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AMA
Original poster

I'm a Church of England parish priest - AMA

408 replies

whyhere · 03/12/2022 08:37

Baptisms, weddings, funerals, Sunday worship, belief in general - I'm at your service 🙂

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:10

ditalini · 03/12/2022 09:21

Where does your experience of priest-life sit along the Vicar of Dibley (life and heart of the village) to Rev (Urban "oh lord why hast thou forsaken me!) continuum?

The reality contains elements of both and sits somewhere in the middle but, for me, there was a lot more with which I could identify in Rev.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:10

sunnygardenday · 03/12/2022 09:28

Has anyone come to you for help because they believe they have evil spirits in their house, or think that someone has been possessed?

Yes; it's not at all uncommon.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:14

HouseInChaos · 03/12/2022 09:57

How much does it wind you up when people think your job is just on Sundays😃?

With all the admin, legal stuff, lots of evening meetings making long days, annoying people in PCC meetings, trying to keep the balance between progressive and traditional sides of the church, financial worries and the mental burden of just"being there" for people, often at the most stressful times if their lives...how do you keep your sanity, and how close to burnout do you feel?

😀Sadly, it's something that is very regularly said to me. Most people think they are being original and amusing..... (Teachers, long holidays anyone?)

I know that I am extremely fortunate in being very resilient. So, I've never come close to burnout, but over the years I've seen an alarming number of clergy so worn down by the role that they simply have to stop.

I suppose I remain sane for a few reasons: pure luck in terms of my personality; being in constant dialogue with God; looking at the world through the lens of humour; knowing that God has all the answers, even when I am mystified, and will sort it all out in the end.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:16

motheroreily · 03/12/2022 10:00

Do you believe in heaven and hell? If so who goes to hell? Is it just evil people or if you don't believe in God do you go?

Sorry for the heavy question

Life is full of heavy questions 😦

I don't believe in hell as an actually physical place, and I see heaven as a state of being permanently in God's presence, so hell for me would be separation from God.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:17

Twopeasinthesamepod · 03/12/2022 10:08

bless you and thank you for doing the Lords work.

Thank you.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:18

reallyworriedjobhunter · 03/12/2022 10:14

When did you know you wanted to be a priest and how long did it take to become one?

I don't think I ever actually wanted to be, but God kept on at me so in the end I caved in and listened! From the point of making my first enquiry about it, to becoming ordained, it took five years.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:20

reallyworriedjobhunter · 03/12/2022 10:14

Do priests seek promotions?

A few are very career-minded: they're easy to spot! It's never interested me though, as I was fortunate to have a successful (in worldly terms) career prior to ordination.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:21

pd339 · 03/12/2022 10:18

Why do Christians think they are so important and worthy of being listened to in a country where they are a small minority?

I suggest that 'Christians' who think they are important don't really understand what Christianity is.

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reallyworriedjobhunter · 04/12/2022 08:21

How do you support your parishioners? I imagine debt and mental health issues are spiralling.

Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:22

Jewel1968 · 03/12/2022 10:21

Why do you think people are religious? Why do you think so many people are persuaded to believe in something they can't see?
Do you have any atheist friends and if so do you have interesting discussions?
Are there any religions you think are harmful?

I believe that all people are searching, and label that search in different ways. It's not religion itself that is harmful, but people's interpretations and self-centredness.

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reallyworriedjobhunter · 04/12/2022 08:22

What is your sermon today going to be about?

Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:24

NewToWoo · 03/12/2022 10:24

I want to ask the same. Are you 100% comfortable with same sex couples in your congregation? Do you think they are sinning and if so, is that 'sin' on a more serious level than the vices of avarice, gluttony, sloth etc that the rest of the congregation thrive on?

Show quote history

As stated elsewhere, as a Church of England priest I am bound by Canon Law and am not allowed to conduct same sex marriages. All sins are equal in the eyes of God, and I do not believe that a monogamous, consensual same-sex relationship is sinful. However, this is my personal view (which is shared by more and more clergy.)

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:25

Coralpop · 03/12/2022 10:38

The latest census shows that less than half the population identify as C of E. Do you think there should now be a separation of church and state?

I think it's sad but probably inevitable.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:28

shinyshoes5566 · 03/12/2022 23:24

What are your thoughts about churches being empty all week, whilst people are living on the streets? Secondly, why did it take churches so long to get involved in offering food banks? Surely they should be the first to help out their congregations and communities. Is it any wonder that church-goers are dwindling in their numbers, when the non-church-goers were stepping up far more within communities to help those in need.

Our church is busy all week, not just on Sundays, with various community events, food banks, toddler groups, lunches for those on their own etc etc. We also function as a homeless drop-in centre.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:28

JestersTear · 03/12/2022 23:27

Try and get as much rest as you can as the upcoming weeks are going to be mental!

Thank you.

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MammaWeasel · 04/12/2022 08:30

Does your church have bells, and have you ever tried ringing them?

Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:30

dcut · 03/12/2022 23:37

What's your position on transubstantiation? And what is the Church of England's official stance on this? I'm R.C and I was always told that the difference is that our bread and wine becomes the body and blood of Christ whereas the CofE communion doesn't and that Anglicans don't believe in this.
But I've since met a lot of Anglicans who do believe in this and talk about receiving the body and blood, rather than bread and wine.
I've never dared ask anyone because it feels a bit like a stupid question somehow.

You've probably heard the Anglican Church referred to as broad..... Well, that's certainly true re holy communion. Some of our church members believe in transubstantiation, some in consubstantiation, and some simply see it as representative.

(The only stupid question is the one we don't ask 🙂)

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:31

MammaWeasel · 03/12/2022 23:47

What a real gem of a thread, thank you xxxx

Thank you for getting involved.

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whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:32

PurpleSky300 · 03/12/2022 23:48

What keeps you going when you have doubts and you are really struggling?

Fortunately that hasn't happened to me for a lot of years now, but what kept me going was the trust that, while I wasn't sure about God, God still believed in me.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:33

HoppingPavlova · 03/12/2022 23:58

Do you do exorcisms of houses/people? If so, how much of your work does this make up?

In 25 years it's probably been around a dozen times.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:35

LionsandLambs · 04/12/2022 00:30

Thanks Op, this is very interesting.

can I ask what you think about Reiki? I am a sceptic and have no spiritual beliefs. At work (hospital) someone performed Reiki for staff and I experienced vivid colours and tingling in my hands and eventually all over my body. The ‘healer’ reported seeing angels all around me. What do you think about this? Is it mumbo jumbo?

I believe that God works through people and situations, and that some people have the power to mediate God's healing. If Reiki brings comfort, go for it!

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:37

awomansvoice · 04/12/2022 02:42

Hi, thank-you for starting this thread. I grew up with strong Christian beliefs but lost faith at around the age of 17. After losing faith I suppose I was a bit hippyish and looked to new age stuff for inspiration, then went to the other extreme of being a vocal atheist and cynic. It's hard to put into words, but I've since regained faith, though not via any established religion. I see 'god' as something more abstract, I see forces of good and evil in the world. I see 'god' as the life force, energy that moves through all living things, and it's up to us how we use it, for good or evil. It's something I feel very strongly. When I'm around those with bad intent, I can sense that negative energy very strongly. I've found new levels of compassion for people, and it has made so many of my everyday interactions go better by approaching everyone with love and recognition of everyone else's struggles, their humanity, and trying to see what's going on behind the energy they're putting forward (some people are just to be avoided though!) I'm just wondering what you think about all that, this idea of 'good' and 'bad' energy. I haven't studied Zoroastrianism in any detail, but it seems to relate to this principles within this faith.

I also have a different question for you about the loss of religion in people's lives. Many social commentators are claiming that with a loss of faith in organised religion, people are turning to alternatives to religion, such as gender identity ideology or other types of social justice extremism. There's talk of trans people being 'sacred', for example. And if you know much about transhumanism, there is a lot of quasi-religious terminology and imagery used. It seems there are a lot of movements and causes striving to reach a kind of 'utopia' or 'holy land', but with cult-like features, where any kind of questioning or dissent is forbidden, and people are shunned for not going along with the prescribed views. I wonder what your thoughts are on the replacements people use for religious faith, as I think it's extremely toxic. I personally think it's entirely possible to be an atheist/humanist etc and not turn to such substitutes for religion, to be clear. I have a lot of respect for someone like Ricky Gervais, for example!

I have one more question that I've just thought of. Do you think that if you grow up indoctrinated in an established religion, then if you leave that faith you will always feel that there's something missing and have to replace it with something else - a belief system or even an addiction or obsession? I suppose this relates to the question above in some way, but more than that, I can think of friends I had at school who weren't brought up with faith, and they had no interest in it. Do we create a need for faith by telling kids that there's a god and indoctrinating them in a religion? Do some people have no need for faith if they've never been raised in it? I suppose I'm questioning why I feel the way I do about 'god', when someone who wasn't raised within a faith might never really think about it. Thank-you if you have time to answer any of this.

I think there is more here than I can do justice to in this medium, but I would encourage you to find a friendly local priest to speak to.

Just one observation: whenever we try to explain faith, or God, we are limited by the language we have at our disposal and the experiences we've had. There are many ways to find God, and God can work through all of them.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:39

erinaceus · 04/12/2022 06:40

Does the sneering, dismissive attitude of some atheists frustrate you? Is there a Christian way to process that feeling?

It's true that atheists can be extremely rude and unpleasant, but then so can some Christians! I think it's a shame when negative attitudes shut down discussion - we can all learn from each other's views, but only when kindly and reasonably expressed.

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whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:40

MammaWeasel · 04/12/2022 07:08

When do YOU feel closest to your God?

In silence, when I have space just to 'be'. When engaging with genuine people's genuine questions, in discussion groups, or right here, right now.

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Original poster
whyhere · 04/12/2022 08:42

reallyworriedjobhunter · 04/12/2022 08:21

How do you support your parishioners? I imagine debt and mental health issues are spiralling.

They are indeed. We have a special fund to which generous church members contribute, which we use specifically to help people in trouble. We also point them to places that can help them, like Christians Against Poverty, and food banks, and mental health support. And, of course, we pray for/with them (but only with their permission, obviously!).

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