Ask a Muslim anything

[Lesschubtolove]

Another thread on a Quran being kicked about has brought up some pretty ugly stereotypes on Muslims and a perception that we all want blasphemy laws and death threats are part of our religion and that a Quran only matters in Arabic. None are true but it dawned on me actually that there are a lot of mistruths and Misconceptions about what Muslims believe, think or do.

Well ask away… the questions you maybe wanted to know but thought you might get in trouble for or would be frowned upon

i think it’s a case of Muslims being misogynistic rather than Islam. We have to view things In context, the rights islam gave women at the time were extraordinary compared to what was common at the time but it appears we’ve stagnated or in some places gone backward. I too have heard outrageous instances of shura councils issuing and saying utterly ridiculous things to women, it’s almost as if keeping women suppressed ensures them power…. 🤔

Also I’m not going to pretend that shitty things don’t happen in Muslim communities and in the name of religion often by very ‘religious’ people, but a lot of the time things have been twisted and contorted to an inch of their lives to suit certain agendas. I’m not going to pretend there’s not potentially problematic periods within Islamic history or even traditions but it’s why historical context is so so important

I don’t think there is a Surah about her? I think she is mentioned but not to the same extent as Mary.

No there’s not a surah after her, sorry I should’ve been more clear, I meant that she’s one of the women, Khadija and asiya too that are spoke of really highly and the ‘best women’ islamically

I'm fascinated by surnames.

Why do some families, husband, wife and children all have the same surname but some families each have a different surnames e.g. husband, wife and both girls.

Most married women are Begum and their husband and children have their father's surname but some married woman keep the surname they had before they were married and haven't taken their husband's name.

Also why would someone change their name when widowed when they previously had their husband's surname?

Why do some children have their father's surname and some have their mother's surname and not their father's?t

Why do some men decide to change their name from e.g. Mohamed Ankar Ali to Ali Ankar Mohammed?W

I hope you can work out what I mean without using too many names as examples.

Omg me too! I don’t get it, as far as I can tell it’s an Indian subcontinent thing as Arabs tend to have as family name so sara bint Abdullah al-hashimi for instance (I’ve made that up). I’ve asked my husband and he doesn’t know either (useless man lol). I’ve heard that the second name is the ‘religious name’ like Ahmed, Hussain etc but then on MIL family all the boys have mohammed as their first name and then a surname they go by as their first name so I’ve not got a clue really. Is it something to do with how birth certificates were transferred on immigration?

my husband for instance has his fathers surname as do his siblingsd

Just a question about pre-marital sex. Is it also forbidden for men, or only women?
Is there a punishment for pre-marital sex if it’s discovered, and does it differ for men? Is the punishment carried out by the family or the community?

Thanks for replying. I thought there would be a simple explanation but obviously confusing for everyone.

The families I am referring to are of Bangladeshi origin. Sometimes the husband moved from Bangladesh to the UK to marry a British born Bangladeshi sometimes the wife has moved from Bangladesh to marry a British born Bangladeshi. Sometimes husband and wife are both British born Bangladeshis.

However I know a Pakistani family where husband and wife have different surnames and at least one of the children has a different surname to her parents.

A Sikh family all have the same surname.

A colleague once thought the local ladies with the surname Begum were all related, a bit like all the Jones' and Davies' 😀

Haram for both.

its pretty hard to prove islamically and needs 4 witnesses of impeccable character, as in proved to having never missed a prayer level and what incredibly religious person would stop and watch people going at it, so it’s basically impossible to prove but I think it’s meant to be lashes. But super important to know that prior to the 20th century these hadd punishments never really happened, there’s only a handful of recorded incidents of these sentences being handed down by judges. It’s seen as the maximum possible punishment and the judges always looked for an alternative.

Well I have a different surname than my husband, it’s haram to change your surname as you should be known by the name of your father.

maybe someone on the thread can tell us? I’m clueless here

In Sikhism the teachings from the gurus are that different surnames are actually discouraged because they want to ensure equality among everyone and end any type of discrimination based on caste which is a way of identifying if your rich or poor.

So men use the common surname Singh and women use the common surname Kaur.

Of course culturally you do not see all Sikhs doing this but if you were a practicing sikh or following the teachings of your religion closely then you would.

If it is haram to change your surname perhaps Mrs Miah had the same surname as her husband before marriage.

Why would a Mr Mohammed's two daughters each have a different surname and not have the surname Mohammed which was incidentally added to the end of a name he was known as something different for years?

Icelandic surnames are a bit easier to understand imo.

There was a survey in 2015 that found just over half of Muslims in the UK belive that homosexuality should be illegal and just under half thought gay people shouldn't be allowed to be teachers. Does that tally with your experience and do you think attitudes have changed since then?

I know some cultures take the father’s first name as the wife and child’s surname. That could be an explanation too?

I’m Arab so we tend to have family names that pass down generations, but as OP explained the traditional approach is to have “X daughter of Y” followed by the family surname.

Not a clue, I’m not Asian, I don’t really understand either 🤷‍♀️

I really dislike these sort of surveys I’m not sure what purpose they serve other than to say ‘omg guess what Muslims really think’ I’d question the age demographic of people they are asking, if they are being asked alone etc. Reason for asking alone and anonymously there is a pressure to keep up appearances.

I’ve never heard anyone say they shouldn’t be teachers, I can imagine a highish portion of Muslims aren’t a fan of lgbt in sex education or lgbt couples shown kissing on kids tv. But aside from that, it’s widely held that the being gay isn’t forbidden (action not thought) but I just don’t hear Muslims go on and on about it

^is forbidden not isn’t

They are a professional polling company, I doubt they had anyone else in the room influencing. According to their methodology they used one-on-one face to face interviews. Looking at the survey it seems like the younger the respondent the more likely they were to think it should be legal, which is good news since it suggests some kind of progress. 37% of 18-24 year olds still thought it should be illegal though, which is a lot, and the same percentage for the teacher question. Just wondered if you thought there had been much progress since then.

My point wasn’t so much that someone would influence them it was more so just having someone in the vicinity might inadvertently cause someone to give more of a conservative answer due to the ‘haram police’.

background will be crucial to the respondents too, parents education, social status, affluence etc.

i still dislike the motivation for polls such as that, as I’m not sure what overall purpose they serve.

the Islamic stance on homosexuality isn’t going to change, just like the Christian one but I do imagine as time goes on more people will just be unfazed by it, so I imagine the older generation still would be be quite against it and younger people more apathetic. I find in general teen lads quite homophobic anyway, there was a huge amount of bullying and casual homophobia by boys when I was at school (admittedly a long time ago now) but I still hear teen boys/ young men being homophobic, so it’s definitely not just a Muslim problem. I’d wager it’s more men than women that have a problem too, masculinity being threatened and all that

the Islamic stance on homosexuality isn’t going to change, just like the Christian one

There are Christian churches that welcome gay people and that than performe same-sex marriages, which would have been unthinkable in the past. There is always room for progress.

What church performs same sex marriage? I know there are priests in CoE that aren’t opposed to it but can’t so perform some sort of blessing.

there are a few lgbt mosques, there was one in SA but it’s definitely not the norm

There are quite a few around the world but off the top of my head the Church of Scotland, Episcopalian Church, Methodists and Quakers do

So there are a few mosques scattered around that are pro LGBT, South Africa, Paris and Chicago come to mind, there might be more but it would be disingenuous for me to claim that it’s mainstream

Who's claiming it's mainstream? My point is you said that Christianity will never change in regards to gay rights but progress is being made.

@Lesschubtolove

You said nothings offended me, one poster has annoyed me insistent that no other religion has any problems and islamaphobia is perfectly justified

So I ask please provide me with my post where I said islamaphobia is perfectly justified?