I have a 2 year old who goes to bed late and stays asleep until 10:30am or later

[LateRiser]

I have a 2 year old who usually wakes up between 10:30-11:30 and goes to bed anytime between 11-12:30. He will occasionally go to sleep between 7pm-9pm if he’s really tired/been woken up early and not napped. There are also days where he will be awake until 1/2am if he’s napped late.

Not a chance in hell would I be facilitating this

@LateRiser They are more than ready by 6 usually! But like I say, they’re up by 6.30 most mornings (sometimes 5.30). It words for us. DH and I are usually in bed well before 10!

Mine were really difficult around that age, for us it was a lot about napping - sort of grown out of it, but still needing it sometimes. I suspect that they no longer need the full nap time they are getting, which is why they aren’t getting tired in the evening. If it were me, I would try adjusting naps - maybe do them earlier and for much shorter periods, or cut them out altogether and see how that goes for a few days. I found that mine were okay without naps (and this was quite a lot before friends children could cut out naps), then every couple of days needed a little power nap. But a really difficult ‘tween’ sort of time - but it does pass.

Sometimes not at all, sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes up to an hour 🤔

Does it fit in with your routine OP?

I don’t really have any other questions tbh

How do you work if he’s not up until late morning?

There’s a bang of that episode of Wife Swap off of this. The one where the child was ignored until the mother dragged herself out of bed at noon.

Early bedtime is very much a western concept. Many other countries don’t focus on bedtime in the same way, and still have healthy and sensible children.

If your toddler’s body clock works with a later bed time, then so be it. My only comment is do you and your partner not get any alone time?

I think the concern I'd have is a two year old up in the morning I'd be doing two year old appropriate activities: imaginative play, playground, baking, etc etc. I just wouldn't have the energy or motivation to be doing this past 8 in the evening so I'd worry the next 3 hours would be what? TV , CBeebies has closed down. It's not just a time shift, it's are you offering the same as a toddler up 6am -7pm to yours up 11-12?

This. Adult alone time is a atrange concept. Other countries enjoy having their children with them and eating with them and spending time with them. The U.K. likes to bring their kids home at 6pm and then have them in bed for 7pm. A relative said they only have to deal with their kids for 60mins and dread the weekend as they have them all day, so sad.

the best setup I saw was a family where the kids still slept in the afternoon , so they stayed up late when parents got home from work after 6pm to spend time together and didn’t get up until 8/9am or needing to go to nursery.

OP I feel your pain. DS would never get to sleep before 10/12 and wouldn't sleep in the day. He would
Wake between 7/8 though.
He's 20 now and hardly sleeps still.
Just go with it and find a routine that makes sure you get some sleep -
by 7 DS would have a bedtime routine but played Lego or drew once we put him down

My DS has never gone to bed early. Night owl since he was a baby. Never been keen on napping. Wouldn’t go into a cot, liked contact napping, sling & co-sleeping. So we just go to bed at the same time.
Adult alone time isn’t a thing in our house. We have dinner together, social time with DS. He has a big personality & needs loads of chat & imaginative play. He’s very confident in adult company.
I don’t need evenings to myself. All I’m missing out on as far as I can see is TV shows (my friends watch a ton of telly). DS doesn’t get up early either (his classes are in the afternoon). Works for us.

My DD is a night owl too. I’m not sure if it’s just who she is, or whether it’s because I’m a bit of a night owl too.

If she went to bed at 7pm she’d only have about an hour of quality time with her Dad after work. We don’t have alone time and we wouldn’t want it to be different, having her with us in the evenings is lovely and the whole point of having a family in my view.

When she’s woken earlier she’s groggy and just falls back to sleep. I’m happy to have more relaxed mornings rather than force her up against her body clock. I’m also glad she doesn’t want to start the day at the ungodly hour of 5-6am.

My DD was a bit like this but would go to bed at 9pm and be up at 9am. School is a nightmare for her as she struggles so much to get up before 8am. We send her to bed at 7 but she doesn't normally manage to fall asleep before 8.

The world isn't made for night owls unfortunately :(

GodspeedJune, we’re the same. DS wouldn’t see his dad if he was gone to bed. I sometimes wonder when people spend time with their kids, with modern life. My dad used to be home at 5pm & my mum was SAHM (majority of local women were). It’s different now, and my younger colleagues (I’m lucky to be freelance) tell me that the pressure of two working parents in high pressure jobs is totally unsustainable.

I'm still up with my 2 year old ds. It's an absolute nightmare. I've 3 older children and the only advice I can give is it will pass. Everything has been tried and failed. So now I get most household jobs done in morning when he's still asleep. Enjoy breakfast in peace. Embrace the time you get to yourself. Very odd time I go back to bed. Otherwise surviving on a few hours sleep a night.

paulaparticles, I get up early & work while my guy is still asleep!

Only time I get to enjoy a cuppa in peace, too!

I was an owl as a baby and I still am ! My children generally didn’t get up until 8am . Consider myself very lucky! Now as adults they all are early risers …

You've made this lol I've never heard of it all toddlers I know sleep from 7pm not when the parent can be bothered to go to bed

I had to give up work as couldn't be relied upon with 2 older autistic children and school phoning all the time to pick them up. Work was a break ! Dh has to work 60 hour weeks now so we never see him and I've to do all at home myself. He is up from 12 today but was at my nephews party and slept less than half hour in the car on the way home so tonite is extremely bad and still up now.

My son is a night owl and at age 4 is happier sleeping from midnight - 12 than 8-8. He also sleeps better and we don’t need to spend 2 hours telling him to sleep.
But this comment made me laugh because even if he was up from 6am there’s no way. NO WAY. I’d spend the whole day doing imaginative play, playground, baking, etc… However, a rough daily schedule of his non nursery days.

1. Wakes up, makes breakfast/lunch with his dad.
2. Cleans up after breakfast, put dishes in the dishwasher.
3. Walks or takes bus to the store with his dad. Buys dinner.
4. Plays outside or goes with his dad to the library for some comics.
5. His friends come over around 5pm or he goes to basketball club.
6. He helps his dad make dinner (we try to eat at 8).
7. Whilst dinner cooks we read books or colour in or he does some crafts or Lego.
8. We eat.
9. Has a shower.
10. He does whatever he wants and I might read or watch tv in the same room. He will occasionally want to watch with me and then we watch something “grown up”. Then we go to sleep.

I imagine if he was up at 6 am, we would start the day off with independent play whilst I’d try to get my shit together instead of ending with it.

I think it also helps that me and my husband aren’t morning people so we don’t have the energy at 6am to bake or go to the playground.
This schedule was more or less the same when he was 2.

What was the point in even bothering to comment if that's your only input?

Why are people so rude? So many unhelpful, pointless and aggressive comments on here, what's the matter with those of you who feel the need to reply this way?

I don't have much to input apart from if that routine works for your family then that's all that matters! If it doesn't then maybe try and adjust his timings back by 15min increments very slowly!

Interesting thread - my daughter is 20 months and goes to bed at about 9-9.30 and wakes at 8am. She also has a 1.5-2 hour nap.

I am judged for her not going to bed until late, but DP and I both work full time and collect her from nursery at 6pm, if she was in bed at 7pm when would we be spending time with her? Also her waking up later gives me time in the morning to go and do my horses before she wakes up, and DP’s job is flexible so he can take her to nursery a bit later.

It’s also a cultural thing, I think a 7pm bedtime is a UK norm, whereas in Spain for example, children are out with their parents at 9-10pm!

I think you need to just break this routine firmly. Get him up at a decent time and don't let him go back to sleep. If he sleeps in the car, don't use it. Take a week or so off the baby classes if you can't get there without him falling asleep. Keep him awake from 7 or 8am until his nap time however much he protests.

My son is 2 and goes to bed at 7.30. We start the bedtime routine at 7 and leave his room by 7.30. He then usually rolls around chatting to himself (but happy) until 8.30 maximum. He then wakes up anywhere from 6.30-8am. And that's with him only getting up from his nap at 3-3.30pm.