your younger years, bullying and/or having a parent who was hyper focused on appearance of highly critical.

I hope you can find a way to accept yourself op. X

Commonly after cosmetic surgery people think now that's fixed, this needs doing (same as fixing up rooms in a home lol).
Have you found yourself planning your next procedure, even whilst you're aware of your BDD? X

Definitely not having any more because I don't think it would solve anything for me and it would just lead to me wanting more things done. And I think it's a waste of money

Thank you for your advice.

I've been on antidepressants for ages and also done all the various types of therapy. It's manageable at the moment, I try not to focus on it too much.

I also know there's not a single thing I can do to my body/face that would make me happy with how I look.

This is where I'm at now. That's part of the reason I regret it because it didn't 'fix' any of my problems so was a big waste of money!

I know you’ve had a lot of therapy but it sounds like it’s worth working on just letting go of the past and focusing forward.

I haven’t had plastic surgery (although if I manage to loose the weight I should some hacking off of loose skin will inevitably be in order) - but I have wasted huge amounts of cash and make some crappy decisions.

It’s just so much easier to move forward if you aren’t dragging the weight of what you did in the past behind you. Easier said than done I know but worth keeping at. I think therapy / counselling / self help is always worth sticking at.