I have 13 siblings- AMA!

[1ofMany]

I've seen this done from parents of large families before and thought I could do mine as a child of one.

We've all shared and had our own rooms at some point. Bedrooms got shuffled round whenever one went to uni.
We are lucky in that my parents were able to buy houses when they had none or few children so after uni some moved into those houses (shared with each other as all were 2/3 bedrooms) others just moved out when the time came.

What’s the are spread between oldest and younger, and are you evenly spaced? Also what’s the boy/girl mix?

Did your grandparents indicate a view on the size of your family unit?

Did you feel supported emotionally, were you given enough attention from your parents? Did your siblings help with childcare? I can barely give two children the attention they want!

One of the youngest means having tons of toy and clothes hand me downs plus your own, means the very oldest sometimes take you for days out and their friends look out for you even when siblings aren't around. So many experiences at least 1 or 2 of them will have been through before to help guide you.

Bad parts are that wherever you go somebody knows one of your older siblings so any mischief gets reported back to them. Parents had been through it all before so I didn't get the fussing my friends got when sick or fell over 😂

Did any kids go through any behavioural or emotional issues due to lack of parental attention?

Are you closest now to the siblings that were your playmates or the oldest ones who helped take care of the little ones?

Have any of the siblings ever said they felt put upon to have to help out with younger siblings?

Are the oldest siblings, who presumably had to help out more with childcare, the ones who have the most or least children of their own?

Religious, sort of. Maybe by name but not necessarily fully practicing.
She is so lucky she has no real terrible side effects. She does think it has made her teeth weaker though. She's really lucky she had smooth pregnancies (some miscarriages too) but she always says she felt healthier and happier when pregnant. I suppose that's part of why she had so many. My pregnancies were tough and if I had no other reasons, that alone would put me off!

30ish-50ish

Some of us have tiny age gaps, but there is a larger gap between the "older bunch" and the "younger bunch"

Are you close to your siblings now? How often do you get together?

Did your parents have good relations with their own families? Intrigued by what your mum says about always having someone left.

I hear that a lot when people speak of big families so I've had this discussion with my siblings about why we didn't feel we missed out emotionally or on time.
I think because there are so many of us, there is always someone to speak to. We don't necessarily always go to parents for all advice or support, sometimes we would go to each other. So sometimes, in that alone, more can be easier to manage.

The older ones did help in the mornings because they had to take us to school on their way to school. They always offered to take us out for the day too- sisters just because they wanted to, and brothers, I assumed sometimes to impress girls. Because there are so many, them taking us out say once a month each would work out to us younger ones going out quite often!

Are there any twins or triplets?

Attention was fine. If there was anything very serious then our parents would make time. Other than that we just spoke to each other usually and didn't feel we lacked attention because there was always somebody around.

I'm closest to 2 of the oldest and one close in age to me.

The older ones did moan a lot in the mornings when youngest were little because they had to wait around to take us on their way rather than just leave when they were ready. Also that we would annoy them by tagging along or going into their rooms when their friends were round. One of them was tasked with getting us all to brush teeth, and HATED it. We all had jobs on a family rota though!

Older ones all have children, some with 1, some with 2. A mid child has 3.

Get together a few times a year but speak more often on a family group chat.
I'm closer to some than I am to others, that goes for all of us though.

Did you parents use any sort of naming pattern? E.g. alphabetical, nature names, biblical names. Do you like your name, or did they use up all the good ones on your older siblings

How did you travel places together - on holiday, trips out and such? Did you have a commercial minibus, two or three cars, use the train/bus - or just never go places together?

One of them speaks to their family. The other, we don't actually know any of their family at all- my parents are a mixed couple and got together over 50 years ago, so you can imagine why we don't know that side of the family.
We have no extended family so it worked out well.
I have met other children of large families who say similar- that the lack of extended family didn't matter so much to them with so many siblings to fill in the gaps so it might be a thing.

We all have religious names though we're not very religious.
They definitely used up all the good names on the older ones and I'm still annoyed by it 😂

We went to so many places! I have so many good memories of all the places we went to.
We had a minibus for a few years but usually went by train.
They did group bookings so was cheaper per head.
Holidays were usually just UK holidays to the seaside or camping.
When the older ones stopped wanting to go on family days out we had a people carrier, I think it was an 8 seater.

Nope. Just a mother who was seemingly permanently pregnant!

I know this can be a sore point on MN, but are you sad to think that any inheritance you get (or may have had) will be split so many ways, so that none of you get very much - whereas only children and those with only one or two siblings can often get a really big start in life - decent deposit for a house etc.?

Obviously, your parents and your love for them is the important thing, but it's a significant silver lining in amongst all the pain and grief when the time does unavoidably come.

How many bedrooms did you have? I was one of 6 and always felt that was a lot! And we only lived in a 3 bed house

My parents have had this in mind since the first child. They've made huge efforts to buy properties for us to split when they're gone. They also have an account that they've always deposited small amounts into that have built up enough that they have been able to help us all at some point as adults/young adults when we've had a crisis.
They've used their own inheritances wisely for us to have something. Also lots of heirlooms that will probably be worth something.

As it is now though they will be able to leave me more than I will probably be able to leave for my own unless I never touch whatever they leave me and just put it straight into an account for DC.
I have been speaking to them to get advice on this though because I'm terrible with money unlike them! They've just always been able to make the right decisions, buy they right things and invest in the right things. So there will be something at least.

One upside is that funeral costs will be split between more of us so we each take less of a hit. They have life insurance but I'm not sure how far that goes.

5 and lots of bunk beds 😂
Toddlers and babies in parents room (though at one point parents had a sofa bed in the sitting room) Toddlers/young children moved into shared sibling rooms when one of the older ones went to uni or moved out. The ages worked well for that.

Being onr of the youngest I had my own room for a long time whereas the middle ones didn't and the oldest ones only had that for a few years.

I love meeting other big families, so hello fellow child of a big family haha.

Thanks a lot for those answers, 1ofMany - very interesting.

I do think that some parents of very big families seem to blunder ahead and just hope for the best, without ever really thinking or planning long-term; but your parents seem to be the complete opposite of this!