Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I am a refugee AMA

50 replies

battlescarred · 09/08/2023 17:14

I will try to answer what I can. I may have to fudge some details, or be vague about some things, but I will do my best.

OP posts:
thesnailandthewhale · 09/08/2023 17:19

Hello Op, has your experience been generally welcoming and friendly? I hope things are good for you x

pilates · 09/08/2023 17:22

Where are you from and how did you arrive?

Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 17:23

thesnailandthewhale · 09/08/2023 17:19

Hello Op, has your experience been generally welcoming and friendly? I hope things are good for you x

Thank you

My personal experience has been more than 90% welcoming and good. I have encountered very little hostility directed at me personally, and have bought a flat and had a family and acquired a career here, so life is good, thank you.

There is occasional hostility, but most of the hostility I encounter is directed at the refugee population in general, rather than me individually.

OP posts:
Annasoror · 09/08/2023 17:24

I hope you get more support than hostility, OP. I'm so sorry that you have to read and hear things that must be very hurtful.

Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 17:25

pilates · 09/08/2023 17:22

Where are you from and how did you arrive?

I arrived hidden in a vehicle. I am not going to say exactly where I am from, but I came from a war in the 1990s

OP posts:
Harebell22 · 09/08/2023 17:26

What are your hopes for the future?

SlipSlidinAway · 09/08/2023 17:29

What happened when you arrived in the UK? Did you have family/friends here to look after you? How old were you?

pilates · 09/08/2023 17:29

Are you legal now?

RoseslnTheHospital · 09/08/2023 17:30

Was the UK your specific choice of destination, and did you have a choice about where you were taken via lorry?

fullbloom87 · 09/08/2023 17:48

Why did you choose the UK and not another country closer to home?

Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 17:55

Harebell22 · 09/08/2023 17:26

What are your hopes for the future?

For my children to be happy, successful, useful members of the UK society, - they were all born here.
For peace in my homeland, it is outwardly peaceful,
For various criminals I have encountered in my home land to be caught and sentenced to death,
For refugees to be made welcome in the UK

OP posts:
Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:00

SlipSlidinAway · 09/08/2023 17:29

What happened when you arrived in the UK? Did you have family/friends here to look after you? How old were you?

I was about 9 or 10, there is some dispute about my exact age between my brother and my sister.

4 of us set off, my mother, my elder sister, my elder brother and I. My sister was taken as payment for safe passage for the rest of us. My mother had been tortured and died on the journey.

Only my brother and I arrived. He gave my age as something different to what I thought it was...and when my sister arrived eventually, she thought it was something else again.

I was separated from my brother and put in a British family and a British school. I already knew a little bit of English. I was treated nicely. I missed my brother at the time but when I was out back with him later, he was like a stranger to me and I ran away once.

OP posts:
Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:01

My brother went into a hostel first, then later on we had a council flat between the three of us

OP posts:
Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:02

pilates · 09/08/2023 17:29

Are you legal now?

Yes, all three of us have refugee status, and my nephew was born here ( my sister arrived pregnant) so he didn't need it

OP posts:
MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/08/2023 18:03

I’m sorry, that sounds like it must have been very difficult. Were your brother and sister a lot older than you? How did you sister arrive in the UK? I’m glad you were able to be reunited. Have they also settled in the UK? Do you think they have been made to feel as welcome as you, especially your brother? I often see hostility directed more towards male refugees than females.

Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:05

RoseslnTheHospital · 09/08/2023 17:30

Was the UK your specific choice of destination, and did you have a choice about where you were taken via lorry?

No choice that I am aware of, but UK was one of the places we were hoping for, the reason being my mothers qualifications were valid and useful here, and she thought she would find work. Sadly she didn't arrive. She spoke some English and French, so when we thought we would end up in one of those countries, she made us practice these languages a lot.

OP posts:
SupremeCommanderServalan · 09/08/2023 18:08

I hope that your mother could know how well you have done. She would be proud of you, I'm sure.

RoseslnTheHospital · 09/08/2023 18:08

I'm so sorry about what happened to you, your siblings and your mother. Thank you for your answer.

Did you find it ok being in the UK school system, did you encounter much hostility or racism from other children or adults?

wickermum · 09/08/2023 18:09

Wow. So traumatic. Have you had psychological support?

ShiteRider · 09/08/2023 18:10

I’m so sorry for what you and your family experienced and I’m sorry that some people since you arrived have made you feel unwelcome.

user5563790 · 09/08/2023 18:12

Why didn't you stay in a refugee camp until a visa was processed?

I'm a child of two refugees in the 80s.

Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:14

MolkosTeenageAngst · 09/08/2023 18:03

I’m sorry, that sounds like it must have been very difficult. Were your brother and sister a lot older than you? How did you sister arrive in the UK? I’m glad you were able to be reunited. Have they also settled in the UK? Do you think they have been made to feel as welcome as you, especially your brother? I often see hostility directed more towards male refugees than females.

Yes, my brother and sister were both teenagers when we came - my brother told authorities he was 18 when we arrived and got arrested, but I don't think he actually was. My sister is a year younger.

My sister was helped here by lots of people and different charities. My brother is the one who didn't settle down much. Lots of our people went home when the war ended, and my brother spent years undecided. He has been back, and he saw our grandparents before they died. But in the end he was too scared to stay, and especially as we are wanted by the people who took my sister, as some of them are still in powerful positions and they think we could identify them.

Well, my nephew definitely could, just by his DNA, this is why I am not saying my home country!

So we applied for refugee status. My sister and I married and had families, my brother has not yet, but maybe it is not too late! He has had some problems with alcohol and anger, and has a criminal record, but he is mellowing a lot with age

OP posts:
Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:15

RoseslnTheHospital · 09/08/2023 18:08

I'm so sorry about what happened to you, your siblings and your mother. Thank you for your answer.

Did you find it ok being in the UK school system, did you encounter much hostility or racism from other children or adults?

Not really, most children ignored me or were nice, some were a bit too nosy, so I got used to giving glib answers

OP posts:
Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:16

user5563790 · 09/08/2023 18:12

Why didn't you stay in a refugee camp until a visa was processed?

I'm a child of two refugees in the 80s.

I don't know, I don't even know if there were any, I don't think so.

OP posts:
Original poster
battlescarred · 09/08/2023 18:18

wickermum · 09/08/2023 18:09

Wow. So traumatic. Have you had psychological support?

Yes, there are charities that help with psychological support for refugees, and my sister had a lot of help - I had a lot too. My brother mostly turned it down I think. It is a shame, as it might have helped him too.

OP posts: