I am a woman earning £500k+ a year

[Alljan]

Divorced, co-parent mum of 2.

in response to other thread, happy to answer any questions

Getting on a flight back from the US if there’s a delay!

Given the newly qualified starting salary for teachers is £30,000 - £35,000 depending on location, I highly doubt “most” teachers are on less than £40k.

Also, I’m not talking about being best friends with people. How can one claim not to know their children’s teacher or headteacher, or their GP or dentist?

It’s just classic race-to-the-bottom MN BS.

Do you ever worry that what your doing is not sustainable?

At what age do you expect to become financially free (essentially when you can live on investments and not have to work)?

Yes I do think what I am paid is mad. But its a general capitalism thing where companies compete for talent and then US tech firms in particular grant a lot of shares to senior employees which makes the comp quite a lot higher than if I worked for a UK plc.

clearly my job doesn’t have the specific worth of a teacher or doctor but for them to be paid more (as they should be), it needs a greater tax take for the country which my high pay contributes to. Teachers etc don’t have the same corporate market for their skills.

and yes i give to charity and mentor those from underrepresented background but i am one person trying to do the right thing with all my privilege which can only do so much

It's not a dig at you personally op but I can't fathom the mindset of people with a lot of money not using private education.

For me the whole purpose of me working/building g up money was to provide for my DCs: a decent home in a safe area; the best education I could afford and the best healthcare.

I'd sacrifice everything else for that.

What bother working just to send them to the same school as if you were a very vulnerable/marginalised person?

I honestly can't get my head around that decision making!

Oh gosh not another one of these.
How do you feel sacrificing your presence in your children’s lives for surplus cash.
When your kids grow up what memories will they have of their day to day childhoods (not fancy holidays, I just mean day to day, normal school days and weekends)
Did you come from money? Did you get any help starting off? Are you from a privileged background yourself?
Did you always want children?

It's the starting salary now, most teachers who were already in the profession are on less/the same - so sub 40k.

I don't count people I see for ten minutes every year or six months as people I know. I have no idea when their birthday is or what they like to eat or any other information other than their name and what they look like. Usually I only know them for a few years before they're replaced with someone else, I couldn't tell you the names of any of them off the top of my head. Maybe you go to the doctor every ten minutes, I go once a year.

Urgh, sorry to hear that, it’s super hard. I wasn’t able to be myself without a tonne of judgement/abuse at home which should be a safe space which in the end gave me the mental strength to leave. We’ve both however kept focused on the kids being the highest priority so I have had to move past what he did to me to enable co parenting to work well which it is.

Ultimately being a high earner enabled me just to leave and not have some much of the day to day financial torment that most experience on splitting up so the ambition and drive you have will create your safety net

Go for you OP & thanks for doing the AMA.

I work in a male dominated sector too and earn well, albeit nowhere near your salary.

Just curious:

1. Did you adapt your communication style/natural tendencies in order to progress (slightly ashamed to say I did slightly but it was a case of needing too to progress)?

2. Do you believe in gender quotas (I don't)

3. Top 3 pieces of best advice if you don't mind

Sometimes yes but I also want to enjoy my 40s and have great experiences with the kids so I am not inclined to take an extreme approach for the future

I binge mumsnet while eating lunch!

Current company is very even male female in senior non software engineering positions so it’s something that I haven’t dealt with recently.

Loads if it in the past when in consulting etc though. My best tip would be to focus on developing a clear, concise communication style. My experience is those that can express themselves with clarity can cut through the noise and avoid some of the stereotypical typecasting

just to clarify my total pay is north of 500k but comprised of salary of 270k ish which gets to the 13k net a month. Bonus and shares make up the rest which are all income taxed as well so I see 47% of those

No regrets - just lots of learnings about I didn’t see red flags in relationship with my ex earlier on. He has a public service type job so I admired that. I’ve not really thought about partners in earning potential terms I guess as mine has always been good!

I am super lucky that my job is flexible so I rarely miss important things for the kids at school and our culture is that if your kids are sick that you look after them and do what you can for work. So I don’t feel I have a different experience with them than other working mums

thanks! I have been fortunate to go on quite a lot of leadership development things over the past few years which have helped. However I’ve not had a mentor or coach. I am a very independent learner so I grow best through trial and quite a lot of error!

Thanks! Answers

yes I got succinct. Style probably the same, just better brevity!
I believe in gender quotas for interviews (e.g at least one woman interviewed) but not for the actual roles

um…not sure I can do 3 but I live by ‘everything is relative’ when ever I am out of my comfort zone. I.e a really tricky presentation won’t be the best or worst that audience has seen so just get on with it and don’t worry!

You said you "studied economics at a uni famous for its placement years spent working." Was that Aston University? It's the only one I know of in terms of placement years but thought there must be others too that do this well.

What do you spend your days doing and how is your performance at work measured? Curious as I'm on the first leadership rung (different sector though).

This is the kind of thread we need rather than “I’m married to someone who earns a lot of money”.

I don’t have any questions though. 🤓

I’m no spring chicken, and I think a late bloomer. Do you think you can succeed at any age?

Imagine clicking on a clearly titled thread, just to expose your bitterness, jealousy and resentment.

What do you do. Do you get to spend time with your kids?

She’s said she’s only earned this high for 2 years.

Remember half goes to the tax man too

I get that you don't want to out yourself but I keep seeing people say they earn well working "in tech" but don't actually specify what they do.

Doesn't really help those of us without connections work out what path we could take 😹

Any chance you can be more specific about what your job is please? Or at least perhaps your previous role?

I find these threads a bit tiresome too but your question is unfair. It sounds like she works reasonably normal hours so sees her kids as much as any working parent would, whether they were on 20k or 500k. Or is your sentiment that mothers shouldn’t work at all, which is a whooooole different can o’ worms, and one I suggest you don’t open because it’s bullshit.