I'm an only child of two only children - AMA

[Joshung]

I'm an only child so were both my parents - AMA

My parents were both only children. I do have a DB but hasn’t spoken to me for nearly 20 years, so feel like an only. Have an only. Only grandchild on DH’s side. Did used to wonder what it would be like to have cousins, but then DH has nothing to do with his cousins and hasn’t since they all left home

My parents were both one of 6, im one of 4, my DH is one of 3..I can't imagine not having a million cousins and aunts and uncles!

I have two children and still don't quite feel complete!

Did you choose just to have one child op or did you want more?

I'm similar to you - both parents only children, so no uncles, aunts, cousins etc growing up. I do have (and am very close to/ grateful for) one brother. And for me, friends did fill the gap in some ways - I have half a dozen very very good friends of 20+ years who are like sisters to me.

I now have 3 DC and love my gang. Neither my nor my DH's brothers have kids though (or are likely to) so they won't have any cousins either. I'm glad they have each other. It was definitely a factor in deciding to have more children after no.1.

Do you like being in busy places with lots of people? I don't mind busy and noisy, I can tune people out because I'm used to always having lots of people coming and going. Dh came from a smaller family so doesn't like busy rooms and lots of people talking over each other and bickering about nonsense.

Same here. Only child of two only children. No cousins, no aunts or uncles. It made me determined to have at least two children. I had such high hopes marrying into dh's bigger family but his sisters live abroad and the one with dc is the antithesis of all my beliefs.

I have learnt that having siblings doesn't mean they care about their family.

Do you know why you were an only child? Did your parents want you to have a sibling or were there circumstances outside of their control?

I've had mixed messages on this - first my mum said she had a miscarriage. Secondly I heRd her day to someone else she 'didn't want jealousy between us'. My dad said once that you're more able to control an only child. I suspect the latter explanation is true

Yes I don't really mind busy places

No I didn't actively choose to have one child - I'm currently pregnant. I didn't actively choose to have more than one

I'm also an only with an only. I've never wanted siblings and my son doesn't either (he is an adult now). My mum was one of ten and absolutely hated it, there was definitely neglect and older kids left to bring up younger. She would have liked at least one more, but divorce put paid to that. I thought I would have another but I had a horrendous pregnancy and could never put myself through another. But I have no regrets and having one child worked out very week for us in the end, as we were able to take some chances that would otherwise have been closed to us.

I do have about a million cousins though, and was very close to a few of them when I was young. I was always so glad I didn't have siblings, all they did was fight, I much preferred my peaceful house.