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AMA
Original poster

I'm an only child of two only children - AMA

60 replies

Joshung · 20/02/2023 17:15

I'm an only child so were both my parents - AMA

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 20/02/2023 19:36

@CatsGinAndTwiglets

You sound worse 😟

Do people think like this? How much they are likely to inherit based on their parents' income and size of family?

I've never given it a thought. My dad died some years ago - all I thought about was his awful final illness & how I wish he was still here.

I suppose when my DM passes away in the future (I'm one of 4) we will all inherit something but I would never think about it.

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 19:51

Willowtre1 · 20/02/2023 18:57

Do you think you will have more than one yourself, or has your experience not made you feel you need to have more than one? I have an only and sometimes feel bad for not having a second so they have someone else to reminisce about childhood

I'm having more than one but I'd be just as happy with an only as I don't think children need siblings as such. From what I've seen - my actual experience- only children can feel happy and thrive and don't need siblings - at the other end of the scale - children who are one of 10 can also be happy and thrive

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 19:52

AGoldenNarwhal · 20/02/2023 17:41

Would you have more children or are you 'one and done' (assuming it's your choice)?

I'd have more than one although at the same time I've seen enough awesome only children to feel that kids don't need siblings - they can absolutely thrive as only children

User4873628 · 20/02/2023 19:53

I think that sounds really lonely. I only have one sibling but I have 5 cousins and I'm close to them all. I'm lucky. There was so much love in my childhood from so many different places. If my house was empty there was someone in at my auntie's up the hill or my other auntie's round the corner. I was never lonely.

Do you have close friends who sort of plug the gap? Or do you never feel there's a gap?

Did you do lots of amazing things as an only child? I have three and there are so many things that are too expensive or hard to organise for a family of 5.

SteepleJill · 20/02/2023 19:53

Dacadactyl · 20/02/2023 18:41

Also, do you find yourself spending mega money at Christmas and on your child's birthday presents, because of a lack of family gifts?

No - absolutely not

Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:01

User4873628 · 20/02/2023 19:53

I think that sounds really lonely. I only have one sibling but I have 5 cousins and I'm close to them all. I'm lucky. There was so much love in my childhood from so many different places. If my house was empty there was someone in at my auntie's up the hill or my other auntie's round the corner. I was never lonely.

Do you have close friends who sort of plug the gap? Or do you never feel there's a gap?

Did you do lots of amazing things as an only child? I have three and there are so many things that are too expensive or hard to organise for a family of 5.

No I didn't fi lots of amazing things as an only cud my mum was abusive. Yes I was lonely - but not due to being an only child - more because of an abusive mum / low self esteem. No, being an only child objectively is absolutely fine but imo friends can't plug the gap. That said, not everyone feels there's a gap

OP posts:
Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:01

Dacadactyl · 20/02/2023 18:31

Wow. I just cannot imagine this at all. My husband and I are from big extended families, although we only have one sibling each.

How old is your child and would you have more? Has your child started asking for siblings yet?

My child is 5. I'm pregnant atm

OP posts:
Holly60 · 20/02/2023 20:03

What do your christmases look like?

Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:04

cptartapp · 20/02/2023 19:06

Would you swap half the inheritance for a sibling? Honestly?

I would as a child definitely as desperately wanted a sibling. With the life experience adulthood brings? No - don't want a sibling although I acknowledge that it can be a great bond potentially

OP posts:
Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:05

Holly60 · 20/02/2023 20:03

What do your christmases look like?

Lol - currently very skewed towards my partner's family !

OP posts:
ScrumpyTree · 20/02/2023 20:08

CatsGinAndTwiglets · 20/02/2023 17:16

Nice amount of inheritance heading you way then?

What a bloody stupid comment?

My dad is dead.

He was 1 of 7 siblings.

He didn't leave inheritance to them.

Dacadactyl · 20/02/2023 20:10

Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:01

My child is 5. I'm pregnant atm

Show quote history

Congratulations. My 2 kids are 16 and 10 and STILL ask for more siblings!

Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:12

@Dacadactyl lol I asked for siblings a lot when I was younger !

OP posts:
Comedycook · 20/02/2023 20:17

Wow, that sounds really hard op.

How old were you when your parents died? My parents died pretty young but I do have some extended family and a sister and her family. We had to share the inheritance 😂but I'd rather have my sister than the money.

Oh one more question, how many children do you want to have?

Dacadactyl · 20/02/2023 20:19

@Joshung I'd probably still have more tbh cos im not 40 for another few years, but husband not so keen!

How old are you? And did you find it a hard decision to have a 2nd child or did you always want more than one?

Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:22

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 20:17

Wow, that sounds really hard op.

How old were you when your parents died? My parents died pretty young but I do have some extended family and a sister and her family. We had to share the inheritance 😂but I'd rather have my sister than the money.

Oh one more question, how many children do you want to have?

I was 18 and 20, on my parents' deaths.

I'm open minded about children number. Being an only can potentially be great - but my partner was one of 5 - his dad one of 10 (Irish Catholic) - they both thrived in big families. I'm open minded Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:23

Dacadactyl · 20/02/2023 20:19

@Joshung I'd probably still have more tbh cos im not 40 for another few years, but husband not so keen!

How old are you? And did you find it a hard decision to have a 2nd child or did you always want more than one?

I'm 32 - second child in unplanned !

OP posts:
Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:24

Dacadactyl · 20/02/2023 20:19

@Joshung I'd probably still have more tbh cos im not 40 for another few years, but husband not so keen!

How old are you? And did you find it a hard decision to have a 2nd child or did you always want more than one?

No didn't necessarily always want more than one until I got with new partner Smile

OP posts:
Comedycook · 20/02/2023 20:25

Oh you were pretty young to lose both your parents. My parents were both dead by the time I was 25...I can't imagine going through that with no other family around me. How did you cope?

Original poster
Joshung · 20/02/2023 20:26

Comedycook · 20/02/2023 20:25

Oh you were pretty young to lose both your parents. My parents were both dead by the time I was 25...I can't imagine going through that with no other family around me. How did you cope?

I had one especially good friend at the time - don't know if I'd have coped without them

OP posts:
Frozzie1 · 20/02/2023 20:43

I have one (single/no kids) sibling who lives on the other side of the world and my husband is an only child. We have very limited family. I have always missed having a large family and imagine having cousins for my children. I have 3 children and I hope that they grow the family to avoid the loneliness I have sometimes felt. I know not all families get on but I would have loved lots of close family and family reunions.

SwordToFlamethrower · 20/02/2023 20:58

I have 8 brothers and sisters and both my parents had huge families. Due to family abuse and neglect in childhood, I don't have contact with them anymore.

I might as well be an only child!

glittereyelash · 20/02/2023 21:13

I'm the complete opposite I have a huge extended family ( i dont know anyone with a bigger family than mine) but to be honest it causes problems aswell. Lots of fall outs and people not getting along. I'm close with my own siblings but I barely know the majority of my family.

RJnomore1 · 20/02/2023 21:19

I’m an only child married to an only child.

we had two children as it felt really unfair to leave one with no family at all. We probably would have had at least one more had I not been so awful at pregnancy.

two only children understand when each other need space but it doesn’t allow the big family christmases and events I dream of either.

I don’t really have a question. Sorry. Just ruminating.

dayswithaY · 20/02/2023 21:21

I agree, large extended families aren’t always the happy gang that you see in films etc. There’s always rivalry, jealousy, fall outs.

Lots of people have friendships that are stronger than family relationships because you have chosen your friends.