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Original poster

My Ds has been in a psychiatric hospital for 4 years

258 replies

Sammysees · 17/02/2023 21:24

I know there has been previous threads on this topic. I thought you may have questions about what it’s like for a parent with a child (young adult) in long term psychiatric care. AMA.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 21:52

Orangesandlemons77 · 17/02/2023 21:49

I'm glad he has gone good support, sorry to hear about both the bullying and the suicide attempts OP Flowers

I myself have had episoes of psychosis and been told bullying and trauma can trigger it. Must be even worse for someone with extra vulnerabilities.

I’m sorry you have suffered too. I hope today is a good day for you Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 21:54

ChesterDrawsStickmen · 17/02/2023 21:51

What does he enjoy doing, what are his interests?

He loves history and being on the computer. He is actually in the middle of an OU degree in History.

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Bellabluea · 17/02/2023 21:58

I’m so sorry. Our autistic children are failed so badly.
My DS is going through a bad patch with anxiety currently and my DD1 missed most of secondary school due to anorexia, anxiety and depression. Both are autistic and very bright.
My DDs friend has been in psychiatric care for 2 years now. Similar situation.
I hope your son finds his way through this - you both sound lovely.

MBappse · 17/02/2023 22:00

Prison for buying something online presumably drugs seems extremely harsh. How do you explain that?

How was the decision made you ho from.prison to the Psychiatric unit?

Hugs to you as this all must be very hard

Cocobutt · 17/02/2023 22:02

Do you have to pay for it?

Was he diagnosed in school with autism?

Did prison make any allowances because of his autism?

Do you have any other DC?

Does he enjoy it there?

Vinniepolis · 17/02/2023 22:02

Does he recognise that he was bullied? Was it physical, verbal or something else?

PatagonianCoal · 17/02/2023 22:04

What type of therapy does he prefer?

Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:04

Bellabluea · 17/02/2023 21:58

I’m so sorry. Our autistic children are failed so badly.
My DS is going through a bad patch with anxiety currently and my DD1 missed most of secondary school due to anorexia, anxiety and depression. Both are autistic and very bright.
My DDs friend has been in psychiatric care for 2 years now. Similar situation.
I hope your son finds his way through this - you both sound lovely.

Thank you! Yes they are failed very badly. I wish you and your children the very best in the world.

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Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:05

MBappse · 17/02/2023 22:00

Prison for buying something online presumably drugs seems extremely harsh. How do you explain that?

How was the decision made you ho from.prison to the Psychiatric unit?

Hugs to you as this all must be very hard

It wasn’t drugs. It was a weapon. He was moved from prison because they also couldn’t keep him safe.

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TheFTrain · 17/02/2023 22:06

I don't have any questions but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you and your son. As others have mentioned, I just wish there was so much more support for autistic kids and their families. All of this must have been so difficult for you both.

Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:08

Cocobutt · 17/02/2023 22:02

Do you have to pay for it?

Was he diagnosed in school with autism?

Did prison make any allowances because of his autism?

Do you have any other DC?

Does he enjoy it there?

The NHS pays
He wasn’t diagnosed with autism until he was 18.
No, prison doesn’t make any allowances for his autism
He is my only child
No, he doesn’t enjoy it there. But he recognises why he is there and he does feel safe.

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NormalForNuneaton · 17/02/2023 22:09

A question about you rather than your son....

How do you find visiting him? Do you get used to what it's like in a psychiatric unit?

I've visited a friend of mine a few times when she's been sectioned and I felt quite strange after each visit . I wondered if it's something you get used to

Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:09

Vinniepolis · 17/02/2023 22:02

Does he recognise that he was bullied? Was it physical, verbal or something else?

He was bullied physically and verbally. He wouldn’t admit to it though and expects people to treat him like dirt. And accepts it without complaint 😢

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elliejjtiny · 17/02/2023 22:09

I'm so sorry your son was bullied at school and treated so badly. My son who attempted suicide has autism too.

Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:10

PatagonianCoal · 17/02/2023 22:04

What type of therapy does he prefer?

He enjoys art therapy. And he has a fabulous OT that he does a lot of things with. Like cooking and gardening.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:11

TheFTrain · 17/02/2023 22:06

I don't have any questions but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you and your son. As others have mentioned, I just wish there was so much more support for autistic kids and their families. All of this must have been so difficult for you both.

It has been extremely difficult. I have fundamentally changed from the person I used to be. I now have MH issues myself. But it is nothing to what he has been through and I remain strong (and alive!) for him. He is my everything.

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Jdjdntbhh · 17/02/2023 22:12

does your son have insight into his situation and what has happened in the past and what might happen in the future?

how do you pass the time during visits?

what do you do for yourself in the days after your visit?

XenoBitch · 17/02/2023 22:12

Do you think it is the best place for him?
People say that autism is not an MH issue, so why would anyone be in hospital for it? It can not be treated or fixed.

Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:13

NormalForNuneaton · 17/02/2023 22:09

A question about you rather than your son....

How do you find visiting him? Do you get used to what it's like in a psychiatric unit?

I've visited a friend of mine a few times when she's been sectioned and I felt quite strange after each visit . I wondered if it's something you get used to

It’s something I never in a million years thought I would have to do. I always have a little cry in the car park after each visit but you do get used to it very quickly. The staff have always been welcoming and helpful and I am really grateful for that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sammysees · 17/02/2023 22:15

elliejjtiny · 17/02/2023 22:09

I'm so sorry your son was bullied at school and treated so badly. My son who attempted suicide has autism too.

I’m really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately you aren’t the first person I have heard that from. It can be a very isolating world and I really hope you and your family can get the help you need. Our children are so precious and it’s heart breaking when you can’t get them the help they so desperately need. I am so sorry.

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Crikeyalmighty · 17/02/2023 22:16

My heart goes out to you OP- I have a 24 year old son - he too very bright and adult diagnosed ADHD- I am lucky as he works , has a decent career and is a very lovely and kind guy - but he's not been easy when younger , was bullied at secondary school from 14 to 16 and told some big lies along the way and he's still awful with money. I love him to bits though, so I cannot imagine the torment you have been through. I hope it turns round for him x

Bikeybikeface · 17/02/2023 22:16

Is he on any medication? Has it helped?

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 17/02/2023 22:17

I am pleased to hear that your son is safe and that he feels safe and you are happy with his care.

I'm so sorry he was failed by so many people and systems before things got to crisis.

It is grotesque that we do not manage the needs of people like your boy. The consequences of that can destroy lives.

You sound like you are doing an amazing job. I hope you are getting support too.

Icedlatteplease · 17/02/2023 22:18

DS15 is facing the prospect of a planned admission. Is there any advice you can offer

Has your DS been safe,? I worry mental health hospital can be quite chaotic

bananaAgogo · 17/02/2023 22:19

Sammysees · 17/02/2023 21:44

Buying something illegally to kill himself.

Show quote history

Oh God I can't imagine how awful you must have felt. How was he in prison? Did you worry about him? I ask because I worked in prison and I always looked out for these types of personalities when we had them in. Can I just say that most Officers did their very best to keep them safe